Friday, May 30, 2008
This cat has it's OWN OFFICE and I, with my useless degrees, have a sort of hallway cubicle. I'm pathetic. And please, don't miss out on the moron in the background of this picture. I want to punch her.
Now these dudes in the photo to the right were "found," recently, by The Man. Merci Saint Anthony, because I mean, they were frantically looking for themselves everywhere! Nothing like discovering people that already exist peacefully and untainted in nature. Now that we got 'em, I'm sure we'll be forcing penicillin down their throats, clothing them with old Budweiser tee-shirts we got for free at the bar, and have no idea what to do with, and choking them with all the Red Bull and Marlboros they can handle until they're just as fucked up, modified and neurotic as the rest of us.
It's sad that I'm kind of jealous of a cat and a bunch of people in the Amazon with red paint on their bodies, isn't it?
Thursday, May 29, 2008
USA vs Al-Arian follows the arrest and trial of Sami Al-Arian, an Arab-American university professor accused of supporting a terrorist organization abroad. For two and a half years Dr. Al-Arian was held in solitary confinement, denied basic privileges and given limited access to his attorneys.
This ruling tempts me to marry a lady just because I can! I can choose to munch a coochie, right? I mean, who wouldn't choose to be discriminated against? Hate crimes are such a joy to be victimized by!
J/K, boys and girls, I know you came out of the poon like that. You guys are the greatest! XO, congrats, for realz, bro. This is thrilling news.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Hopefully I get smashed, stumble over to The Bar and take 50 shots of whatever is cheapest, then yell and flirt with whoever will talk to me, then crawl home.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Christ almighty, I laughed my ass off.
I don't know about you, but little dix are not what I'm looking for when I go on vacation.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Obama arrived to screams and cheers and immediately left the podium to walk and talk to the audience in a comfortable manner around the stage, "like Oprah," he said. He managed to joke with the attending constituents while responding to his opponents criticisms. He spoke of the importance of veterans' benefits by referring to his grandfather's service in the military during WWII. Described how the GI Bill provided his family with shelter and education, allowing him to get to where he is at today, showing that although he hasn't himself fought in a war, his family has sacrificed for this country. The audience responded the most enthusiastically to his comments on healthcare; he noted that McCain hasn't proposed his own solution to the grave injustices in our current system. That was his only mention of other candidates that I could hear (the acoustics were terrible) beside mentioning that this election is not a blame game. He stuck to defending his stances on the issues, including his rejection of suspension of the fuel task this summer, which has been supported by Hillary and McCain.
We had a lot of laughs. One guy yelled out, "we got your back, b!" Afterward, the same man told us that he would be following the Obama trail to DC. He stood as long as we did on the floor, for hours, and as we walked up the stairs, I noticed he had a significant limp. Obama had inspired us all, and made the discomfort of the wait (8 years/4 hours) worth it.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
I went to this show, and I was one of only FIVE people in the audience... no lie. However, Yo Majesty was so awesome. Shunda K, I guess, or GMEQCA or something, the one on the top in that picture, came up and gave Nate and I her card. She was really natural on stage; it was like she came out of the womb rhyming. And the themes were like about being a lesbo and stuff, emotional but not stupid. There were these 2 dancers on stage, a girl and a homo. He was amazing, it was like watching one of those seriously gay-er Madonna back up dancers work it hard, all smooth and sinewy. Next time, you should show up to see this.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Over the past few days, the air has been noxiously not breath-worthy in South Florida. On Sunday, I attempted to sit in my parents' pool with my friend in from London, and as we chatted, our eyes slowly closed and became crimson while ashes fell from the sky like snow. It was repulsive and my sinuses were inflamed with anger. Every day since this fire started, I feel like my head is on fire and I'm so unbelievably tired!
The worst part is that it's not going to end anytime soon, and it was started by an arsonist. What an a-hole. Right? I mean, what's the point? How much of an erection does s/he get from watching the flames and the allergies of Miamians flare? I'll tell you one thing, it doesn't turn me on.
The Miami Herald keeps saying that the weather is changing and will improve conditions for firefighters, but they've been saying that for five days now. More than 40,000 acres have been destroyed, prisoners from Krome were removed and the habitat for the endangered Cape Sable Seaside Sparrow has been threatened. I just hope it ends soon so I can again leave my front door open and smell the deliciously hot, sweaty, Miami summer air and have my eyes returned to me less swollen.
(Thank you to my most beautiful, brilliant cousin Farrah Farley for being so linguistically talented. If you need an Arabic translator, let me know.)
Senator Hillary Clinton "Solutions for America" on Wednesday, May 21, 2008 at University of Miami, Bank United Center 1234 Dauer Dr., Coral Gables, FL 33146. Doors Open: 6:00 p.m. Event Begins: 8:00 p.m. FREE and open to all...first-come, first-served!
Senator Barack Obama will speak at the Cuban American National Foundation Luncheon Friday, May. 23 at 12:00 pm, Intercontinental Hotel, 100 Chopin Plaza, Miami, FL 33131. Tickets: $150.00 per person. Contact Gabriel Mendoza at 305-588-0124.
Tragedies in the news:
Senator Ted Kennedy has a brain tumor. Those poor Kennedys. American royalty.
Patrick Swayze is going to die soon from pancreatic cancer.
An earthquake wiped out at least 13,000 people in China last week in the Sichuan Province. I need to tell you why I think China will never become the world's superpower, and this incident is reflective of my reasoning.
A cyclone in Myanmar killed more than 100,000 people.
More fun stuff:
My super cool friend Henry was promoting this, I imagine he'll be making beautiful music:
GOLD DUST LOUNGE, Friday June 6, 2008 at 7:00 PM, Books & Books, 265 Aragon Ave, Coral Gables
From sweatrecordsmiami.blogspot.com, a few highlights:
Friday, May 23
--STUDIO A: YO MAJESTY 7pm, tickets: $12 in advance, $15 day of show. 60 NE 11th St.
--RAG*TRADE: Sweat Records welcomes the newest member of it's retail family. Come to the grand re-opening!! myspace.com/ragtradeco
Monday, June 2
--STUDIO A: NADA SURF perform live!! Tickets $15, 7pm. 60 NE 11th St.
Monday, June 9
--VAMPIRE WEEKEND, Tickets $20 at Sweat Records, Fillmore, 1700 Washington Ave.
There is a ton more stuff on there, including George Michael in August (I'm going). Check it out.
Some good news for your inner demons. I hear that a new Gothic party will be starting at the Upper East Side Garden, I believe the first Friday of the month! And like they'll be playing the good, dark shit, no Marilyn Manson baloney. I'll keep you updated.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Best Japanese Restaurant Domo Japones--- also really expensive, but tasty. The Poma Domo cocktail was the only billion dollar drink worth tasting.
My old buddy Tyler Lovejoy wrote up a little FYI for Miami, bro about this endeavor:
Produced by the white guy from TV on the Radio, with guests like that guitar dude from the Yeah Yeah Yeahs and Bowie himself, it will either (tragically) introduce posers, who've never heard of Waits, to his music, without knowing it's his, or (magically) shed new light and breathe a fresh voice into the "gravelly one's" jams. (I wish I sounded like a gargled gravel.)
You can just warn America with the information provided herein -- use it all if you like.
Here's the video for the first single -- ScarJo -- which is available now on iTunes. And yes, that's the Goblin King doing backing vocals.
Oh -- and you can do a Pepsi challenge. Scarlett versus Zooey Deschanel (with M. Ward -- Zooey wins, hands down, since she writes her own stuff and it's fabulous).
-Tyler Lovejoy (genius)
It's me again and yes, I added the genius part, because Tyler has an inflated IQ and ego, and I think he knows what he's talking about most of the time, when he speaks, writes or yells drunkenly (except when arguing with me). Feel free to add your own opinion on the album. I personally was surprised by her voice, it's at least interesting, but really, come on, compare her monotone to Waits' version. I haven't heard her whole album, so I can't say nothing, bro (as they do say in Miami). However, I can assume that I probably wouldn't buy it.
Also, I think Tyler wants to marry M. Ward and have Tom Waits' babies.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Our future president!!!
The family, in a booth. This place was chill as fuck. It was like Fox's without the grime. Oh, and with the prestige of former visitors, such as the rulers and great thinkers and shakers of our nation.
This was my lamb stew with orzo. The meat was tender, there was a distinctly Mediterranean taste to it: yummy cumin. The appetizers were amazing: a soft cheese in philo triangles, Greek salad with chunks of feta and thousand island dressing, fresh octopus, grilled pita, a plate of dipping sauces including perfectly flavored humus, some fish things and, my favorite, tzatziki, thick and a little lemony.
This was a swordfish skewer.
Shrimp, scallops and some octopus inky substance.
This is a shout out. Cheers to Jimmy (inferior sibling), Diana, Leah, Alfonso (my new, better brother), my cousins: Farrah, Julie and Mary Kate. This place was called Rosemary Thyme Cafe, which was just OK.
This is my prettiest family member, Farrah, eating garlic out my hand.
This is my brother, Jimmy. His look was heavily influenced by the film Deliverance.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
The only complaint was that they didn't have the monitors on, and we couldn't see anything from a million feet back. Doesn't matter though, it's fucking Radiohead!!! I sent my brother in DC a text, it read: Thom Yorke thinks you're a douche. Then I called and left Thom playing on his voicemail, just to rub it in that he wasn't listening live, and I was. I'm the douche.
At the Torche show, also at Churchill's, we met Mickey Munday from Cocaine Cowboys. This was an eventful incident because Mickey and I had a brief talk about religion and then he told me some serious dirt. I won't repeat it here, but we talked. That's all I gotta say.
Torche rocked, as usual. They bring the house down. There's Juan on the left, in serious metal mode. Definitely come out for their next show. You will not regret it.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Here's Nathan and Oly, jamming:
A monkey/lesbian duo was on-site:
I tried to dress up like Frida Kahlo, but this little chick kicked my ass!
Nathan, Oly and Danny L.
It's so lovely there! I think someone should have a party there and then invite me.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Madame Alexander: what nightmares are made of
Bi-racial Precious Moments: for the black man and white woman. Congrats on celebrating your complexion!
My favorite: Pillsbury Doughboy Lovers: for the chubby couple in love
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Here's Cristy from Afrobeta, Otto Von Schirach, Charlie and Jose El Rey.
These 2 are of the birthday girl...Yarisleysi--- or something of the sort.
Alas, it's ALEX CASO of the Waterford Landing!!! One of my favorite people in, dare I say it, the ENTIRE UNIVERSE!!! He also can make your booty shake with his rockin' beats and fantabulous sense of humor.
Here's Sean with his traveling sign of FOR SALE items. Everyone was encouraged to write on it. I think it was for what's selling that night (coke, pot, etc.), but I may have misunderstood because I was insanely intoxicated. I wrote Hillard Wiseheart (pictured here), because he's on sale.
I also ended up crawling in the fire and water fountain to light my fucking cigarette. I have NO IDEA where the thought came from or why I thought this was a good idea, but I guess it was from my own sick mind and came out of my stupid drunk body. I think there was glass in there, because my knee is busted, so as a word of caution, don't crawl in there with only shorts on.
Friday, May 2, 2008
Thursday, May 1, 2008
My favorite highlight though is the frowning face over which is non-ironically written, "It smells like shit in here."
Check out holy Dick, and click here for some great little nuggets of Cheneyness.