Monday, January 28, 2008

Why I don't eat beef.

Click on the creepy meat man. NY Times article... will make you want to barf.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Single Music Moment

The one exciting upcoming event in Miami that I have heard about recently:

FRIDAY FEB 29th, POPLIFE and THE RHYTHM FOUNDATION present JOSE GONZALEZ with Special Guest MIA DOI TODD at The Manuel Artime Theatre.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Flavorpill sends out e-mails about books, fashion, events, and art. Usually, I find the ArtKrush e-newsletters somewhat inaccessible, but this week, it kicks ass. There are some great links to outsider artists. Check it out:

Bro, seriously sad: Heath Ledger

I, like the rest of the western world, cannot believe that Heath Ledger is dead! C'est si terrible.

A (sort of) retrospective:

10 Things I Hate About You: awesomeness.

The Patriot: not Braveheart, but bearable.

Brokeback Mountain was even too sad a movie for me, and I am a lover of things sad (ballads, Hallmark movies). But it was about gay love, so I was about it.

Heath Ledger was so goddamn good in Brokeback; I couldn't understand a single word that came out of his mouth! I had to rewind that last line 50 times! He was cheated out of the Oscar on that one. And isn't it ironic that Ennis was the one who outlives Jack... something to chew on.

He's supposed to be in a Terry Gilliam movie, too. TG has some luck there with the movies recently. What about that The Man Who Killed Don Quixote, his dream production, that turned into Lost in La Mancha, a boring documentary about a failed movie?

Anyway, I'm sorry you're dead, Heath. I'm sure you're in a better place. Maybe you're luxuriating on Brokeback Mountain! Who knows? I'll drink one for you later.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Hot, bro.

I feel like the day you realize that you're officially old is the day you accept that you want to be with Daniel Day-Lewis, forever. That was me, yesterday. DDL is the older lady's hot boy. Sexy, intense, and check out that acting!
There Will Be Blood is an amazing adaptation of an Upton Sinclair novel, with steaming hot DDL burning up the screen. The movie could be considered slowish and the subject matter potentially boring, but really, this movie was all about the acting, the soundtrack by Radiohead's Jonny Greenwood (very Hitchcock-ian) and Paul Thomas Anderson letting the actors act. The best scene is when Paul Dano "saves" DDL. He's screaming, "I have abandoned my child." You really get that moment with his character as a human, not just a sociopath. I always like the religious epiphany, especially when it's happening to a sexy man.
Anyway. I love Daniel Day and I want to marry him.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Brovine Conspiracy

If you read below, you saw that I was tricked into eating the flesh of a cow by an unwitting Dogma employee. Well, after four years (four fucking years!), I was slipped the cow again on Saturday night! Twice in one month!

Picture this: Miami, Florida, US1, 4:30 a.m. on a Saturday night. I hadn't eaten much all day because I wasn't feeling well, but after a drink or two, I hungered for a spicy chicken crunchwrap supreme. I emphasized chicken, I repeated it several times through the radio, chicken. My brother and I were singing "In the Garage" anticipating the delicious flavor of the Bell. Sweet savory heaven. I took my first bite, it was all sour cream, "oh, yeah," I bragged. Then the next, mmmmm, no meat yet. On the third bite, my tongue touched meat! I pulled over and looked closely. Those heifers got me again. It was BEEF!

I don't want to eat you!

Friday, January 18, 2008


This is from Nathan. It promises to be good.

Friday tonight!! at 7-10pm?11pm?+Its pretty intense. so intense, u have to sign a waiver to get into the gallery. no joke. (we had 2 proofreads)get there before some of the art melts too. we have calendars for sale!!

Monday, January 14, 2008


This morning, I was driving out to US1, and I saw a macaw flying low over traffic. It was flying as fast as the cars and I followed for awhile until I was forced to stop at a light. I thought for sure that I'd see it's blue and green feathers smashed all over the asphalt, obliterated by an ignorant driver. I considered slamming on my breaks sideways so that everyone would have to stop and let it fly ahead. It disappeared, though, and thankfully there were no bloody traces of the bird on the road.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

I hate you, Dogma

I haven't eaten beef since New Year's day at about 5 a.m. in fucking 2004! It's been 4 years. I will admit to a tiny bite of empanada and a half a junior bacon cheeseburger in 2005, but before and since, not a single bite of burger, steak, roast beef, brisket has landed in my stomach... not even a hot dog... until today.

I ordered 2 turkey dogs from Dogma on Biscayne and she gave me beef dogs! I was starving, so I mindlessly gorged on the red meat. I had almost finished my first one before I realized that it didn't taste like a turkey and it didn't look like a frigging turkey. It tasted good and moist, unlike the bland white meat they stuff into hot dog casing.

I hate you, Dogma. You ruined my 4 year stretch and my day.

I might as well have eaten this:

Friday, January 4, 2008

Free drinks? Let's see.

I hear there's free drinks for ladies at Studio A on Friday nights starting tonight. I'm somehow doubting this. It'll probably be free Skol drinks and Jager shots, if anything.

I just wish, for once, they'd do something like give ladies Irish Car Bombs, Stoli Blueberry drinks and Blue Moon for free.

If you're reading this, oh promoters of boozing, please make my wish come true!

Caucus, bro

Hey, so, I was watching CSI or something like that last night, totally engrossed in the morbid tale. Then the results from the Iowa caucus popped up on screen and that crazy political flea bit me in the butt again. OBAMA! I know this vote is mostly irrelevant, but wow, go Obama! Obama is going to stick it to your mama! That's my suggestion for a campaign slogan.

Can we talk honestly? I have always said that we'd have an ethnic minority president before a female and that it probably wouldn't happen within this century. I mean, and of all the females, Hillary? Ain't gonna happen. But Obama... he seems so perfect, except that America is incredibly racist and his freaking name is Obama (Obama vs. Osama--- my other slogan or Obama 1, Osama 0). I swear there is no way some backwoods Deliverance types or suburban men with tiny penessss will vote a half-black man into office. Yet that hope still burns in me that we'll get a lady or someone who can actually tan, or just be naturally tan in office before 2100. I like Obama. I'll take one of those, please.

The Utne Political Blog reports that God actually endorsed Mike Huckabee... or at least that's what a lawn sign in Iowa says. Quality. I love middle America. Fuck evolution and women's choices, this is God's providence! The fact that Huckabee doesn't believe in evolution means that I must change his name here to Mike Hickabee... corny, I know, but necessary. We are evolved from monkeys. Not Davie Jones Monkees, but actual primates.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Sorry, NYE and Elevators (the good kind)

A few things...
As is obvious here and to all my friends and family, I'm a gigantic flake about getting pictures I've taken out into the world. I apologize. I'm an a-hole. But as Tupac says, "that's just the way it is..." or wait was that Bruce Hornsby?

This NYE was a hugemungous, lame time. I'm sure you will agree. There have been better. I spent the whole night driving Miami -north to south and back, mostly- and not appropriately drinking. I hoarded a bottle of expensive champagne, sucking it down at midnight, but ended up sharing it, recognizing that it might intoxicate me into the "Champagne French Zone," where I think I'm fluent and try to speak to everyone in French. Not a cute or coherent sight. I'm glad it's over and we've entered this exciting new year. Let's just pray that 2008 brings liberal politics into power. Maybe we could reelect Jimmy Carter?

Last night I saw the documentary, You're Gonna Miss Me, about Roky Erickson of the 13th Floor Elevators. It's hard to explain how I feel about the actual story here. I thought the movie was great, the editing interesting, the cinematography was intense... Two thumbs up.
I just thought the Ericksons were such a disturbing, yet familiar, group. Roky was sentenced for like 4 years to a high security mental hospital with rapists and killers for possession of a small amount of marijuana. Which proves that although Austin is cool, and Hill Country is beautiful, Texas can be a really demented place (Waco, Bushes, etc.). What really intrigued me was the commentary about pharmaceutical psychotropic drugs. I mean, he's nuts, they won't medicate him, then they give him meds, he's functioning, then they take him OFF the meds and THEN grant him independence, criticizing the medication of crazies (this part was in the post script). His brother (a highly functioning crazy) declares that there is no such thing as mental illness... and then the director shows poor Roky, whose nerves are clearly racked, twitchy as hell, in the courtroom, neurotically biting or licking his lips, blinking hard. I mean, I guess my point is that I just think that his family could recognize that the meds helped him and were necessary at some point (and probably still are).
Anyway, he's a brilliant performer and what a voice-- I love the Elevators. I wish I could see him at Coachella, but it's sold out. I love psychedelic rock, man. Peace.