Monday, June 30, 2008
Don Henley's legacy should be a matter of vigorous public debate.
In my mind, the Eagles' country-influenced songs, such as "Peaceful Easy Feeling," are far more valuable than plugged-in efforts like "Life in the Fast Lane." Henley's contributions as a solo artist have a more consistent "Lite FM" sound, but the lyrics of his well-known ballads offer glimpses into his personal changes through the '80's. Whereas "The Boys of Summer," with its charging rhythm and various rehashings, remains popular with the next generation, the contextual significance of a Baby Boomer anthem leaves me disconnected from Henley's creative impetus. "The Heart of the Matter," on the other hand, describes an experience not of nostalgia, but of renewal and optimism to which anyone can relate.
The song opens as the story of a man who learns of his ex-lover's new relationship. Henley meditates on the "struggles we went through" before asserting "I'm learning to live without you now," awkwardly adding, "though I miss you sometimes." The prechorus is the strongest part of the song, perfectly setting up the eponymous refrain. He continues, "The more I know, the less I understand. All the things I thought I knew, I had to learn again." As for the chorus, I love the rushed cadence of "and my thoughts..seem to scatter...and I'm thinking about...(cue the black ladies) FORGIVENESS!" The topic of breaking up and the tone of Henley's sandpaper melody betray the hope of the song's message.
The second verse includes Henley's prescription for finding one's way in a world bereft of clarity and mercy. "The trust and self-assurance that lead to happiness, they're the very things we kill, I guess." Though lacking the graceful syntax of, say, a memorable rhyme by Lennon and McCartney, our man put into song an unfiltered theory about a vast and serious topic. One must doff his cap to Henley's lyrical courage.
I still cannot hear this track without thinking of dentist offices and other places where soft-rock stations played in my youth. For years, I thought this song was not only lame, but sung by Michael Bolton. Now, the volume dial turns clockwise when I pass the channel I once avoided like the plague.
Friday, June 27, 2008
I guess there's really only one thing to say about this, and that is: whoa.
Let me preface with my view on the fashion industry and media and the whole hoopla about girls barfing because they want to be skinny like some dumb bitch in a magazine. I just don't think that people hate their bodies and faces because of the media. If it's anyone's fault, it's that daddy never told them they were pretty or mommy's jealous of them because mommy's as big as a house and you're 14 and, I don't know, maybe daddy's leering at you or some other horrible shit.
Anyway, this media thing is such an absurd idea to me that I can't even wrap my brain around it. I've been skinny, I've been fat. I like me either way. This is because I have self-esteem, an absurd amount to be honest with you, because I realize that in life, the only person you are hurting when you hate yourself is YOU, you fucking idiot! The only thing the media makes me feel bad about is that the luxurious fabric of a Galliano gown may never grace my wanting flesh.
This Missing Model show is strange though, because it's saying two conflicting things. One is that having a pretty face matters, that you should care about being photogenic--- thus alienating most of the world who possess ugly mugs, crooked noses, bald heads, jowls, weak chins, etc. And then, on the other hand, they're saying that having a physical limitation shouldn't limit you to showing off your pretty face. It's just terrible on so many levels.
I like fat models, I think they're hot, sometimes. Chunk is yummy. Feels good. I also love America's Next Top Model, not for Tyra though, who I think is an incredible moron, but because it's sort of fascinating how they make these gawky chicks look so good on film. Here's a little tip for all you people who hate your bodies, these models hate their bodies too. If you have kids, tell them you love them, that they're beautiful, even if they're porcine. Make sure to let them know that looks don't count for much in the end, but a good sense of humor, a quick mind, and interesting life experiences make you worthwhile. And fuck what everyone else things. They're stupid and ugly anyway.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Saturday: Don't forget to go to MOCA to watch Oly and Danny L perform on Saturday at 2 p.m. It'll be a cultural experience. You know you need one, so just go.
Friday: Jacuzzi Boys are playing their last show at Vagabond before heading on their US tour. I think there are $1 beers too, which is even more incentive to go. I also think this thing is sort of early for Miami standards, not the usual 1 a.m. show. Don't quote me on that.
Thursday: Money$hot featuring THE SCION A/V TOUR with DROP THE LIME, FRANKI CHAN, RADIO CLITFREE. RSVP for complimentary admission, drinks are 2 for 1 before midnight. Vagabond, 30 NE 14 Street.
Money$hot is actually fun and if you get drunk, close your eyes and ignore the churns, it's really a good night to dance and shake your bottom.
ALSO, something wonderful has happened in our beautiful Miami town, myopenbar.com has started a Miami edition. Check it out.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
You can see my comment right here. This is sound advice for ladies.
"Thank you for the gay goodies. As an official hag (sad), I am constantly pestered by my homos about where to go, and when, for gay Miami fun! Maybe we can go together some time?! I must say though, if you have a vagina, DON'T GO TO TWIST. Your gays will abandon you and you'll end up getting hit on by the "one straight guy" at the bar. That guy isn't straight, he's either dealing or gay-for-pay, most probably both... and there's no way out, since no one else wants to talk to you except the tweaker who thinks he's bi. He's not, he's gay."
One year she either lured my friend Stephanie and I with the promise of extra credit, or guilt, to a rally outside the Biltmore; it was Big Sugar vs. Little Everglades. President Bill Clinton was speaking that day at the hotel and we were all trying to get our message across. Well, needless to say, we were holding signs and yelling on behalf of the Land, against sugar companies that dump in our water supply and the poor workers who have limited resources and actually carry out the work. It's always a mixed bag, but ultimately, the earth is numero uno in my book. Later that day, Steph and I snuck our way to the Biltmore pool, and since we were deemed not a threat, were allowed to watch Bill pass by. I yelled, "we love you Bill!" and Stephanie yelled, "we love Chelsea!"
I am writing this today because Florida's big sugar business has seemingly capitulated, and handed over almost 300 sq miles of land, including wetlands, over to the State, at a price of course ($1.7 billion). This is wonderful news for Miami, bro! The State seems dedicated to using this land for good, not evil, and apparently the workers own 30% of the company in stocks and they'll be receiving 2 years severance pay-- no need to worry bout them. So, on this important day, I just want to congratulate Mme Michel La Belle! 1 point for Mere Terre, if you will.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Just the other night, when I performed Love Bites by Def Leppard at karaoke, I was approached by one of Miami's more popular DJs, who asked me whose song it was. I was horrified at his ignorance, because I always assume that everyone knows every hair band ever, since that's when I fell in love with a very young, sexy, pre-surgery Bret Michaels. I was obsessed with this sort of music, I was about 10 and my hormones were surging lustfully. I loved to headbang at parties. No lie. I still jam out when I hear David Lee Roth's voice coming through the airwaves (Jump was like one of my top ten favs when it came out... I was almost 4). Anyway, I know Metallica isn't a hair band, exactly, but the point of the story is that my roomie told me that I shouldn't assume everyone knows this kind of music, because, essentially, they're younger or weren't exposed to it. I'll let my roommate off the hook, because he's not pumpin' up the volume to BIG 106, but everyone else should know Love Bites, One, Jump and Every Rose Has Its Thorn (yeah it does...). That's Def Leppard, Metallica, Van Halen and Poison, respectively.
Back to the point of the story: I was driving back with my lunch and jamming out to One, because it's so fucking awesome. And it dawned upon me that I was even more thrilled that their movie, Some Kind of Monster (which was a castrating documentary about the band, depicting them as lame old rockers with extreme and unmanageable ego and emotional barriers), didn't affect how KICK ASS their music sounds. Isn't that something? I mean, once I started thinking about the movie, I remembered what a fag Kirk Hammett comes across as, with his ranch, horses and Kenny G hair. And how repulsively bourgie and un-metal Lars Ulrich is when he sells his artwork at auction. Finally, poor James Hetfield. He's just pathetic in this film. It's like he never aged past 16. Anyway, back to the good news: Metallica will always rock, ALWAYS. So if you don't know, now you know. Go download some tunes.
I was browsing through the Internet pages, which are illegible on my minuscule monitor, but thankfully, just looking at the images reminded me, for no particular reason, of this brilliant video art I saw at the Moore Space last art walk. We happened to stumble into the most genius art any of us had seen in a while, created by Florida native, Kalup Linzy. This dude is hilarious, brilliant, mind-boggling, disturbing, and kinda sad. This is a tatted black man, who dresses as old ladies, women, and men, and uses voices that sound like the little scary lady in Poltergeist. He's performing some sort of novellas for ghetto gays. At one point he plays a chick who calls her new boyfriend to come over, her boyfriend is a woman in drag, and once she/he arrives, they have the strangest sex scene that no nudity can provide. I actually found the scene below! Enjoy it. One of his pieces is called ''All My Churen." That is an unbeatable title in my book. I mean, ''All My Churen?'' Brilliant. And the main character in some of the videos is named Taiwan.
I guess he performed at the Moore, and I missed it, in May. I was in DC, I think. The closing is July 1, so get out there this week... or you could just check his work out on YouTube.
Monday, June 23, 2008
I'm sure most of you were moved by his passing as well. It seems they're dropping like flies recently. I have to say, I was most genuinely (unsarcastically) moved by Anna Nicole's death. Something about her and her son dying around the same time, and that poor cockeyed little baby rising from their ashes.
On a lighter note: you all may or may not know the new Kate Moss, Brit, it-girl, Agyness Deyen. She's been hailed as a sort of indie, fashion goddess, and I will admit, she does have style, though most young Brits dress well or at least creatively, and she's got a buttload of cash to work with. I thought there might be a glimmer of actual cool hope for this babe, but now I see she's dating the guitarist from the Strokes. Ugh, they make me shiver with snobby disgust. The Strokes make musical diarrhea. And, on top of that, please, check this guy out. He's like, I can't even describe it, his mediocrity is overwhelming. He's even sitting like a woman in this picture, with his toothpick legs and old man pants, and apparently he has fleas, as he is shamelessly digging into his ear. Point being, these two nauseate me. Though, if I had to make out with a chick, she'd do alright.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Friday, June 13, 2008
R. Kelly was acquitted... Great, maybe he can add another 3,000 chapters to Trapped in the Closet and provide more pre-teens with much needed urine baths.
If you're in NY and need a break from the City, go up to the Delaware River for a night. I went up there on a canoe trip once, and getting drunk on the water was definitely better than baking in a tiny closet apartment. I got quite the sunburn- which felt good after the long winter; only thing is, when we went there were baby frogs jumping into the tent all night, so I got no rest. Thumbs up for a lil' vacay from the NYC.
By Marco O'Toole
fresh off gettin a solid pump on at the gym, i sauntered down the street to MickeyD's (as is my wont) to get my requisite protein in a box. i decided i'd try the new Southern Style Chicken Sandwich (as opposed to my usual post-gym QPw/C- Quarter Pounder with Cheese) and was taken aback by the salty, sweet juiciness of the delicious smackeral of a sandwich the likes of which can only be rivaled by that most hallowed of Chick sangwiches - The Original Chicken Sandwich from Chick-fil-A (the McD-version even has the signature 2 pickle slices with a sweet soft buttery bun)....The Original Chicken Sandwich still reigns supreme, but needless to say the next time i get a hankerin for fried poultry on a Sunday, i won't be left cursing the heavens that Chik-Fil-A is owned by a religious zealot...i'll simply mozy on down to the House That Kroc Built and stuff my fat maw with their newest treat
Thursday, June 12, 2008
This is my beautiful baby cousin, Farrah, and my younger brother, Jimmy. I have about three hundred pictures of them making ugly faces, as do most of their friends. These photos truly are hideous works of art. They range from base pieces, to more mature monkey mugs, to ones like this, that are just genius. Farrah is the true master of the ugly face. I can't imagine anyone prettier with the ability to make such repulsive shapes out of their skin and muscles. I mean, she's the TRUE talent, always has been. When she was very young, she would distort her face, turn to me and demand, "am I your prettiest cousin? Am I???"
I must say though, that Jimmy is fast learning her ways. Please, take a look at his expression above... It's understated ugliness evokes in me feelings of fascination. It's like, you know he's holding back to create the true masterpiece. Sure, he could make it more extreme and typical ugly-face, but he's trying to make a point: sometimes, less is more. It's just ugly enough to communicate brilliance, and it definitely says: "douchebag," but also, "cocky, high school debater" and "frat guy fucker." There is so much feeling in these faces that it makes my life worth living. This is art, functioning as a tool for expression and survival. So, bravo, maestros, bravo.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Singer: Ezra Koenig, who's like 23, is actually awesome live and really added enthusiasm and some screaming to the songs (I love screaming), and basically, he's adorable. You can probably remove/replace the rest of the band (sorry, guys), but this kid is pretty solid. Even if you think the music is juvenile and lame, he comes off as pretty talented and comfortable on stage, often chatting with the audience (I like that too).
Crowd: UM whiteys, young blond chicks, really young blond girls, old balding dudes, and NO ONE I knew. My friend said she knew a buttload of people there, but they're a little younger and went to private schools. Not my scene.
Show: Very enthusiastic audience, one of the best I've seen in Miami. However, consider that at most shows people just chug their drinks and leer at one another. Even at Radiohead, no one in our area but two creepy teens in front of us had the balls to dance, and that wasn't even in Miami. Most people at this show were bouncing around having a lot fun and the lead singer even said that this was one of the best crowds they've ever had. Represent.
Sound: I haven't been to Jackie Gleason in years, maybe even since I saw David Sedaris speak there, but the sound is fabu! It makes me ashamed of all the other places we listen to live music at, except Churchill's since you can always interact with whomever is on stage, if you really wanted to. So, cheers to the Filmore, worth the extra few bucks.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Here's a clip from the show at the Dorsch this past Saturday. It was a really fabulous performance by Oly, Nathan and Danny L. This was the last song of the night and it was definitely one of my favorites. Their chemistry was right on and it was here, I felt, that they came together just perfectly. Bravo, buddies!
Dylan Romer had a time lapse video of the stage projected behind them on the wall. It was rad and you can see more of his work at www.dylanromer.com. Dylan is really talented (check out the logo up there) in every artistic way. Next we gotta just get him to act.
It's Okay to Cross Now was also lovely. I have little idea how to talk about art or food in an intelligent, eloquent manner, so I'm not even going to try, but the closing was well attended, and I loved the work that was showing. I wanna see more!
Friday, June 6, 2008
I know I didn't mention that Yves Saint Laurent died earlier this week, but I actually was saddened by his passing. For instance, when I saw he was died, I said, "oh, poor Yves Saint Laurent!" You know, but I said it with my cottonmouth French accent, and I was immediately mocked by my friend, "Eeeve San Lauuurenn," which I deserved, because my accent sounds like shit these days, I sound like I'm trying to hard, but at the same time, you know, at least I'm not like some douchey American saying, "Wives Sanet Loourent?"
Then I had some drinks at this really cute restaurant in the Grove, George's, which should be Georges since they're all a bunch of croaking frogs. The guy's name has to be Georges, which is pronounced differently from George, but for whatever reason, he had to Americanize his name and not his attitude. The place was teeming with Frenchies. Our waiter mocked a girl I was with when after she ordered he said, "You can order in French or English," implying what she said was like some other bullshit language that she farted from her mouth that he had never heard. I think she got some tartare thing, like she said, "tuna tartare" and he was like, "googoogoogaga?"
Point being, the French are borderline repulsive when it comes to manners. He was not a friendly waiter until I started speaking to him in French, short sentences, but, you know, things that were relevant, "plus champagne" or "non, c'est tout." I probably didn't make sense, but he appreciated my old college try. I took about six+ years of French, and it's been years since I practiced. I watched the France 2 news the last two nights, and let me tell you, if there were no images, I wouldn't have had a clue what the hell was going on in the world from the words alone. There was no actual point to this blog, but to mention that if you see me and you speak French, offer to tutor me, preferably for free. Thanks. Also, you like my Monty Python reference in the title? What a funny movie, man.
Tomorrow, Oly, Nathan and Danny L will be violining, guitaring, singing and makin' musical love at the Dorsch Gallery (151 NW 24th Street) for the closing of It's OK to Cross Now from 7-10 p.m. Bring your prettiest ears. There's art too, so don't forget your eyes and brain.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
The Miami Herald published an article today noting that McCain voted with Bush against providing much needed federal support for the Everglades National (national, I repeat) Park.
"The $2 billion in the 2007 legislation was intended for three phases of the comprehensive Everglades plan: plugging canals and removing roads to replenish Picayune Strand State Forest, restoring the Indian River Lagoon watershed, and raising Tamiami Trail to allow natural water flow."
You know, I'm no policy expert, but I think those are things worth contributing to, and even a reasonable amount of cash, considering Hurricane Katrina's effect on LA, and especially in comparison to the amount we've spent on that useless war in Iraq ($2 trillion, so far). The amazing part is that all these Floridian Republicans voted or lobbied for the funding (i.e. Martinez, Crist, Ros-Lehtinen, the Diaz-Balarts), normally not known for being great environmentalists. "Martinez voted with the 79-14 majority to trump Bush's veto of the legislation, the first of his presidency." The first of his presidency! Wow, executive power has been a little too powerful these past eight years, if you ask me.
Hillary is finally accepting defeat and endorsing Obama. Only God and Obama's advisers know if they'll add her to his ticket. I'm hoping not, but whatever. I don't think she can help him get elected, but what do I know?
Also, there have been more tragic earthquake aftershocks in China, reinforcing my somewhat psychic claim that China will never be the next superpower given it's geography and poor infrastructure. Discuss.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Anyway, I'm thrilled and I thought his speech was beautiful last night. I think that he is definitely one of the best orators I have ever seen and I pray to God that this pulls him through to victory in November!
Good news for gay Greeks. The first same sex marriages were performed on a remote Greek Island today; 2 boys, 2 girls. Hooray!
Bad news for music. Bo Diddley died yesterday in Florida, where all old people go to die.
A group exhibition featuring; Karl Vohwinkle, Luis Garcia, Robin Griffiths, Chin-chin Hsu, Cristina Molina, Carrie Montano, Hugo Montoya, Jon Peck, Toot, Tony Kapel, Travis Pendlebury, Enrique Quintero, Brian Reedy, Guillermo Ruballo, John Sanchez, William Soto, Brandon Sparling, Kyle Trowbridge, Maitejosune Urrechaga.
Monday, June 2, 2008
Also, check out the current exhibition, which apparently is defintely worth seeing: Sympathy for the Devil: Art and Rock and Roll Since 1967. I'm sorry I missed the opening, but luckily, my lovely friend, Nicolette, delivered to me a thoughtful poster: What Would Neil Young Do? He's kind of a hero of mine and oh man, Harvest Moon makes me cry everytime I hear it. How can you not love a Canadian that wrote "Southern Man" and a fuck-you-Bush-anti-war album Living With War?
In other news, the Blowfly/Otto/Ravelstein show was a shitload of fun. I became intoxicated and vanished at some point, but there was dancing and laughing and pushing of bodies. You should have been there! I missed the Modeselektor show because of the UFC fight and a coinciding party. I heard it was "fucking amazing" and I "really missed a great show" (this is where someone looks at me with a disappointed head shake, tsk, tsk). Oh fucking well, I saw some dudes beat the shit out each other instead. Anyway, my buddies and I decided to change Modeselektor's name to Mod Skeletor. Under this name, they perform in Skeletor suits and mini-skirts and cute little mod-early-Beatles' haircuts.
The UFC fights were entertaining. This was the first time that they have aired on cable television (CBS) instead of pay-per-view. They're violent, I like them. They showed some lesbos going at it, which was cool, but the highlight was Kimbo, a massive hunk of man from Perrine, representing the 305, and well at that! He punched the shit out of this neanderthal's cauliflower ear and I wanted to barf for a second there, just because, ew, how could he touch that bulbous mass, even if it was with a fist! It makes me shutter. My one complaint was that they pussily cut the middleweight and heavyweight fights just short of anyone getting knocked out. What the fuck are we watching this shit for if no one is going to get knocked to the ground?
This sort of describes how I feel today, and I always loved Masters of the Universe; we even had our own Castle Grayskull.
Is it just me, or did Skeletor have a great bod?