Miami, bro.

Miami, je t'aime

2010-06-27T16:51:00.000-07:00

I haven't written on Miami, bro in a bit since I've been busy establishing a new website, The Heat Lightning, which I encourage you to read and enjoy. However, I wanted to address something someone said to me recently, and I thought this was the best place to bitch.

I was asked a question by a fairly recent Miami to New York transplant regarding my living situation. Out at a bar, the inquiry went something like this: "you're an intelligent person, can I ask you a question?" (Of course!, says me) "Why do you stay in Miami?"

I was sort of shocked, as anyone would be. It's like asking someone one of these questions: you're pretty, why do you have such short hair? You're not poor, why do drive a P.O.S. car? You're not a douchebag, so why do you live in Brooklyn? Doesn't the original question assume that no one intelligent stays in Miami? Are all the people who work, reproduce, grow old, fall in love, take jobs here, are all of them retards? Do they have no common sense? What's wrong with you? With me?

I answered kindly, since I am kind. Miami has a great burgeoning art scene, it's relaxing to live here, it's beautiful here... After a minute, I noted that living in New York was stressful for me, I felt always at the bottom of some pile of people who look better on paper. Since I'm honest, and honestly a bitch, I also I made sure to mention that New York isn't that cool anymore. It's not that edgy, and all in all, it's not for me.

It's hard to be nice when someone questions your life choices. It somewhat assumes theirs are the wisest. I believe that I live a way more interesting life in Miami than I would if I were running from the Subway to work to the bodega to the "next great" band concert to home to back again. I don't want to dis on New York. I love my New York friends, I love eating there, being there for a few days, but it's a hard lifestyle. You get to see your friends once a week if you're lucky. In Miami, I get to see my friends every single day of the week. You see more buildings that animals or plants. That was hard for me living in Manhattan or Brooklyn. It was isolating, and it's difficult to feel isolated, for me at least.

Today, I spent the most lovely day at the beach. The water was just warm enough, the sun and clouds were just so that everything looked clearer out there. The Atlantic's hues were more defined than usual. If I could take this day and pass it around, I feel it would be a lot less intelligent to leave Miami than to stay here. Everyone's priorities are different and it's not that I am completely without ambition. I just don't think New York's THE place to be. Tell me you're moving to Beirut and I'm impressed, but New York, here, please, take my yawn.

A few years ago, one of my best girl friends, who doesn't live in Miami, was casually discussing people, specifically what makes people interesting. And it was what they do, you know, what they're doing. It's not interesting just to live in an "interesting" place, but what you do in that place where you live that is impressive. Anyway, I think every place is interesting in its own way. Adventure is interesting. So are people who follow the unusual, who uncover new desires by following old ones. Those who move to Moab to collect rocks, live in a trailer in New Mexico making art, learn to drum in Morocco.

I am interested in enjoying that bit of life that's been given to me in a way that is peaceful and enriching through the senses in reference to the intellect. Smart people are pretty easy to come by and they are unimpressive if they're not good, giving, and growing. People living in New York are plentiful, but people living in New York that are rabidly interesting are equal in number to those living elsewhere the world that are as well. Maybe I seem like a slacker or complacent because I live here, but I love it here. It's not that I wouldn't move again, because I might, but while I'm here, I'm going to suck all the wonder from it. J'aime Miami, bro.

Saturday night's alright

2010-06-05T08:38:00.000-07:00

If you're not kissing and hugging John Spain good-bye tonight, hit up Churchill's for what should be a good time.

The Heat Lightning is happy for some press

2010-05-10T16:54:00.000-07:00

Many thanks to Kyle at The Miami New Times for writing a very kind article about The Heat Lightning!

The Heat Lightning: for you to bookmark

2010-05-09T20:56:00.000-07:00

Bros,

I have been working on a new website which I hope you will all read much, much more frequently than you have read Miami, bro. It's not that I'm not grateful for your Miami, bro reading time, because I am (I luv u) but, a new site with more content will offer you more quality opportunities for laughing and crying (and snoozing).

The Heat Lightning is a collaborative project I'm working on with Alesh, which we will be launching today. Contributors will be some of the smarties we know from around this town, and around the world. We want to show the expanding universe how we think all the way down here in tropical SOFLA, and what we think about what is going on out there. Many of those writing for the website are from other cities around the country, but all of them (so far) have a perspective that is not without Miami sensibilities. We all read about what people are wearing and listening to in other cities, but what do people like here in our hometown?

Our critical, nagging voices will be heard!

The Heat Lighting is going to try to be funny most of the time. Major goals are to entertain, inform and amuse. If we fail at these things, leave us mean, hateful comments. Don't worry, we can take it. Just read regularly (please) and pass us along.

I'll continue to post here about Miami based events and stuff I'm up to, so it's all good (I knew you were super-duper concerned. No fear, my kitties). Miami will always be bro, and so will you.

Secrets, secrets are no fun

2010-05-09T15:16:00.001-07:00

I've been keeping a secret from you. By tomorrow morning, I'll be ready to share it.

The past few weeks, I've donated my evenings to a little, big something that I hope will please you, so stay in touch!

Negligence, bro

2010-05-03T20:21:00.000-07:00

Miami, bro is not ignoring you, but rather working on some future project that is certain to through and through please you in the future (unless you have a crush on blonde Erin from The City).

A few things I've been up to: I spent the work day in the Four Seasons residential tower. Nice looking pool! Wish I could have experienced it (insert sad, sobbing face here).

The Jacuzzi Boys show on Friday was outta hand. There were entirely too many people there, which is a good thing for them and for the bar. Although PS14 or Black Bar isn't as good a venue for mosh/dancing as Churchill's, it is still a pretty nice place to get all up near the stage and enjoy the show. They're going on tour to like every freaking city in the nation and if you're in those cities, check 'em out. Disregard the bloated belly and notice the adorable t-shirts. You need you one of them.

Conga Madness!

2010-04-24T12:35:00.000-07:00

In a hyper-Miami move, last night 20 or so friends gathered at my house and we made our way from party to party, united as one, in the style of a conga line.

Tell me this isn't a brilliant performance, an expression of togetherness and delight, and I'll tell you you're wrong!

Happy birthday, Juan!

Happy Birthday, Kizzy!

2010-04-22T00:04:00.000-07:00

by Farley Aguilar

PBS: oh happy day!

2010-04-20T19:51:00.000-07:00

I am unnaturally obsessed with PBS. When I turn on the TV, I automatically put on one of the two public channels Comcast provides (used to be three; I cried when Create was taken off the air). What can I say, I wear glasses and I like to learn.

Most of the time, I feel pretty good about this predilection, like when I catch an episode of the Jeremy Brett version of The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, or when I hear the gruff, but alluring, voice of Burt Wolf blaring from the box.

There are other times though, when I'm not thrilled about what's on, but I'll watch anyway. Like when Tavis Smiley is on or Charlie Rose is talking to someone really boring.

But then there are the instances when I find myself watching a show that I'd rather not. Take tonight, for instance. I sat down to browse the channels and write on Twitter. Like a true addict (of PBS and now Twitter), I hit up channel 17 first (no idea what was on), and then moved on to channel 2. Frontline was on, so I stopped and watched.

I thought to myself, audiences are always offered an informative, interesting program with Frontline. I'm going to hear an in-depth story about a real-life issue. I'm going to learn!

I didn't bother to remember that every time it's on, they're featuring something miserable... and today was no different.

I watched The Dancing Boys of Afghanistan. I learned about bacha bazi, the practice of buying, selling, raping, trading Afghani boys, and really, much, much more. We're talking super happy stuff. I mean, could I have honestly asked PBS for a more thrilling topic to lull me into a nightmarish sleep? Maybe if you threw a few puppies and baby kitties in there and then stepped on them.

Now, Independent Lens is on and I'm feeling sad and shitty all over again. They're talking about soil, and how we just LOVE destroying the earth! Couldn't they have just thrown on a cartoon? I love you PBS, I feel like I learn from you, but you turn me into such a miserable sack of shit sometimes. I just wish there was a happy edifying show on somewhere, right now. I have to wait until this weekend where I can bask in the glow of my happy PBS crew of lispy Rick Steves and thin-haired Lydia. Those are the guys who really understand my needs.

Pride and Sweat

2010-04-19T16:28:00.000-07:00

So, folks, I went to Pride day on South Beach this Saturday. Even though I had a mean hangover, I got on my bike and rode my achy ass out to support equality and a little bit of tackiness. Above, for instance, those are pillows, in case you were wondering. As ridiculous as they are, they, in part, made my trip well worth the discomfort. It's not like I want one, but if there were one in my house, I wouldn't be sad about it.

After the gayness, I travelled back across the bay and hit up Sweatstock. Sweat Records hosted a more than adequate showcase of local bands. I missed the earlier sets, which included Raffa, Jacuzzi Boys, Panic Bomber and Animal Tropical, but I caught Otto and the headliner, LA duo No Age. Overall, really great time. Everyone seemed relaxed and social. The usual pretension was not present, as far as I could tell. It was tops. Excited about next year's festivities!

Here the lovely Jessica and I entertain two drag queens.

There was, of course, the requisite Madonna impersonator. Couldn't decide if she was a she or a he. (S)he looked very convincing. The backup dancers are shes.

The nice sized crowd

As you might be able to tell (though up for grabs with some of these kids) this, below, is Sweatstock, which also boasted a really nice sized crowd.

The kids got rowdy for No Age, but my age and my inability to enjoy life over my headache kept me from jumping in. I'll be honest, I didn't jump in because I was too sober. There, I said it. The truth hurts.

Looks fun though, right?

I caved - Twitter, bro

2010-04-19T09:46:00.001-07:00

I finally joined Twitter. I fear this will be the downfall of Miami, bro, but I move forward bravely into the unknown.

For way too long, my friend Alesh has been using mind control to get me to tweet, and I successfully resisted! But, on this terribly rainy day, with nothing else going on, I caved. Hopefully this will not make me irrelevant and foolish, although, I fear I am both of those things already. So, I guess I mean, I hope this will not make me more irrelevant and foolish.

Wish me well as I move into the dark unknown of this ridiculous phenomenon.

You can follow me here.

Things That Scare Me, bro

2010-04-15T07:02:00.000-07:00

No, this was not just an excuse to post a Neko Case song. Right now, there are at least two seriously frightening things going on in this or a nearby galaxy.

British airspace has been shut down thanks to ash from an Icelandic volcano. Great, shifting tectonic plates, real nice! Always starting trouble. It's probably a good time to bring out those SARS masks again, because the smoke is heading eastward, all psyched and ready to blanket northern Europe. Luckily the Continent isn't used to a ton of sunlight, so things should be pretty normal around there. I hope this bad boy clears up before July, because I'm already hitting Orbitz hard for a flight to jolly old England.

Even more terrifying are the radiowaves that something huge and frightening out in the universe has been spitting at us for over a year now. Scientists don't know what this mass is, but they've waited this long to publicize it and are still clueless, so that can't be good. The waves are moving at us at four times the speed of light. I can't conceptualize this, but in my head I envision an indifferent but hungry, burning, amorphous mass speeding across galaxies to devour Mother Earth, probably arriving in a few hours.

I'm blaming this space beast for my nightmares, minimal productivity, lack of exercise and general malcontent. Thanks almost-black hole for ruining my already mediocre life.

Things That Scare Me - Neko Ca...

Jimbo, Still Old

2010-04-11T22:19:00.000-07:00

As you can see, I went to Jimbo's birthday party this year and got yet another kiss from the man himself. If I remember correctly, 2009 was madness. I think that was the year I saw that old lady lift her shirt and two dudes run up and each grab a boob in their mouths. This year was MUCH tamer. There was only really one lady with her ass hanging out (see below). There was also a smaller crowd, probably because it was a crappy, overcast and then rainy day. Either way, I don't regret going and I'm keeping my fingers crossed they'll be another next year.

Happy birthday, Jimbo!

Deez Gritz or Some Bites are Better Than Others

2010-04-11T19:02:00.000-07:00

On Saturday night, I was more interested in napping and watching a Joan Baez documentary than just about anything in the entire world. Even my growling stomach, which was becoming a huge issue, couldn't move me from my pillow. Eventually, after the pains became debilitating and the documentary neared the end, I motivated. I made it only as far as the Design District to try the Michael's Genuine Cuisine food cart.

First of all, good news, Brownes & Co. has an ATM inside (thanks, guys!), so I was able to pay the cash only. I ordered the main meal, described above, pork shoulder on grits. I was expecting too much, I admit, but as the title says, some bites were better than others. There'd be one that was really on target, full, balanced flavors and then the next would be like a confused mix of mismatched tastes. I wolfed it down in 20 seconds though and I obviously liked it enough to grab the dessert, a peanut butter smores. This I couldn't finish, because I'm not a peanut butter obsessive or anything and it was like eating a paste (a good paste).

I have to say, good attempt. I am excited at the prospect of food carts catching on in Miami. In LA and NY and many other cities, this is the way to eat when not at home or at a restaurant, and it serves well. I love street meat. That's right, I said it. It's damn good. It's fast food that's still greasy, but is actual food. Nothing like it. Anyway, I fear though that this food cart trend won't actually catch on and we'll only have this one fancy one hanging around for like a month or two and then back to the s.o.s. Let's keep it coming. I'm hungry.

Art, Palestinians and Street Meat

2010-04-07T07:33:00.000-07:00

This appears to be the site of a British photographer, Sam Seager. He's in Japan and some of his pictures are outta control. They make me want to go to this dreary Japan of my dreams. I'm usually completely disinterested in visiting. Besides the fact that the country is entirely too long a plane ride away, the pictures of Tokyo always seem so busy and bright. This miserable Japan with the scary laughing beer man makes my insides grumble with desire.

I am very psyched about the Palestinian non-violence movement that's been gaining popularity. There's nothing more heartwarming to me than a people who have been oppressed and beaten down finding within them the strength to say no in a way that doesn't involve real violent destruction. You can't always win with boycotts and marches, but it makes you look a lot less like an asshole to the rest of the world. PR accounts for a lot in public policy and perception. No one's going to pay for your Molotov cocktail, but they might rally behind your peaceful protest.

A friend of mine, Natasha Duwin, makes amazing art that'll make you think of vaginas. She weaves and embroiders and uses non-traditional materials like feathers and twigs to make beautiful and unique works of art. That's one of her mixed-media creations below. I am proud to have one of her woven, feathery vags on my wall at home. It reminds me of what I'm made of.

There will be an opening reception at Artformz (171 NW 23rd St.) from 7-10 this Saturday for Natasha and Henning Haupt.

Also art walk related, I see that Michael's Genuine Cuisine has a food cart which will be making an appearance on Saturday in the Design District. How is it possible that I haven't eaten the entire cart by now? I'm not going to lie, I'm disappointed that my tongue hasn't touched every part of that rolling restaurant yet. I think this Saturday will be the day of reckoning for my belly and that food.

Matters of maryjane, Malkmus, music, bikes, buses, and bros

2010-04-02T06:56:00.000-07:00

Harold and Kumar may be coming out with a 3-D X-mas movie. New York Magazine alerts lovers of the Asian duo of this potential BLOCKBUSTER. OK, blockbuster is debatable, at least let me claim cult classic on this one, definitely a Miami, bro favorite.

Given that Kal Penn is part of the Obama admin, a screening on the White House lawn would be a sweet swift kick in the nuts of the GOP, a sort of thanks for nothing from the gays, potheads and people with preexisting conditions around the nation (equality now, legalize it, health care, yes!).

***

A truly, very funny "Public Apology" from Dave Bry at The Awl to Stephen Malkmus.

True story, the other day I repeated an embarrassing thought I had to a friend. I told her that I had recently fantasized about how jealous my exes and friends would be if Stephen Malkmus were my boyfriend. It really doesn't get geekier than that. Feel free to mock me a-holes, but I'm sure you've thought the same thought, or something similar, you're just too pussy to admit it.

***

Thrifting in Tampa, anyone? Do I smell a day trip? Oh, wait, I forgot I have $8 in my bank account for the next week. I love working and not being able to pay my credit card debt and buy used clothes.

***

Oooh, horror story. I was on Ocean Drive and 2nd on Wednesday, after work, and I ran into some friends on bikes. We said hi and chatted for a sec, when suddenly, I heard a loud pop and crack and I looked to my left and saw that a huge bus had run over a bike. I thought, how strange that a bike might be in the middle of the street like that. Then we heard the screaming. The bike wasn't alone.

The bus driver got out, yelled and went back in to move the bus, though I didn't see it move much. I went over to look and the man was conscious, in a helmet and going for his cell phone. It wasn't clear whether the bus had dragged him or ran directly over his legs. They were pretty beat up with abrasions and some visible bones. Talk about a trauma, bro. The most amazing thing to me was trying to imagine that this gigantic, 10-ton bus rolled over this 170 lb. human and he was not dead. My dad said the rubber tires help distribute the pressure or something (I prob misunderstood him), but still, that bus was filled with people. Truly horrible.

***

I know you don't have party plans this weekend, and I know you like good music (or at least you pretend to), so here's something for Saturday. You're welcome.

Animal Tropical (formerly Down Home Southernaires) is one of the most talented Miami bands, just coming back from a tour (or been back. I like the drama of the "just," forgive me). At Cinema Sounds 6, you can check out "historic" Little Havana and hear some serious Miami musica. No excuses.

But there's like stuff there, right, bro?

2010-03-31T07:56:00.000-07:00

A few things I'm thinking about right now are:

*Babies Os Mutantes and the great versions of "Baby." Here you go.

*I hate quotes. They're usually so trite and too much a weak attempt at actual wisdom. You can make a small point in a fortune cookie, but the message isn't going to cure your insomnia. It's like putting a McDonald's where Ferrara's was, or something remarkably tasteless like that.

With that in mind, Joseph Campbell quotes are not as good as reading the whole of each of his books, but good ol' Joe really had a way of cutting to the chase.

Here are a few nicely said words by JC (whoa, didn't realize that was coming). They're all about the good stuff, the stuff that makes sense - fear, courage, paths. Super mythical and mystical.

"The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure." (Yes.)

"Myths are public dreams, dreams are private myths." (for religious studies and anthro nerds)

"The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe to match your nature with Nature." (Go Inner Mother Earth!)

"You enter the forest at the darkest point, where there is no path. Where there is a way or path, it is someone else's path. You are not on your own path. If you follow someone else's way, you are not going to realize your potential." (to which I quote Queensryche's Silent Lucidity, "Hush now, don't you cry, wipe the teardrop from your eye." Oh, courage.)

*Laf How much I love The Awl, which makes me laugh out loud daily. Alesh wrote a little something about it, and I'm not in the mood to elaborate, except to say that I am very thankful to laugh. Also, as a liker of pretty boys, this was enlightening.

*Dyslexic Heart A guy at the Wilco show was wearing a Paul Westerberg tour tee. I was tickled, because, as you might know, my favorite soundtrack ever (ever) is that of a film called Singles. I also couldn't see when the last Westerberg tour was, but I looked it up, 2005. At first, I wondered - who would go to a Paul Westerberg show in Miami, and they I realized, duh, me and that guy, and maybe a few of you old bags and music nerds (that's right, nerds). Bring it on, Paul.

*Who's going to do gross right now? According to the NYT, Motel 6 is being redone to look like every other crappy boutique hotel in the western world. Where will I enjoy scratchy, puke-stained, velour sheets now? Why are we so intent upon removing all unique personality from corporate America? The point of chains is that they are reliably inferior to local businesses and every time you go into one, you know exactly what to expect, since they never change and all look the same, and that you will not receive the best of anything. I'm disgusted and am never staying at a Motel 6 again, unless it's the cheapest available hole conveniently located off of I-95.

Finally, how great is this webpage? Answer: great.

Last Goodbye?

2010-03-28T08:54:00.000-07:00

Do something good, Miami

2010-03-25T07:11:00.000-07:00

After I completed my graduate work, I spent a whole lot of time volunteering and looking for a job. It was right after September 11, and there was no work for me anywhere, except at the makeup counter at Bloomingdales. Luckily though, a coworker at Bloomies handed my resume over to her sister who worked at a non-profit, Human Services Coalition (HSC). When I went in for my interview, it turned out a bunch of my anti-war (pro-peace) buddies were either working there or were on the board. “Score!” thought I.

I did end up getting the job and working there for almost three years. I went from being the Kidcare assistant to the policy coordinator, and few other things in between. Although HSC experienced all of the trials of a grassroots non-profit, the organization was always steered in the right direction by the staff and by Executive Director, Daniella Levine.

Daniella made sure that HSC was always a nurturing environment, one that encouraged open-dialogue and growth. All of the stress of working under grants and with the South Florida community were manageable because you always knew that you were working for the most just causes and that you were moving forward and developing as a worker and as an individual.

When I worked at HSC on healthcare policy issues, a bill like the one just signed into law on Tuesday (YAY!) by President Obama was merely a fantastical dream under a double Bush administration (we had one as governor too at that time). Thanks in part to the hard work of people like Daniella and her staff, this dream entered the heads of many other people and finally developed into a reality. I takes a lot of energy to do the right thing and to get others to understand your cause and to support it. HSC values advocacy and action, American values that sometimes become lost in the aftermath of a long, crappy day at work.

Come tonight to HSC’s Open Door – Open House and learn about an organization that has given so much to the South Florida community. Their new offices are located at 1900 Biscayne Blvd, Ste 200, and the reception will take place from 6-9 p.m.

went to Wilco, it was good, bro

2010-03-22T22:00:00.000-07:00

I wish I really liked Wilco's music, because then I would have probably lost my shit on Monday night's performance at the Fillmore. It was one of the nicest concerts I've ever been to, considering I didn't know any of the songs (I'm exaggerating, but basically, I'm an embarrassment - I didn't retain any of Yankee Hotel Foxtrot). However, the audience really understood the music and the band in a way I haven't seen at a concert in long time. It was very easy to watch and listen and besides that, there were so many people there. Who knew there were that many Wilco fans in Miami? I mean, everyone knew every word. I think they were bussed in from Broward or Chicago.

I've had Wilco on my ipod for years before recently accepting that I will never listen to them actively and consequently deleting them. I even had their album Mermaid Avenue, which is comprised of unrecorded Woody Guthrie lyrics to which Guthrie's daughter allowed Wilco (and Billy Bragg) to accompany with music.

Of the things that thrilled me, Jeff Tweedy brought this geekly young boy Max on stage and let him sing a song. I got choked up for realz on that one. The kid was just owning the shit out of that stage. Then Tweedy pretended the amps weren't working so he could get his roadie Steve to come up and then everyone sang him a happy birthday. I'm a sucker, I know, but it was very nice. They held an intermission where the band sat down and brought lamps out, moving closer to the audience, adding an intimate touch. They then played audience requests collected before the show, including a Woody Guthrie song (which was THE best part of the performance). A couple of them brought out and played alt-country instruments, including accordion and a banjo (awesome), and even gave out free dinners from Doraku. I kid you not.

Other than all of those treats, they played forever, were goofy and looked like they were having a ton of fun.

What can I say? I'm sold on the band. Now all I have to do is reapply their music to my tired, old ipod and revisit my feelings on it.

I forgot my camera, so I had to use my cell, hence the terrible quality of pictures. This one on the bottom is the boy, Max, on-stage pretending to play to the guitar or really playing, what do I know?

We all have favorites, and here is one of mine

2010-03-19T08:09:00.000-07:00

I'm going to say this because I mean it. I don't think Farley Aguilar could possibly make new art that I love more than what he's already produced. He's the tops.

I've been friends with Farley for a long time now, so you might think I'm biased and just blowing smoke up his ass, but if that's what you think, you're wrong. I don't buy things that I can't wear or shit out, but a few years back, I did purchase an amazing small painting from Farley. It's hung right over my bed.

The painting is of a bonfire, and it's small, not much larger than my hand. When I first saw it, it reminded me of a trip I had then recently taken to Maine, where my ex and I caught the final beach bonfire of the season before winter came. It wasn't just my memory that endeared the piece to me, it was the subject too, being both magical and mundane. It's the supernatural in the natural. It is that place where God and man meet; it's religious. The bonfire is much simpler than Farley's larger works, but it retains the same power. Farley captures a big mood in a small space.

I find it difficult to write about art, because maybe I don't have the vocabulary or maybe because I don't want to offend anyone. I always end up sounding stupid or mean, so please take my insecurities into consideration here. When I was twenty, I visited my best friend in Paris and on a day when she was studying, I went to the Musee d'Orsay by myself. The main exhibition featured a Polish painter Jacek Malczewski, whose beautiful (and hard to find on the internet) paintings blew me away with all of their myth, symbolism, fantasy and the potential stories! There were so many stories, I could only begin to get in there and dream them all up. Farley's paintings make me feel the same way, even though the message being expressed by each artist is different (this is where I don't write about symbolism and social politics). They are filled with fear and fantasy. Besides that, they're beautiful, with bold colors and tiny details. His view of the world is one that is enchanting and romantic. It's a world of which I would like to see much, much more.

In one week, Farley's first solo show, Ulf, will be up at the Art and Culture Center of Hollywood. Here's a nice review of Farley's work on ArtLurker and here's something I wrote a while back on NBCMiami.

Ah, the luck of the 1/8 Irish

2010-03-17T07:05:00.000-07:00

You may not be sure what this is, so I'll tell you. It's the banshee from Darby O'Gill and the Little People back again to wish you a very happy St. Patty's Day! Hopefully, you don't run into her tonight.

I am only an eight Irish, and I seem to have some kind of unfortunate luck. Let's hope the luck of your Irish ancestors is a bit better and more understanding.

I'm getting amped for that green beer tonight, since it dulls the pain of the every day, three-leaf clover misery. PS14, or Bar, is opening at 6, good news for the enthusiastic. I will pinch you if you're not wearing green, and you can kiss me 'cause I'm a little bit Irish.

Songs about being green!

Everclear, bro

2010-03-11T07:32:00.001-08:00

There are certain performers whose names or faces or mystiques just stick with you for your whole life, like the two Coreys. For me, one of these people is Art Alexakis of Everclear. I never, ever owned an Everclear album, I don't even know if they produced more than one, though I have this feeling there were many. I think it was his striking white hair and Greek name that keeps him lingering in my pop culture memory. That, and once my former roommate referred to herself as "a scared white boy in a black neighborhood" on my answering machine. You make me laugh; I remember.

I preface with this, because Art'll be performing at the Arsht tonight with another dude with a serious name, Ed Kowalczyk from Live (which I liked in middle school and looked down on in high school) and someone from Six Pence None The Richer (why?).

I know, who cares? I don't. I just wanted an excuse to write about Art Alexakis.

Another one bites the dust, bro

2010-03-10T08:41:00.000-08:00

Just 2 nights back at Yakko-San, we were discussing which Corey was cuter, Haim or Feldman. I voted for Haim, because he was my Teen Beat dreamboat, and look, today he's dead.

I couldn't have put it better than The Awl, "Here's a question: why does no one want to live any more?" Alexander McQueen, Corey Haim, Brittney Murphy, all self-inflicted or induced.

2012, friends, that's all I have to say, 2012.

Pub Crawl, this time on bikes, and sad Abbey news

2010-03-09T19:08:00.000-08:00

This Saturday, I enjoyed the Beer Snob Bicycle Pub Crawl organized by Miami Bike Scene, which involved riding about town grabbing a brewski here and another there. I started at home, with a headache, struggling at 3:30p.m. to get out the door. After entering the daylight, I rode with Nico (above) and Ricky across the Venetian Causeway to Zeke's on Lincoln. There there were tons of bike riders all having a genuinely nice time, sipping beer and shooting the poo. After Zeke's we all headed to The Abbey before going back across the bridge to the the DRB where I ended my bike day while everyone else went on to Titanic. I had a wonderful time and I really hope that the next one comes soon! Thanks for organizing, guys.

On a crap note, it was at The Abbey that a terrible rumor I heard was confirmed. The Abbey is closing. Cry bitches or start a petition or something! The people who bought the building that houses the bar are shutting them down. The Abbey is one of the most non-beachy, pleasant places in Miami. It has character and a nice selection of beer. It's very much worth saving, so think creatively! I encouraged the owner to get some press, so if you write something pass the sad word on and see if it changes anything.

Mrs. Ms, bro

2010-03-04T18:09:00.000-08:00

This weekend, the lovely Jillian Mayer, dancer, artist, pretty lady, will be performing her very own play, Mrs. Ms, at the Arsht Center. I know you're jealous, because it's pretty rad to have the opportunity to perform at such a sweet venue at the young age that lil' Jillian is, but she's good like that, and you're not (j/k, kinda). The word is that, "Mrs. Ms is a multi-disciplinary experimental work that is a parody on conventional musicals that explores conventional stereotypes about marriage and romantic unions." Thanks to a commission from Miami Light Project, Mayer and two other artists have been able to take part in Here & Now, bringing some seriously promising performing arts to my neighborhood.

I've known Jillian for a long time and so I know that she's one girl that will do it all. She's a break dancer, she does aerial acrobatics and she makes art. WTF? I can barely tie my shoes or braid my hair while listening to music. I'm pretty certain this is going to be a goodie. Here's the New Times notes on the performances. Watch a quick backgrounder on it here.

The first performance is going on right now, but there will be more at 9pm this Friday (tomorrow) and Saturday and one at 4pm on Sunday at the Adrienne Arsht Center, Carnival Studio Theater. It's not free, but it's a world premiere, bitches, so don't be cheap.

Thursdays are fun, Saturdays, too.

2010-03-03T10:27:00.001-08:00

I wish I had more time to talk a buncha shit about stuff coming up, but guess what? I don't. That's right, I'm busy. I know you're completely shocked, but it does happen sometimes.

I've been looking forward to this Pictureplane performance for a while. I first read about the Terri and Donna Gallery in the Paper Magazine blog. I was like, what, where, Miami? Yes, Miami. Anyway, it's not free, but I'm going to try to make it.

For Saturday, the Beer Snob Pub Crawl will hopefully be warm, dry and still. I am going to do it no matter what, but if I have to ride in the rain or through a tornado or in the freezing cold for some beer, I will, but I won't be happy about it. Be at the Arsht Center at 3:30 or Zekes at 4. If you don't go, you're lame. I mean it.

Yelp has a promotion with super cheap drinks all over town this week. I hope I can make it to one!

For a laugh, check out Kelly Osbourne's new hair being likened to Mrs. Slocombe's from Are You Being Served. I guess it's more an anglophilic giggle. I was thinking she's a little Tavi, but Mrs. Slocombe, oh man, there's nothing funnier than when she talks about her pussy, so I'll go with that likeness.

I also laughed at the misery of the polar bears on the Awl. I feel guilty, but I did it. We're going extinct soon anyway with the shifting of the earth's poles. Thanks alot, Haiti and Chile. Edgar Cayce knew it, and now we do. It's over soon, so try and have some fun.

From 1972 till today...

2010-03-02T21:33:00.000-08:00

Life is cyclical, isn't it?

I know we're out of Vietnam and the Bush era, but this still feels true.

I just know that if the health care bill passes, things will change. I just know it.

Thanks to Amanda and Hillary for the OGWT.

Dragulator, bro

2010-03-01T20:00:00.000-08:00

Last year if you were anywhere near my apartment mid-week, you would have been dragged (excuse the pun) into a RuPaul ruled world of queeny competition. My former roommate made all guests plop on the couch for a viewing of Drag Race, one of the funniest and quirkiest shows ever on television. It was on that couch that I fell in love with Nina Flowers and all the other gals, with their swaggers, saunters, tucks and 'dos.

I just searched to see if I'd blogged about this before, and I didn't, which is incredible since it was such a huge part of our lives. I have yet to see the new season, but I'm sure it's guaranteed to be hilarious and inspirational. Find your inner drag queen here.

2 good 2 b overlooked: Richardson and D./Chase and Catalano

2010-02-24T08:38:00.000-08:00

Terry Richardson shot some of the cast of the Jersey Shore.
Here are a few funnies.

Here is some genius (via Amanda, my friend with the goodest eye). How could you not like Pauly D? He's the cutest and he ends up with his stalker. Aw, Pauly, I heart you.

On a similar in some way note, I spent last Tuesday sick and watching Amanda's healing box set of My So-Called Life, and now look who was reunited: Angela Chase and Jordan Catalano!

It's kind of incredible how good looking Jared Leto was and still is, but his getup is tragic. I know it's his new "thing," but come on, Jared, you're like the dreamiest guy ever for my age group. Get it together! Who am I going to picture when I'm having my Catalano fantasy? I guess I'll have to default to Daniel Desario. Second best is never best.

For the love of scarf, a tragedy

2010-02-19T08:00:00.000-08:00

I don’t care what you guys think of me and this post. I'm grieving the loss of something I handled daily, something that was a hugely integral part of my everyday life. I really miss my stolen (and/or lost) Burberry scarf and I think the whole world (or all 5 of you) needs to know the sad story of my, now former, second favorite accessory. I'm going to begin with a short backstory.

When I was in my mid-twenties, I lived in New York for a year. The experience was more than stressful thanks to an unsupportive boyfriend who later dumped me, a really neat, but filthy apartment in the ghettos of West Harlem and a sales job that sent me to New England two weeks out of every summer month... and those were just the small tortures. I loved and hated my working time on the road. It meant I had to leave my cat with an unpredictable partner or with my friends. I was away from the City, on the road alone in strange places like White River Junction (that's right, Vermonters, strange) for days at a time. I believed it was worth the discomfort because I’d soon be able to visit a place on someone else's dime that I’d always only dreamed of: Maine.

For those of you who grew up in New England, you might say, Maine? Moose and rednecks? Whatever, yes, but I was thinking more Cabot Cove, majestic lighthouses and cliffs overlooking an angry Atlantic Ocean. When I finally made it to Maine, I upgraded to a convertible and set out to explore. It was a great trip which actually coincided for a few hours with my aunt, uncle and cousin’s journey up to Prince Edward Island and included a morning drive through heavenly Mount Desert Island. I made a friend in cool but quaint Portland and I saw forests, cliffs and ocean. It was all I’d hoped for and more.

Downtown Freeport, Maine, is basically an outlet mall, a very fancy, upscale outlet mall. It was there that I met my beloved Burberry scarf, a cashmere, blue and charcoal beauty. I purchased it at a small fraction of the full price to celebrate that I made it to Maine. Was it love at first sight? No, I had to call my best friend in London and ask his opinion between two, but after consulting, I knew it was my perfect match.

I wore that scarf for years and traveled the globe with it. I wore it when I drove the country last spring; I wore it from Berlin to Block Island, London to Las Cruces. It was my constant companion. I never once misplaced or lost it, not until this October in Los Angeles.

I don’t want to talk trash about L.A., because I love it there and I especially love my friends there. I would move there. It's tops. But one night on my last trip there, we ate a delicious dinner at The Bazaar and drank and chatted at Verdugo Bar, but because of my jet lag and from flying straight there from DC the week prior, something terrible happened. I remember a voice earlier in the night saying – I’ll hold your scarf, someone might steal it. And then someone did.

I don’t know when it happened, not the exact moment, at least. The scarf was my constant companion, so I didn't know what that lack felt like, that terrible, scarf-less existence. At one point, I did notice I wasn't wearing it, but thought I left it in my suitcase. After all the wasted attempts at searching, my hope waned, my faith fell away, I realized it was gone.

A minute ago, I saw a Burberry scarf online and I got a headache just thinking about my old trusty accoutrement. I know I get too attached to particular worldly possessions, but I’m not a Buddhist. Anyway, getting attached to something of quality saves me money, and therefore I am better able to love Mama Earth. I don't need hundreds of the same same item in different colors, I just need that one wonderful item. Less is more, amigos and amigas.

The theft of my scarf has put a genuine damper on my entire life. I beg you, if you see someone in the Los Angeles area wearing the scarf pictured below, please punch them in the face and get my scarf back. I will forever be in your debt.

That look is the sadness I felt because part of me knew that my love wasn't enough, and that one day, I would lose my favorite scarf.

Stockholm Syndrome - Yo La Ten...

Finally, bro, some pictures

2010-02-13T01:37:00.000-08:00

From Tribute: A Summoning, click to read more.

International Noise Conference - Thursday night. If you missed it, you missed out. MOST importantly, they're selling candy from the UK at Churchill's now. I'm eating my Smarties as I type!

This guy had talent: Dick Neff.

Dino sang a Nirvana cover from the drums, a la Genesis.

Snuggie Pub Crawl!!! When I got there, one of the chick's purses got stolen, which put a damper on the evening. Luckily we snugged it out and hit up the Deuce and T-Mex (San Loco). It was good. Don't you just wanna snug us?

Bro, that is noisy, bro

2010-02-11T07:14:00.000-08:00

Tonight is a pretty hot night for music in Miami, if you're me and/or you think like me. I'm super psyched to hit up the smelliest place in Miami tonight (or maybe any night, for that matter). The dirtiest noise boys will be descending upon Churchill's for the International Noise Conference. Expect some of Miami and international noise music bests, including Dino Felipe and Amanda Green. Looks like tonight's performances will be mostly Miami-folk, tomorrow - Tampa-ites and Saturday - the rest of America.

It'll be a blast. While you're over there trying to get laid by a filthy midwestern teenager, make sure to hit up Sweat Records, right next door, where Pocket of Lollipops will be performing. Doors open at 8 and there's no cover, thus no excuses.

Snugg it out, LC

2010-02-09T20:15:00.001-08:00

Lauren Conrad will be at Books and Books later today. I really want to go because I see something in LC that I just can't explain. Sure she appears vacuous, but I think there's something behind that demure silence that could be human. Maybe it's just her cute, Marsha Brady look that make me like her. I guess everyone at B&B will find out the truth about LC tonight, or maybe not. If you attend, I'd love a signed copy (thanks in advance).

Also, this Friday, I'll be participating in a Snuggie pub crawl. I, like the rest of America, received a (pink) Snuggie from my mother this holiday season. I say season because my mom got the last one on super-sale at CVS way after X-mas and thought I might want one. It's sort of like when she bought me Z. Cavariccis in high school, well after they were on clearance at Ross. The message behind the Snuggie crawl is not clear, so I'll assign one now. It's important to stay warm and comfy, with free hands, while drinking. I hope we look like an intoxicated cult and that people will spot us from their windows and join us with their Snuggies in our adventure.

After the crawl, on to enjoy Fire and Ice at the gay, neighborhood bar Vlada. It's Valentine's weekend, so I kinda hope some of you find that desperate someone to hook up with at the bar on this holiday of deep disappointment. Maybe that person will look like this, but without those scary sandals:

Scott Stewart - Chicago Sun-Times

A bunch of generally unrelated stuff I've thrown together

2010-02-05T07:53:00.000-08:00

Jürgen Nefzger’s Fluffy Clouds, mixing nuclear energy with vacation time.

Please check out these fake Tweets in response to Salinger's death. Some are very funny.

Gifts I wouldn't say no to: a teepee, housewares and a Proenza Schouler top.

An On the Road mixed ttttape

Scroll down to see one of the bestest Miami artists, you guessed it, it's Jen Stark.

Snooki from Jersey Shore interviewed Phoenix (video here). She's kind of cute (kind of) but entirely out of touch and ridiculous. She also interviews Judas Priest - doesn't know who they are, but they know who she is! For the love of God, reality TV has warped all of our realities.

Roadside America mentions some guy from Miami names Guillermo Socarras who apparently wants to build a bunch of skyscrapers on Jungle Island, calling it Miapolis. What a name! I love it.

Awesome ring from Erie Basin Antiques:

Experimental, bro

2010-02-04T19:17:00.000-08:00

Miami, bro attended Wednesday night's experimental performance, Tribute: A Summoning, an homage to Joe Meek, music producer. I'm always thrilled when there is something neat I can attend on a week night in my neighborhood, and thankfully, this took place nearby in Wynwood at the Center for Visual Communication. It was choreographed by Ana Mendez, a lovely, lithe, little lady who makes me wish I actually took dance class seriously when I was young, before I remember how much grace I lack and how incredibly clumsy I am. It wsa quite an awesome, well-attended performance with a wonderful soundtrack by sound installation artist Richard Vergez.

On to me for a second. I hate warehouses. I know it's not "cool" to feel this way, but I hate them. Can't anyone knock a window or two into the walls? I get it, the closed spaces are good for performances, but more than once on Wednesday, talk of the Great White ("Once Bitten Twice Shy," anyone?) concert fire in Rhode Island came upon the minds of at least a few attendees.

On topic again, the show started with Ana's hands dancing through what looked like the plastic tape from a cassette. Then the curtain was pulled aside and smoke billowed out onto the seated audience. The six "dancers," boys in suits and sunglasses, performed as a band to a version of the song "Johnny Remember Me." It was a really powerful opening. There were a few more scenes with the boys either coolly walking about or jerking abstracty, resembling people on fire in slow motion. Already a haunting scene, a brief clip of Patsy Cline's "I Fall to Pieces" added to the mood. The visual movements created a psychedelic feel or if you're from Miami you might say that it was trippy, bro.

Probably the most interesting scene was when the boys paired up and began to hug each other in a way that begins as tender. Then they start to move their arms into different hug positions, the awkwardness and restrant creates a minor struggle which escalates and the boys end up askew on the ground. All I could think of was how well this scene represented so many of my past relationships. Cheers for getting that onstage.

Finally, Mendez came out and danced over the boys. I'm mostly blind, so I couldn't tell what she was wearing, but it was white, diaphanous and satiny, in contrast to the besuited men. Her dance rouses them and they began flingining her around and I kept thinking,"Watch out! Her head!" But all was a success, with her head staying in tact and the audience enchanted.

The other performers included Alex Puentes, Federico Nessi, Liony Garcia, Ricardo Guerrero, Rick Diaz and Sleeper.

A potentially curious Friday

2010-02-03T07:53:00.000-08:00

I used to love cassette singles. It's true. When I was in elementary school, very little of the music I wanted to yell along with warranted the purchase of the whole album. I mean, unless you were talking about Poison, because I definitely invested all the way with Brett and the boys. But, I didn't want the whole Paula Abdul tape. Come on. I got the single.

Anyway, this Friday, 8 p.m. at Sweat Records, Roofless Records is releasing two "cassingles" by Miami artists Curious Hair and Flux Forces. My one story here is that I think one of my ex-boyfriends had a Curious Hair t-shirt like a good million years ago. It was green and I really liked it; I always wanted to steal it. Because of this shirt, when someone threw a Curious Hair bumper sticker on my car, I let it stay. You're welcome for the free advertising (and press).

To celebrate the night, performing acts include Little Beard, Curious Hair, Flux Forces and Xela Zaid. Pricing goes like this: $3 cover, $4 cover and a new release of your choosing, $5 cover and both new releases.

Here's some more information on the artists and the record label from the press release:

Through various incarnations, Curious Hair has been a staple of Miami independent and experimental music since the early 90s. Their new tape on Roofless Records, Hair Does Humbert, applies their brand of lo-fi garage folk rock to covers of two songs written by “Hialeah’s Weezer” a.k.a. Humbert

Flux Forces is the new electro solo project from the drummer of experimental punk/noise duo hahahelp! His new cassette on Roofless Records, wetdream, documents a pair of exquisite, hazy pop anthems for all the lonely slackers looking to soften their hangovers in the new decade.

Based in Miami, Florida, Roofless Records promotes experimental music by way of vinyl and cassette releases, live music events, and commentary on the Roofless Rex blog. (http://www.rooflessrex.com/)

Whet your palette, you little piggies

2010-02-01T13:17:00.000-08:00

Check out these 2 tantalizing trailer clips of Man v Food and the little slutlettes chosen to represent South Florida on his show this week.

I believe he will be filming here tomorrow. I linked to some sort of schedule last week.

Here's the one clip, and here's the other.

Watch with pride.

Also, if you're not into eating tomorrow, but more into watching something abstract that has been choreographed, check this out.

Show Me Love!

2010-01-29T13:52:00.001-08:00

For the love of all things holy, Robin S. is performing on the beach tonight for FREE in celebration of the 20th anniversary of Warsaw at Twist. Doesn't make a ton of sense, but it's Robin S. so who cares? Warsaw was Miami Beach's first gay club that closed down maybe 10 years back and was replaced by the overpriced Jerry's Deli. I hope Miami shows R. some love.

Get all the details here.

Bin Laden praises Noam Chomsky and talks about the environment

2010-01-29T08:43:00.000-08:00

Bin Laden released a tape through al Jazeera blaming the industrialized world for global warming. I suppose one thing we can gather is that he’s evolving as an environmentalist. To make the story even juicier, he even gave good ol’ Chomsky a thumbs up. With bin being a true hater of Israel, and Noam a Jewish dude, the irony is strong with this one.

I think the real story here is that bin Laden has learned this lesson from Obama: you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Sure he praised an attempted bombing over Detroit in a tape released a few days back, but now he’s coming forward and buttering us up with reason. Granted, it’s a no-brainer that the developed nations ruined the earth, and yes, we should have signed the Kyoto Protocol, we’re jerks. But to bin Laden, I will say, 1. nice to know what you think, and 2. you are a bit exaggerated in your blanked hatred of U.S. citizens. Many of us are responsible and intelligent, we recycle and conserve energy and water, we walk when we can, and we have sent hundreds, if not thousands of letters to government officials encouraging them to protect the earth over the years. If you are so committed to the environment, I think one thing to consider is that blowing things up is NOT good for the ozone, nor for air quality or plants or animals, etc. I think there’s a gap in logic there somewhere. A huge gap.

Yet another death: JD Salinger

2010-01-28T08:47:00.000-08:00

When I was in 6th grade, I first read The Catcher in the Rye. I thought there could be no book written before or ever after that would completely capture my human experience like this one did. In following years, I devoured those few, great published Salinger stories; I even almost made it through Seymour: An Introduction.

There was no human I wanted to meet more in this world. I remember that I would get anxious just thinking that I would never be able to meet or see this brilliant recluse in person. Over the years, my obsession waned. I grew up and Holden Caulfield wasn't as strong a defining presence in my life anymore. No matter how many times I've reread a Salinger book, I still can feel those initial sensations I had as a kid. I daresay that there has never been a more enduring literary character than Holden, with his hunting cap, taking a step off the curb and not knowing if he'll reach the other side.

I guess I'll never see Salinger in this life. May he rest in peace.

Obscene and Amazing

2010-01-27T19:35:00.000-08:00

Holy Lord! Vice Magazine has done something brilliant (for a change).
This somewhat subtle fashion spread reveals a certain other side of men. I think the inspiration came from the site "Awkward Boners." After years of watching women sexualized in the media, it's nice to have the switch flipped for a change. Hooray for chubs!

Call me. I respond.

2010-01-25T22:23:00.000-08:00

This was sort of an exciting weekend. I mean, not much happened in my world directly, but something kind of awesome did happen. My old roommate and one of my besties, Nathan (Lam) Vuong, flew to DC from LA to exhibit one of his photographs at an art show, Call and Response, co-curated by his wonderful friend Kira Wisniewski.

Nathan and I had spoken about what he was going to do for the show when I visited him in Tampa at Christmas. Each artist was paired with a written piece, the call, and the art is the response. That day he took a bunch of pictures of me soaring through the air - tongue hanging out and glasses awry. I thought they'd be tossed aside, as ugly as I looked. Anyway, I encouraged (forcefully) my brother Jimmy and Leah, my sister-in-law, who live in DC to attend. It was was a great success, and more importantly and unexpectedly they were surprised to see, firsthand, this rad ass picture above. Apparently, Nate's pic was a crowd favorite and Jimmy was able to tell everyone that yes, that was his sister in the photo (we are true, genuine show-offs).

Congrats to Kira for getting a bunch of great press, which you can link to here and see more here. The show will remain up till Feb. 13 at the Hamiltonian Gallery, so if you're in the District, stop by and admire me, Jimmy's sister, and Nathan, who is clearly just inches away from his dream of being photographed on a jet ski.

Cats, bro, two of them

2010-01-25T18:26:00.000-08:00

This is ridiculous(ly awesome). It's from this site. First of all, James St. James posted this image and secondly, it's a cat with a cat mark on its back. Too much for words.

Casiotone, bro

2010-01-22T10:22:00.001-08:00

Not sure about this, but I think Casiotone for the Painfully Alone will be at the old PS14 tonight. I hope it's not like last time Casiotone was in Miami playing at the NADA preview and only I and maybe 5 others were his audience. There were too many "painfully alone" jokes to made.

ALSO:

On a very exciting note, Kim, formerly of Real Housewives of Atlanta fame, and now of the "hit" single, "Don't Be Tardy for the Party" popularity will be performing tonight in Ft. Lauderdale at Living Room. I just wish I had heard about this earlier and I wish I had a gay best friend still in Miami to force me to go to this. Did you hear that, gays? I'm available.

If I could date this guy, I would

2010-01-22T08:42:00.000-08:00

Because all I do is read Flavorwire, I came upon this guy. Apparently, he's 22 years old, jobless, pees outdoors (right on) and lives entirely off of Craig's List ads, whatever that means. He's blogging his experience, which is what you do when you have nothing else going on (hello!). I'm not familiar enough with his writing, but the article's author accuses him of being half boring, half "hilariously dry-witted," if you're writing everyday, most of what you write is going to suck. It's the nature of the big, boring, bipolar writing beast.

Anyway, Jason, hit me up. I also have 2 first names, love driving the country, have a free couch and a hankering for boys with not much going on but a little ambition.

stuff, stuff, stuff

2010-01-21T12:01:00.000-08:00

For when you're bored:

Photo blog
Famous people's passport photos
Art for good stuff
Stuff to buy

Chicken with its head cut off, right here.

2010-01-20T06:30:00.000-08:00

This is a great blog to read about what's happening in Haiti: The Livesay Haiti Blog. These lovers of God have been living there for years. Whether or not you love Jesus, it's nice that they do and that they do right by mankind in the name of God. We all know that most people who say they love JC don't follow "the Word."

These are seriously amazing folks, really getting down and dirty, helping out in Hispaniola. I wish them the best.

on a different note:

Here's a site where artists illustrate 69 Love Songs.

Seriously, Massachusetts?

2010-01-19T19:50:00.000-08:00

You suck, and shame on you!

He's fighting for your right to overeat.

2010-01-17T20:16:00.000-08:00

The Burger Beast posted info on Man v. Food filming in Miami. One of my favorite people (ALFIE) is a producer on the show and asked me a while back to get some sexy Miami ladies to eat chili fries in bikinis. Yeah. I volunteered, but I think my boobs aren't big enough (for anyone). I guess they received a ton of funny pics off of the Craigs List ad for the show, nudies and such. You're jealous you don't work for the Travel Channel now, right? Boobs and fries, mmm.

Anyway, Adam Richman, the simple, hungry man who is possibly one of the grossest eaters of all time, will be filming here in Miami, so keep your eyes peeled for the gorging and future airing of the gorging. I can't wait to see him eat at La Moon! Get the perro colombiano and the mazorca desgranada, bro. They are delicious.

New thing at PS14

2010-01-17T20:07:00.000-08:00

PS14 is reopening as something else, or perhaps as the same thing under a different name. Either way, tomorrow promises to be great because there will be an installation by Freegums. Come early because I heard that whatever is going on with him ends at 11, even though the party continues to 5. Alrighty, see you there!

Tito is not fat

2010-01-15T07:42:00.000-08:00

For those of you who think Tito is fat, read this. This guy or girl or whatever has a 26 lb. cat. Tito is a mere 16 lbs. Big is beautiful, bitches. I know many of you are wondering, who cares about your cat. Well, fyi, many people, many, many people do.

He did manage to lose some weight, as far as I can tell by looking at him and cuddling him, after first gaining a stunning 4 lbs. in 4 months, while living with Nathan and I.

We like to feed, we like to eat.

I recently bought him some Paul Neuman organic food and he loathed it; thus he didn't eat much. Starvation diet! Just kidding. He ate it, but in a more healthy manner. He's looking trimmer and I'm pretty pleased, even though I loved him at his largest.

This was pointless, but I was inspired by the images in that article.

Jay Reatard is dead, too?

2010-01-15T07:29:00.001-08:00

What is this with all these young people croaking? I was so obsessed with the earthquake in Haiti, I totally missed this news yesterday! I could seriously beat myself for not seeing him when I was in DC a few years back. I wanted to go, but it was cold and no one would go with me. Again, when I was in LA recently, I planned to attend his performance, and I couldn't make it and thanks to my brother's wedding I missed Gonerfest (thanks, Jimmy). The fact he was 29 made me think that I'd have another opportunity to attend a concert. I was wrong, I guess.

This is why I hate myself, Eddie! This is why!

Anyway, his death is being investigated as a homicide.

Here's the word on Flavorpill.

Man, oh man. Haiti.

2010-01-14T09:36:00.000-08:00

This situation in Haiti is more than heartbreaking. After the initial disaster relief, how do you (re)build infrastructure for 3 million people?
Here's a good quote from Secretary of State Hillary Clinton:

But this is — I don’t want to mislead anybody. This is a devastating catastrophe. And just to figure out what steps to take so we don’t make the situation worse — I mean, it’s like looking at these collapsed buildings, Meredith. You know, you pull out one, you know, piece of wood; you may cause more damage than if you just let it stay there and went in a different way. This is incredibly complex work. We have some of the best people in the world from the United States down there, and we’re just going to do everything we can to be helpful.

Oh, Haiti

2010-01-13T07:00:00.000-08:00

Wow, what's happened in Haiti is a genuine catastrophe. You'd be hard pressed to find a city with a poorer infrastructure that Mother Nature could simply wipe out so easily. The tragic result of this 7.0 earthquake seems immeasurable, not just because we have little idea what's going on in Port-au-Prince right now, but because the damage is so extensive.

In an age of extreme communication, with Skype, GPS, Twitter and cell phones, it's always surprising to realize how truly limited we are to the space in which we stand. Destructive world events make us realize how very far we actually are from each other and how much we rely on technology to connect us. Situations like this just point to how absolutely isolated we all are, tied to the present moment and present time.

I think the need to think about the way of life in impoverished countries is apparent, too. Haitians have long struggled with poverty, government corruption, coups, deforestation and so many other extreme conditions. Maybe this will shed a bit of light on the already terrible conditions in Port-au-Prince? The truth is, it's kind of too late, just like in New Orleans. I'm not going to get into a rant on race, Haitian history and the effect it had on the present situation, nor can I speculate on the results. I just want to express my sadness.

For up to date information on humanitarian relief, firsthand accounts and the international reaction to this disaster, check here.

To all of my Haitian friends and my Haitian cousins, I hope your loved ones are alive and well. If you are a Haitian-American looking for your loved ones, contact the State Department at 888-407-4747.

Read more here about those looking for relatives.

The Tragic Death of a Strongman

2010-01-12T06:28:00.000-08:00

There is nothing real that is quite as delicious as my romantic ideas of what it was like to witness sideshows and traveling circuses in their heyday. Certainly the reality couldn't have been as fascinating as my fantasies of these spectacles, but I'll never know. Mass media and modern medicine have almost sucked all of the magic from the "unknown," freaks, superhumans and weirdos. (Luckily, TLC has picked up where the circus tents dropped off.)

Today, one of the last heroes of an era of intrigue and fascination was struck down and killed by a minivan. Joe Rollino, former strongman, and what sounds like one hell of a storyteller, died today at 104 years old. His story is amazing for its extreme tales of unbelievable physical strength and also the tragic, yet somewhat darkly comical details of his demise: that it was a minivan, that he was 104 and still going strong, that he could still bend a quarter in his teeth at an age where most have no teeth of their own. This sort of "real" life is more intriguing than literature (except in the case of John Irving). I wish there were more people still like Joe Rollino out there, telling their versions of the truth to make others' jaws drop. Every story encouraging the logical to say, "no way," while secretly, some small part of them, that faithful part, the young child inside, wants to believe, does still believe, that the incredible could possibly be a reality.

Read the NY Times story here.

Help out the bad guys for once. They're cold.

2010-01-06T15:26:00.000-08:00

Every morning, when I cross the Julia Tuttle Causeway, I take a peek over at the sex offenders. I don't know enough about them, but since the temperature dropped, I started wondering about their comfort level. I sometimes think, in my shallowest mind, that it's not such a terrible place to live. They have beachfront property and they're not on the streets. It's a bit of a community, so maybe there's some room for interpersonal relationships, bonding and such. It gets hot, sure, but at least it's not cold. Well, now it is cold and that's a problem.

The Miami Herald posted a story about these poor bastards, shivering in the 40 degree weather with little warm themselves. I was impressed by the empathetic and non-judgemental tone of the article. No one likes sex offenders, I don't even think they like themselves, but they are human beings and deserve to be treated with some respect. I think all those "Christians" out there need to leave their heated mini-mansions and drive their SUVs to Julia Tuttle and love thy neighbors. Oh, but seriously, leave your kids at home (bad joke!!!).

Here's some background on the situation. It's crazy that the government encourages/enforces this living situation. I can't even wrap my brain around it to commentate.

Finally listening to music that came out last year, bro

2009-12-29T08:39:00.001-08:00

It's great to listen to music, is it not? You can hear full albums on Pitchfork: Staff List: The Top Albums of 2009.

Also, what's this happening at Jimbo's?

Holidays and stuff

2009-12-28T07:13:00.000-08:00

Miamians,

I have much to catch up with you on, but I am currently without the photos which make me feel safe and save me some typing time. Here are a few things barely worth noting.

1. Good news! I've been reassured that Fox's will be around in its current capactity for at least a few more years. I guess that means I'll be around for a few more as well.

2. News alert: the holidays suck. They are disappointing and soul-crushing. One way to alieviate holiday pain is to read Patrick Dennis' The Joyous Season. It serves to remind that you are not the only one made miserable by Christmas and that it's really easy to laugh when things are sad and funny.

3. My parents and I ate at La Cote at the Fontainebleau for Christmas.

Depressing and WASPy? Yes. Potentially '60s glam? Potentially. I guess since no one wanted to fly down to spend the holidays with us, we were forced to spend more money than is appropriate to eat in public. When we arrived, they were already done serving their Christmas meal and the portions were small. It's always nice to eat out by the pool at a fancy, historical hotel, so I wouldn't totally pooh-pooh it.

4. I made a trip up to Tampa, more to come on that.

5. Does anyone want to make me a mixed tape or CD? I want. Thanks.

6. This was from Daily Candy today. It is stellar:

Old Acquaintance, Soon Forgot

End-of-the-Decade Fill-in-the-Blank

Dear ___ [name of frenemy],

After reflecting on our ___ [Freudian term] relationship, I realized that you suck the energy out of me like ___ [2009 vampire protagonist]. My therapist told me to get everything off my ___ [body part], so here goes:

Truth is, I never liked going ___ [trendy retro leisure sport] with you. I’m not your personal ___ [pathetic reality TV sidekick]. And it’s no secret that you ___ [past-tense verb] my boyfriend. I’d ask if you were on ___ [prescription drug], but I already know the answer, since you stole it from my ____ [aging relative].

Of course, there were magical times (guzzling whiskey cocktails at ___ [favorite NYC gastropub], charging clog boots at ___ [favorite indie boutique] on your mom’s credit card), but I want to move into 2010 as a healthy, ___ [positive emotion] person.

I do blame you for my ___ [sign of aging] but otherwise no hard feelings. Here’s to making 2010 as drama free as ___ [PBS documentary title].

Love,___ [your name]

Breaking News (to me) - Fox's has been sold!

2009-12-21T17:20:00.000-08:00

I have had my string of bad luck and terrible feelings lately, but right now, I want to throw up and cry at the same time. I've heard that my beloved neighborhood bar has been sold. It was overheard that they would be renovating Fox' s for $1 million. Why, God, why???

Seriously, on top of watching Precious and finishing Sherman Alexie's Absolutely True Diary of a Part-time Indian (which was wonderful but miserable), I think I might give up right now. The only thing anyone should change about Fox's is to bring back Allison and buy a new ceramic fox to face the back door. If that costs a million bucks then I'm alright with that. I need more information.

Please, say it ain't so!

Bro, that movie was real sad, bro

2009-12-21T05:00:00.000-08:00

I don't have a ton to say, but I have been watching movies a bit lately and so I've been thinking of other movies to watch. It's a sort of domino effect. You watch one, and you feel you have to watch them all. I have that sensation now, except with Avatar, that's right nerdly haters.

The other day, I watched Precious. I mentioned I was really psyched to see Mariah Carey with a beard, but the truth is that she kind of looked charmingly cute with le moustache. I even thought Precious was kind of a cutie. But this film isn't all about looks, it's got mad substance, bad substance too, and every kind of pain imaginable.

When I say that you really need to see this movie, I mean it. Many movies that show cruelty like this, the most severe sort, tend to desensitize someone like me. My brother and I walked out of Schindler's List for that reason. The misery becomes overwhelming and then its easier to shut down. Maybe that's why Jerry Seinfeld made out during Spielberg's epic, who knows?

Though Precious overwhelms, and the script and cinematography manage convey a strong, "life is horrible" sensation, there is a constant crutch of hope. Sure the end is miserable and mostly hopeless, but throughout the movie, there are many wonderful people that seem to guide Precious, just as she is wonderful in guiding herself.

I have my favorite lines, like "my favorite color is florescent beige," said by a classmate and of course my Facebook status, which I got a little wrong, but which is my new favorite thing to run around my head, "The other day, I cried. I felt stupid. But you know what? F*** that day." My friend Amanda noted that this was a sentiment also reflected in Anne of Green Gables, "Marilla, isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?" I don't know, but I feel like I relate to Precious' words better.

I thought this film was sadder that the saddest movie I've ever seen, Dancer in the Dark. I was so traumatized by Dancer in the Dark though, that I managed to block out the plot for years, only remembering that I cried for an hour after it finished. Precious is sort of an unforgettable tale and one that I won't be able to forget, just like I won't forget weeping heartily through the second half of the movie. I don't want to forget it though. That's someone's reality, and I don't get off on the misery of others, but it's good to be informed.

There's tons of talk about this being an Oscar-worthy performance by Monique. I'm not a movie critic, but I still believe she deserved the Academy Award for Phat Girlz.

Rainy daze, bro.

2009-12-18T09:31:00.000-08:00

I know it's raining, and rain in Miami tends to equate to soul-killing sadness, but try and get out tonight and enjoy the humid air. Vagabond will be worth checking out.

Mayer Christmas, bro

2009-12-15T13:09:00.000-08:00

Flavorwire, posted a list of 100 Gifts for 100 Cultural Icons, which you may have already seen. They're not all relevant, nor universally interesting, but there are a few cute things on there.

I had to post what these editors thought would be a good holiday gift for J. Money Mayer: mixed race chicks (they just wrote, "chicks," but just look at those babies, I could just eat them).

Are two wheels better than four?

2009-12-13T21:06:00.001-08:00

Last night, I went by the Bike Film Festival at the Colony Theater. I caught the 9:00 show, which involved a bunch of shorts, many of which mostly bored me and others that were incredibly enjoyable.

A couple of the films were identified by myself and my friend Ivan as "bike porn." This would define oddly and sexily edited shots of people riding bikes around major cities. Other films showed races with cyclists navigating their way through moving, oncoming traffic, sort of like Frogger with human flesh involved.

Although I have trouble sitting still for hours, one of the longest films tickled me pink. "The Scraper Bike King" was about these kids living in the ghettos of Oakland that hook their bikes up to look like candy brands and place colored material on their wheels. First of all, the kids are awesome and hilarious. The Scraper Bike King is like 20 years old and thinking super big (bro). He mentioned the eco-friendly nature of biking (thinking globally) and also expressed hope that they might receive sponsorships, hence the logos on their bikes. So entrepreneurial! There was a funny scene where they start talking Obama. The bikes look adorable and I was almost inspired enough to come home and put some foil on my bike. You must see this movie.

Check this out.

I'm having trouble finding their shirts on the Web. I thought it might be the awesomest X-mas gift ever (Jimmy, you're getting one if I ever find them on here).

All in all, if you weren't there, you missed a neat night out.

Bro, I got a press pass, bro

2009-12-09T19:01:00.000-08:00

The Convention Center - Art Basel 2009

At Deitch Projects, they enjoy black icons.

My friend Venessa spotted a live ladybug on a David Hockney, one of the few paintings I saw that I'd want to hang on my wall at home. This is one of many ladybugs that have appeared in my path recently. I hope they being me some good luck because Lord knows I need it.

This was a neat installation where you were looking in on a warm cabin on one side and out into the cold on the other. Fairgoer favorite.

Fountain Art Fair was grassrootsy. There was a really neat, raised sauna where drunk young people sweat out all their beer. One saunite even ended up puking and passed out, locked in the bathroom. Don't ever drink in the sauna. Ever.

Chairlift performed at Fountain. The lead singer spent about a full hour doing a bizarre and loud sound check, replete with "whooo"s and "haaa"s and complaints about everything from feedback to speaker volume. Then, during the performance, the sound went out.

Scoping out sh-t, bro

2009-12-09T18:54:00.000-08:00

All over the place, people were making public art murals. I believe it was on the official Basel agenda. This is Os Gemeos.

I thought Scope had the best art for your buck, though I didn't make it to every festival, so, what the hell do I know? Above was an animation of a scene from The Exorcist. It was very funny. There's cartoon Linda Blair spitting in the priest's eye.

After Scope, I can't even remember what we did, but my best friend was in from London and we hit up the Bruce Weber signing at the Standard. Bruce is such a cuddly looking bear. Marc Jacobs was present with his bf. My gay card was revoked because I didn't recognize MJ. Otherwise, I did peep a ton of cute, male models.

After the signing and dinner at the Standard, Miami Beach seemed a royal-pain-in-the-ass-clusterfuck of invite-only, private parties that looked less than fab in my uninvited mind. We went by the Raleigh and as we were sipping on overpriced drinks, a crew of people ran by us down to the sand; we followed. Apparently, artist Terence Koh led the procession, and James Franco and Kalup Linzy were in the crowd of probably 60 people. Details are on the NYTimes blog.

After the festivities, we hit up the Deuce which was incredibly packed with what appeared to be New Yorkers. Note for next year - Basel loves the Deuce.

I spy James Franco?

It's stages, bro

2009-12-09T18:31:00.000-08:00

Probably the best party this Basel was Stages which took place on Biscayne and 8th Street, an address I had to arrive at before I could even imagine where it was located. But what a great space it was! The party was hosted by a slew of people, but specifically the Lance Armstrong Foundation. Stages is a reference to the stages of cancer, which Armstrong had and overcame. Then then he dumped his wife when she had it.

The artwork was top of the line - here's a link with more details.

That's me in front of a Richard Prince.

Shepard Fairey djed and free drinks and snacks abounded. The reason I was psyched to go was Bradford Cox from Deerhunter was performing as Atlas Sound. He is amazing. I was just so into it. I know it's not party music, but he's so talented.

When I went up to ask for a picture, he said to me, "I just met you 2 seconds ago, but I know I like you." Eat that, Matt Damon. What a sweetheart!

There's Laney, himself.

Here's my little blogger section:

There's Superbee and below I saw Rydel from Miami Bike Scene standing behind an arty, party bike, so I had to take a pic since it seemed appropriate.

No, Nothing, NADA

2009-12-09T18:19:00.000-08:00

The pickles were my favorite thing at NADA. Pickles, mmmmm.

This is on my X-mas list, boys. Keep it in mind.

2020 Gallery representing Miami

If you know me, you know the saying I live by is, "Taco Bell, you are my boyfriend."

These were amazing. They're done by Luke Butler who paints scenes from Star Trek when bad shit's happening. I thought they were funny, but apparently, they're supposed to be kind of sad.

This was my second favorite.

Going all around, bro

2009-12-09T18:05:00.000-08:00

My best friend flew in from London and, of course, his flight was delayed. By the time we reached the beach, we had missed the Vernissage (this is like my third time I've attempted to attend and did not make it).

The Art Center had a really great opening, packed with people and the work was mostly influenced by street and graffiti art. It's still up, go check it out.

There were no containers this year, which wasn't entirely surprising because last year kind of sucked. They did have free bbq, expensive drinks and this huge installation which was relatively boring, but neat enough as it looked like a strange, glowing village.

The Bass was happening, and although this exhibition went up about a month back, it's a goody!

As usual, we went by the Raleigh for the private Deitch party, but this is the first year I didn't bother sneaking past the bouncer to get to the tables. I think this was probably because there were half as many tables as last year and the people actually stayed at them throughout the concert. Usually they leave and we can sit at their tables and drink their leftovers. Proof of a sour economy, I suppose. Santigold performed and I thought it was a visually interesting experience. It was a little bit of a snooze only because we were sober and it was the hottest most humid night I've had in Miami, maybe ever. She had these two synchronized dancers in MC Hammer garb that stopped for extended periods and then started dancing again at the same time without looking at each other.

In order to end the night, we hit up PS14, which had been "transformed" into Max Fish, the LES bar. I thought it looked really good inside, a lot like Max Fish, but we went the next night too, and it was packed, slow and there was no dancing. They had laid back musical acts inside, and no music at all out back, except what was blaring over the wall from Vagabond. Either way, it was a good place to run into friends.

These people started with their fire throwing and everyone expressed a fear of getting burnt. But, of course, I wasn't scared, even when the flames from the baton landed at my foot. I didn't tip them because they almost seared me. They understood.

Basel, bro: day 1

2009-12-09T17:32:00.000-08:00

Since this is essentially a journal for me, I have taken my sweet time to put up my Basel pictures and such. I also finally started a full-time job (yay!), so I had to focus on waking up early this week, which means going to bed before the time of my peak productivity.

I had a fun, but not insane, Art Basel this year and I would say that I saw more art last week than any one person should experience in about five years. Tuesday was sort of the busiest night. I started at Art Miami where they were handing out cotton candy (above), which is all the craze these days, but I can't have more than a few licks. I ended up in the Design District most of the night. At Exhibit 101, they had a hallway made of some sort of tarp and video work tucked into corners of the material. A photo shoot was taking place where the ladies were clothed in suits that looked like naked ladies' bodies. I don't have much to say about that, except the pictures turned out pretty nice despite the trite concept, and there was free Grey Goose with organic Arizona iced tea. Not a tasty combo.

The Moore Space was transformed into some sort of high end boutique which featured a Fendi bike and this furry Fendi guitar. I didn't leave coveting anything, but I did leave with quite a buzz. There were a few cute waiters who provided endless, full wine glasses of champagne.

We wandered about and went to the Friends With You store which was in the Buena Vista Building. I hope it stays open in that space. We wandered across the street to check out the David LaChapelle opening. Forgettable.

The Perrotin Gallery, which had been rumored to have closed, was open and, once again, in full-fun effect. Packed with Frenchies and locals, this is such a Basel highlight. Last year I tried to hook Pharell up with some friends, but this year, I left him be. We danced, we spilt red wine on my Opening Ceremony shirt (thanks Dylan!) and then we chatted and danced again.

After all of that madness, it was clear I was not driving home. We did manage to make it to Churchill's where we saw Kreamy 'Lectric Santa perform. Back in town after years away, now currently settled in San Francisco, this classic Miami, rock band really made everyone feel good. I have to say, what a great time and a wonderful set. It was Churchill's at it's finest.

Bro, Basel is Craaaaazzzzy, Bro

2009-11-30T21:08:00.000-08:00

The madness returns.

It's the first week in December and Miami will again be the coolest city in the world for the next few days, all thanks to Art Basel Miami Beach. The mere thought makes me sigh with excitement and also makes me nail bite at the prospect of that much art and Grolsch in one city. Sigh.

I can't tell you what to do for Art Basel, because I don't necessarily know you. However, I can post a few things that I've found that sound like fun to me. Interview Magazine has some good suggestions, too.

Tuesday night will be the big night for locals. Most out-of-towners don't show up until Wednesday, so enjoy this day of private and public events with friends. There's the MOCA opening, which is aligned with Vanity Fair. The after party is at the Gansevoort. The Friends With You party takes place Tuesday from 6-10pm at 3930 NE 2nd Ave, Suite 202. Make sure to end your night at Churchill's where many Miami legends will pump out some worthy music, including such performers as Kreamy 'Lectric Santa and Dino Felipe.

OHWOW will have a busy year, hosting many of what sound like the best Basel shows and parties. First of all, on Tuesday, they're opening up a Max Fish (a quaint LES bar where Team Tracy has kicked ass at pool) at the former PS14 (RIP) space. Neat, I think! It'll be open till 4am each night and the line up looks like this: Wed -IUD, Silkflowers, Animals of the Arctic; Thurs - Barr, Mike Bones, Wilder Zoby (Chin Chin), Jaccuzzi Boys; Fri - Gang Gang Dance, Endless Boogie, Teepee; Sat - ?.

At the traditional OHWOW space, Dark Night of the Soul is a collaboration between Danger Mouse and Sparklehorse with visuals by David Lynch. Most awesomely though, Atlas Sound will be performing Thursday at Stages, an event that will raise funds for Lance Armstrong's foundation. It'll be at 888 Biscayne. This is so freaking awesome, I peed a little when I heard. Last year we got Panda Bear and now Atlas sound. Check out the song they made together and love it all the way: Walkabout.

I think this is all I have the energy for right now. Remember, you cannot see or do everything, so ask your friends where they have work up and check it the fuck out.

Miami, Bro Loves Borscht

2009-11-29T11:13:00.000-08:00

Under the indoor twinkling stars of the Gusman Center in Downtown Miami, the Borscht Film Festival managed to do the almost impossible. A full theater sat waiting over an hour to watch two and a half hours of homemade, independent films. Although the crowd was restless in waiting for the films to begin, they all managed to hang in there and suck down numerous $5 rum and Jupinas. In typical grassroots style, the projector at the Gusman wasn't working. As another projector was rushed downtown, musical acts and comedians, both from the audience and what appeared to be preplanned performances, entertained. Luckily, it sufficed for people like me, compulsively late and then inappropriately impatient, people who, surprisingly, arrived on time for the first times in their lives.

There were so many little things about this event that just radiated love for Miami. Although most of us grow up wishing we were somewhere else, we are still truly dedicated to this sometimes lame, mostly strange, very non-traditional American city. Our humor and perspective is so unique. Miamians are easily amused; we love to laugh. Each film made a nod to our hometown in a way we, the audience, could appreciate, and Miami, bro loved it.

The screening began with independently produced shorts chosen from community submissions. The video for Miami's own thoughtful but danceable group, Afrobeta's "Land of Lost Lovers," was sexy and cute. I thought the most notable of these films was Oda a la Pina, which takes place in Cuba, was in Spanish without subtitles and features a woman dressed as a pineapple. Even with the language barrier, it was a beautiful, poetic tale, conveyed visually with humor and compassion. Another well done short, Waking Olguita, takes place in Puerto Rico and features a slutty but nice exchange student who lightens up the life of her old lady, host mother.

Nothing pleased me more than the shot of the street on which I live in The Rise of Panic Bomber. This short fully grabbed the attention and laughter of the audience through humorous quips and shots of the downtown areas we live in and know so well. It was the creation of Andrew Hevia, who is one of the festival's main organizers and whom I've known since he was wee lad. I was also tickled when I saw one of my high school english teachers, Sandra (Doc) Riley in the slow but important documentary on the Miami Circle.

This year the Borscht received funding from the Miami World Cinema Center and the Downtown Development Authority to commission five feature films. I would say my favorites included Velvet, which, although it was shot in the Design District, could be shown anywhere and enjoyed by any audience. The biggest crowd pleaser and the feature that most closely reflected my experience of growing up, was an animated short, "Xemoland," which took place in Key Biscayne. I know must of us didn't grow up as Key rats, but the little details brought me back to my youth. For instance, the OP logo on the main character's shirt, the Goo poster on his brother's wall, the nuclear holocaust image from T2 and most importantly, Riviera Cinema. I worked at Riviera for 2 years in high school and I happened to be sitting next to one of my oldest friends who worked there with me, so, if you heard someone shout out for Rivera, that was me.

If you've grown up in Miami, part of you never leaves. Maybe you're always late, or you're a shitty driver, but you're probably also the best dancer at whatever white-bred party you're at, and definitely, you know how to have a good time and laugh even when a hurricane blows through town. The Borscht Film Festival highlighted all those regional quirks we hold dear and which sometimes hold us hostage. I hope they maintain all the community support for next year and at least double their funding. If you helped out with this event, Miami, bro wants to say to you, bravo and que bueno!

Here is what I wrote pre-fest.

Here's my roomie, Jessica Gross, doing some off the cuff ass kicking comedy.

I didn't take many pics, but aren't Dylan and Kizzy's sweaters adorable? I barked at them to pose, hence Kizzy's face of horror.

These 2 are from the Oolite Visual Arts Showcase.

Borscht, bro

2009-11-27T09:30:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to post this before I forget. The Borscht film fest showcases local, talented filmmakers. I'll be writing more later, but I just wanted to remind y'all. It's free and well funded this year, thanks to my friend Amanda.

Here's my writeup on the Oolite Visual Arts Showcase taking place before, during and after the film fest.

I saw the Fantastic Mr. Fox, and you probably didn't

2009-11-25T12:24:00.000-08:00

Last night, I ventured out into the darkness for the midnight preview of Wes Anderson's newest movie, The Fantastic Mr. Fox. The internet buzz on this movie began many months ago and considering that this movie is just being released now in the US, the teaser time was a bit extended.

Everyone seems a little excited to see the movie, animators and fans of Anderson. This is 20th Century Fox's first feature in stop-motion animation. You may ask, how was it?? Here's the catch, the fire alarm went off about 15 minutes before the film ended. My title then isn't 100% true. We were ushered outside and I didn't catch the end. How can I possibly make a claim about a movie if I haven't seen in full? I can't, but I will make a few observations here which you can take or shove.

Even though this film is based on a Roald Dahl book, it's been modified/personalized enough to resemble something Andersen himself would have written. There's the Mr. Fox character, the mischievous father figure, whose love of adventure eclipses all else, even his family's well-being (see Steve Zissou, Royal Tenenbaum, Herman Blume). Kylie, the opossum character, is the sidekick, similar to Pagoda in the Royal Tenenbaums, with his stout frame and his willingness to conspire. The mother, Felicity Fox, is mostly serene, detached, not without her redeeming qualities nor her flaws. There's the brotherly type rivalry with between the quirky Ash and his naturally adept at everything cousin Kristofferson.

Visually the movie is interesting with its tiny details and funny close up shots on the animals' faces. The muted colors create a sort of timelessness. The foxes are just so darn cute. Maybe it's the fact that they're fuzzy little bastards use the word, "cuss" instead of actually cursing, but Anderson's characters are infinitely more likable when they're only voices and not entire human beings. All in all, I think you're basically a black hole of misery if you don't enjoy this film at all.

p.s. other things I didn't mention. The theater was empty. We were the only 2 in there and then a few others showed up at midnight, making a total audience of 8 people. Only in Miami.

The other thing - I appreciated that one of the evil farmers in the movie lived off of only yummy cider. I love cider. Cider, mmmmmm...

A bro's Christmas gift ideas

2009-11-23T20:15:00.000-08:00

I usually have to think things over long and hard before I spread the word on cool junk I've found on the internet. I think it over and then over again and then I don't share. It is, though, the Christmas season, and no matter how much I actually want to buy everything for myself, I realize my bank account will not permit this fantasy to become a reality.

The newish and brilliant blog Regretsy has taken this idea of sharing internet finds to a new level. Please take it into consideration when writing your gift list.

For those of you who are penniless, I think the right thing to do is to Give-A-Tree Card for the Arbor Day Foundation. These adorable cards cost only a few bucks, but you get to give Mother

Earth back a tree or two. You've certainly used enough of them on your bottom over the years.

These next few suggestions are just off the Urban Outfitters site, which is not too creative on my part, I know. However, these are actually cute, little finds. This whale tail hook is like my dream stocking stuffer and the Slimer penny bank is incroyable (rad, bros).

Also worth mentioning are these headphone mitten type things and a 3D model of a swine's anatomy. It's kind of what Christmas is all about: Slimer and swine.

There are a ton of awesome gift possibilities on the Three Potato Four Shop.

You need an antique life preserver for a friend in St. Louis?

You've got it!

Have a hankering for an Indian Motorcycle trophy?

They have not only one, but a collection of these bad boys.

What's that, you say? A notebook with a skateboarding pigeon on it?

Oh, yes, it's there.

This site has hours of eye candy on it. Enjoy.

I know these booger candies are sold out on Blue Ribbon General Store site, but if you keep your fingers crossed, maybe they'll restock them.

A gal can dream!

Stay tuned for more ideas.

Slate asks the question of the year and it's about John Mayer

2009-11-21T12:12:00.001-08:00

I was talking on the phone with my brother Jimmy yesterday and we came to some conclusions on a few things. One of the things we discussed I've explored in more depth here, the other I need to research before I post anything on it, too controversial (think solutions for the the US deer problem).

Jimmy was reading Slate and happened to read aloud the title of the article, "Why Aren't John Mayer's Songs as Funny as John Mayer?" I thought this was one of the most insightful questions I've heard in quite awhile. Forget, "when will the recession end," or "why haven't we caught Osama Bin Laden," this is the kind of stuff that keeps American thinkers awake at night.

If you've ever watched TMZ, you know that John Mayer is really, very funny. He's got a good sense of humor, one that isn't tragically embarrassing or shameful. It's actually biting and forgiving, pushes boundaries, is self-depricating, in a backhanded way. He mocks himself while admiring his own status as a pop star. My brother, like many others out there, didn't know this interesting factoid about Johnny boy. I mean, why would he? He's not reading the gossip pages. I suppose this is a good lesson for him, considering he's stunted technologically, doesn't even check his e-mails regularly anymore (get it together, Jimbo).

Back to the question: why, John, why? No one's saying you need to be the next Weird Al Yankovich, but your music so so lacking in quality lyrics, it's shameful.

I don't want to just jump in on the complex and thoughtful conversation published on Slate, but I would like to note a few things. I think that if you have Mayer's natural gift of humor and his ability to gain a lot of attention singing and strumming guitar, you have some personal responsibility to marry these talents. If I were really friendly, thoughtful and kind, but also a waitress, a rude, cold waitress who was unpleasant and mean at work, I would be like John Mayer is now, subpar.

I disagree that his new single, "Who Says," is humorous. I think it's more honest that his other sappy singles, but truly, it just sounds to me like he's only trying to push the limits of his audience's sensibilities. If you watch the John Mayer TV show (1 and 2), he's doing the same thing there, busting the balls of the ladies who love him. It's sort of douchey, sort of some borderline personality shit. He's testing those who adore him, saying, "you like me? Well, how much do you like me? Do you like me even when I mock you and hate on you, reveal your lameness, your insecurities?" The sad part is that the young ladies will still like him and on the John Mayer TV show, they even believe that Richard Marx writes his songs. They don't even question him on it. It's funny to the rest of us, it's true, but let's just say, this is a women's studies dissertation just waiting to be written.

I guess this new single has a certain level of irony to it that could be seen as humorous. Thankfully, it is lacking in the extreme corniness of a tune like "No Such Thing," which happens to be a song that physically sickens me. I'm just glad this topic made it to Slate's front page because maybe it will encourage Mayer to reconsider singing the lyrics he's written on the toilet or while stoned and start to work on ones that are a little truer to the side of him that is actually likable to the rest of us.

Here is proof that John Mayer is funny:

Get on the bike, bro

2009-11-18T14:10:00.000-08:00

Do something good for once.

Here's more info on the event.

Check out the Cranksgiving Web site.

Meteors, Meteors Everywhere!

2009-11-18T00:03:00.000-08:00

Two of my lovely girlfriends came out with me to the Everglades to try and see the leonid meteor shower taking place right over our heads, right now. We drove down 8th Street, a bit past the lights. There wasn't much to see but some stars. We did manage to each catch at least a few glimpses falling meteors. A magical ending to a pretty darn good day.

Books are cool, bro.

2009-11-15T15:05:00.000-08:00

The Miami Book Fair International was the happening place to be this week. As witnessed in the photo above, it will make you do very, and I mean very, cool things. The Mystery Writers of America passed out fans with Edgar Allen Pow on them, and what a relief, because our lovely, little cold snap kind of vanished this afternoon.

I kicked off the week last Friday or Saturday with a reading by Barbara Kingsolver. In high school, we read Animal Dreams, which I have reread many times since 12th grade AP english lit. Although I went through an early Kingsolver ready frenzy in college, I never really got into her more recent epic novels. Maybe I was distracted, because they're international hits, and this means everyone else loves them. Anyway, one of her more recent books, Animal, Vegetable, Miracle, documents her and her family's year of living off of local produce and their own little plot of heaven in Appalachia. She's not only a brilliant author, Kingsolver is an extremely interesting person and a great reader. When she signed my book, I actually became starstruck and stuttered my way through telling her my favorite book and about a mutual family of friends we share. So neat.

Though there was no Antiquarian Annex this year, the booksellers with the good oldies were situated in a tight little group by the entrance. There were some interesting things to flip through.

Please, someone tell me that they have read this book and that it was wonderful.

This is my friend Hillary. She's wearing a limited edition A Walk in the Woods backpack. Not sure if you know how extremely awesome Bill Bryson's book is, but it is a combination of the funniest and most interesting book ever. If I could date this book, I would.

Headz is a novel for music lovers, and The Jewish Lady, the Black Man and the Road Trip, is for black men and Jewish ladies.

Here are the McSweeney's people. The guy on the left and the chick in the middle were pleasant enough to bargain with me on a book. It looks like it'll take me an hour to read, so I thought it should be more inexpensive. They didn't agree.

These 2 dudes had long hair and tons of style. Yes, these are dudes. A pink french braid? I think this will rule my fashion world for the next few weeks.

Poetry is making a comeback in the 305. You may occasionally catch the Poetry Depot typing away at art walk, tailoring poems to your liking. They also have Five Cent Journal an anthology of local poets. Google it.

I also found some guy who writes road trip/travel guides, American Auto Trails. I want to buy some when I finally make some cash.

The Books and Books, pre-fair teaser, John Irving:

Music and fashion, bro.

2009-11-12T09:32:00.000-08:00

Clearly, directly influenced by my last post regarding both Sonic Youth and a top 12, Criterion's newsletter went out yesterday with a link to Sonic Youth's top 12 favorite Criterion Collection films.

*****

Artist Caroline Hwang, whom I've had the pleasure of spending some time with over the years, was recently featured on the Yves Saint Laurent Parisienne blog. As I looked through the beautiful pictures, I quickly noticed that the majority of recent content is about the our magic city, Miami. How majorly awesome that the people of YSL feel that Miami has what it takes to make it big. I always knew we were a cute city, not so fashionable all the time, but this demonstrates progress. We're making strides. We're almost big time!

Books and Books is featured, which gives me a thrill (the Book Fair is this week-go hear some authors and read something on paper for a change), and so is A La Folie, the yummy creperie on Espanola Way.

Welcome to Miami, YSL! We're all sun and fun here. Sun and fun.

He Crazy

2009-11-10T13:44:00.000-08:00

I found this on White Lightning.

I can't even begin to explain how this brings me back. It's not like I'm Kim Gordon or anything, but one 0f the highlights of my high school trips to NYC was going to X-Girl and X-Large. X-Girl is/was Kim Gordon of Sonic Youth's line where all the clothes are engineered for miniature, slender or Asian women. X-Large was the Beastie Boys store nearby. A few years ago, I bought my favorite jeans at the X-Girl in LA, but I think it was on the way out and is now closed.

The clothes themselves weren't what was actually cool. It was the whole idea that your favorite musicians made clothes you could afford. You could wear their gear of your idols, and it made you feel closer to being a part of the music they made, the image they portrayed. I loved Sonic Youth when I was in middle school, which was, sadly, before 1994, so the whole visit to the store was a thrill. With time, X-Girl clothes became much more stylish than this. It's sort of a sorry representation of what the era and X-Girl was all about. Anyway, I was excited to see this.

*******

I love Chuck Klosterman. I'm not like in love with him, and I mean, it's not like I've read every single thing he's written. I admit I hit a wall reading Fargo Rock City, but I loved Killing Yourself to Live. I think he's a personality genius.

Flavorpill has a post listing his top 12 albums that'll kick writer's block. Given the inconsistent blogging I've done this year, I feel I may need that inspiration.

Posting this just in case you do too.

******

One last thing:

Precious.

Congrats to my bro and bros.

2009-11-10T10:30:00.000-08:00

I was jetsetting 2 weeks back, not for fun in the sun (though I did manage to get some in), but for the weddings of my little brother and one of my oldest and dearest girlfriends.

Jimmy, my brother, married Leah in DC and the following weekend, Stephanie married Flo in Los Angeles. Both weddings were beautiful and most importantly, very, very fun! Whereas I end up dancing to Robin S at gay clubs worldwide, I got to get low to Debbie Deb at 2 weddings, at both ends of the nation. You can take the bros out of Miami, but you can't take the Miami out of the bros.

In DC, it was so amazing to catch up with my family and old friends all at once. I loved having all my aunts and uncles and many of my cousins, Eddie (who flew in from London for 2 days), Liza and Kevin (from New York for 1 day!) all in one place to celebrate. It was so awesome caching up with Steph and Flo's friends, meeting new ones and bringing Miami to LA. I couldn't have seen more people I loved or met more interesting people in one week, short of getting married myself.

I wanted to write some sort of beautiful, sweeping congratulatory toast to the two wonderful couples, but I feel incredibly insecure doing so. I guess I could just say that it's rare to see couples more devoted to each other than these two. Both couples are best friends with their partners, they love and respect each other in all things. I think that no matter what, these bastards love the crap out of each other 'til the end and will be committed to making things work - and that is what marriage is all about.

Even though the journey around the country was exhausting for me, I was honored to attend the celebration of two unions that, I believe, are solid and enduring.

Halloween 2009

2009-11-09T11:18:00.001-08:00

Stevie Nicks playing my jukebox

Kim from Housewives was at my house - Tardy for the Party

Lil' JonBenet Ramsey and MC Hammer

A tall glass of water and an alka seltzer for your belly

One hot piece of ass

Roy and Leela

Just a Power Ranger on a rainy day

Diego as a mummy

Poor taste

Alvaro and Jen working the dead surfer/snorkeler look

What's up in Miami right this very second, well maybe in a few seconds, or days...

2009-11-05T08:18:00.000-08:00

I keep starting blogs and not finishing them. Right now I'm going to attempt to write something coherent and publish it. Attempt.

So, tonight, there's an art opening called 305//Neon Life for Francesco LoCastro at Kidrobot. It starts at 6 p.m. and Jose El Rey will be the DJ for the event. I guess LoCastro's show is about the 305, as Miami lovers, it might be neat to check out. I don't understand why Kidrobot doesn't have more events like this. I mean, maybe I'm just out of the loop and they do all the time, but isn't it just the perfect nerd or wannabe nerd gathering spot? They always can bring out a crowd. Some new Japanese toy that literally looks like my ass comes out there's a line around the block. I don't understand, but I get it.

Also, tonight at Electric Pickle, there's a rockabilly thing going on. Not 100% sure about this, but I'm going to swing by. I hear karaoke Miami is making people sing at Ecco Lounge on Thursdays. It's the new restaurant/bar that I haven't been to, but which is owned by the Poplife/PS14 folks. Now I must go, because I am a karaoke fanatic. Neck Face is signing books at OHWOW tonight too, 8 p.m., if you're interested.

Friday night, I think there's an opening at Spinello Gallery, called Littlest Sister, at 7 p.m. The roster is long, very long. You're bound to know someone showing.

On Saturday, Justin Long's show at 20/20 is closing. I'm not sure there'll be oysters this time, but there will be Justin, and that's good enough for me.

Also, there's the Sleepless Nights thing on Miami Beach. I know this event started off weak a few years back, but I have high hopes for it this year. Definitely stop by the Bass Art Museum. Christy Gast will be performing at 9 p.m. and I am saying - go, so go. Also, my buddy Carlos told me he made these gigantic Nirvana tee-shirts that'll be on display there too. The whole thing sounds awesome. Swing by the Art Center to say hi to me on your way down Lincoln.

That's it, I'm publishing this shit right now. Whew. I have almost nothing to do all day, and I manage to get nothing at all done. It's fascinating. Have a good weekend, bro.

Happy Halloween, bros.

2009-10-31T12:17:00.000-07:00

Click here for the photoshopped animals - not terribly interesting, but the chimp/MJ is disturbing and Jesus cat is funny.

'Tis my favorite holiday once again! I've been planning my "disguise" for almost a year now -- I'm nuts, I know. However, I only began the construction of my costume two days back and am only actually whipping out the glue gun today. Wish me well. If you see me tonight, just know that my costume is interactive, so please feel free to pick a song and see what happens.

As far as events go, I'll probably be keepin' it cheap at the house and then to OHWOW for a bit. Neck Face, the graffiti guy whose name is tagged all over NYC has a show up, and it's free, so yeah. There's a Gen Art event at the Awarehouse, but it costs $20 and I am poor as dirt, so unless someone wants to let me in for free, I won't be doing that. Busy P will be at Poplife tonight, go for a chance to sweat your costume off.

Well, maybe I'll see you later, maybe I won't. Either way, I'm warming up my vocals and wishing you all a happy Halloween!

Another One Bites the Dust - PS14

2009-10-28T13:37:00.000-07:00

OK, so tonight is the final party at PS14! I have had so many great, boring and terrible times there that I must say, I'm a bit sad it's over. I wrote a little something on NBC about it, but I thought I'd share some more personal experiences, blog-style.

I remember a time when I was spending like 5 out of 7 days a week sitting by the pool table, hovering out back or dancing a bit. I guess I was really bored with my life in general, but my friends were there, so I had to go! The casual feel made it easy to show up wearing anything at anytime. The same awesome people were always working there, ready with hugs and love.

There's something that's always been very real about PS. It's got a mini-club edge, though not obnoxious or flashy. The atmosphere is also not that of a boring, flavorless bar (think not Titanic). You could catch talented live musicians performing in an intimate setting and still have room to dance, mosh or loiter. Both MIA and Ariel Pink hung out there after their Miami shows, sort of local glam.

Sometimes it was fun to hang out and sometimes it was torture. In traditional So. Fla style, PS was never a stranger to drama. I've gotten into plenty of arguments there, some valid (with nasty people), others from heartbreak (shitty exes) and then there are the ones I excuse to the exuberance of drinking. I've thrown things, pool cues, drinks. I've cried there. Once, after eating a bad burger, I even threw up in the sink. Oh, nostalgia! Mostly though, I chatted with friends and I spent a lot of time hugging. Hugging and dancing, both were staples for me at PS.

The sucky thing is that, like all things in Miami, people lose interest in what works and want to try new things that probably don't work as well. I just wanted to say that Miami won't be the same without you, PS 14. It's been fun.

Lookout Tuesday, bro

2009-10-27T12:38:00.000-07:00

What is this? Debbie Deb performing tonight at the Delano? I just over-danced to "When I Hear Music" at two weddings, one in DC the other in LA. She bridges the east coast/west coast divide and will hopefully be heard at many events for years to come.

Weirds and Weirders

2009-10-27T09:28:00.000-07:00

Tonight, Night of the Weirds is moving over to the American Legion on 64th St off Biscayne. I wrote up something here. My friend and former roomie Nathan (Stickyrice) mentioned that the Legion is like the new Polish American Club, and I thought, how accurate. Now the Legion just has to start pulling in some national acts like Tortoise or whatever the '09 version of Tortoise might be. I'm not that hip.

I've already written about how much I love this night. I think it makes me happy because it feels like there's an actual underground scene here in Miami. I mean, I'm sure there are groups of friends doing shit that feels underground or whatever, but this is a nebulous group of people, many who've been making music locally for many years, who perform as a community of different looks and sounds. Something cohesive but not consisting of inside jokes and exclusivity. Me likey.

Oh, and what is this? I heard that the ever mighty John Irving will be speaking at the Biltmore Hotel this Friday, merci a Books and Books!!!???

I must attend.

Until I Find You is by far the longest book I've ever read and possibly one of my favorite first 600 out of like 900 pages of any book ever. I tried to finish A Prayer for Owen Meany when I was 11, but I didn't. I had to ask my aunt what happened in the end. I obviously only really enjoyed the bizarre and perverted parts. I had to look up one word for every 200 I read. I got through an impressive 300 or so pages. I mean, I was eleven. Forgive me.

OMG, PS14, bro!

2009-10-25T22:21:00.000-07:00

I didn't know PS14 was closing! How terrible! So sad.

I had so many good and bad times at PS, it'll be hard to say goodbye.

I'll probably be writing more about this later.

Here's some info for now.

Pot, bro!

2009-10-19T11:51:00.000-07:00

For users and dealers of medical marijuana, good news, you may smoke and sell as you please! Apparently the DOJ is getting off of your ass, and just letting YOU do your thing.

With all the Obama drama, doubts and questions about the administration, it's hard to see what's really going on. It's good to see some things are on track and moving in the right direction.

oops and stuff

2009-10-18T17:10:00.000-07:00

I totally suck.

I didn't post this before, because I'm wedding it up this week, but you all should go down and check out Justin's art, if you can. His website is fun to look at, too.

Apparently Kiss is going to be here on Thursday. Is this true?

Leaving town, a neurotic rant

2009-10-13T22:39:00.000-07:00

I am, in fact, heading out of town. Don't get too excited at my absence. I'm heading to Washington DC first, for my brother's wedding, and then straight out to Los Angeles for the uniting of my friends Stephanie and Flo.

Yes, this will be a long trek. It's always difficult to reconcile the mixed feelings traveling stirs up. It's an excruciatingly exciting experience. It's excruciating because of the tension created by leaving behind my home and especially leaving behind my cat (I just bought cat food and wine at Walgreens at midnight - feel free to mock away). My family's sixteen year old dog and her younger companion will be kept by friends and strangers. All I can think about is their fates. I just left a long contact list for my massive feline, in case he gets lonely. I wonder if I ever have children, will they ever leave my side?

The excruciating part of the experience is the anxiety that accompanies the leaving behind of your responsibilities and obligations. Anxiety is a cruel thing that creeps and strangles. I may start thinking casually about all the miles I'll be trapped in the cabin of an airplane over the next two weeks, but eventually that casual thought can turn into an all out hideous mental scenario that involves actual hyperventilation and tears.

The exciting part about leaving town includes the stuff optimists and people who cruise speak of. You get to get "away from it all." It's time to "focus on yourself" or "enjoy life." Of course, these are elements of the travel experience, but when I vacation, I don't enjoy downtime too much, I don't like to get too far away from a drug store, and I am focused on getting as much adventure and friend time out of each excursion. So, not very relaxing, but exciting in the best way possible. Enriching.

For instance, I'm leaving town to celebrate the union of four people to whom I am close. But weddings are excruciating in many ways, with their obligatory meetings and dinners, and the big day itself, so it takes extra effort to find time to spend quality with your friends and family and to make the experience exciting. While in DC, I'll be bombarded with family, and though I wanted to take a side trip to Harper's Ferry, I may not be able to. On the other hand, I'll be making a visit to Joshua Tree to recoup before flying home. Anyway, it'll be nice to see the whole crew and hopefully the reality won't be as stressful as it's looking in my mind.

Always something, bro

2009-10-09T18:40:00.000-07:00

So, I went down to see a band just signed to Matador the other night, Harlem, at Sweat. Apparently the AC went kaput and the concert was moved to Churchill's. You will hear no complaints from me on that, I love my pitchers of Strongbow.

The problem was that I think I missed the band's performance, because I was doing research on my next greatest idea that in the light of day, and without the haze of alcohol, isn't quite that brilliant. It's not really brilliant at all. Anyway. I did hear some music that was possibly the band, and it was good. The Jacuzzi Boys are sounding a little more refined, a little more Zeppelin, a little less Seeds. I honestly had a great time, but I'm fully blaming that on the dark and stormys I finally managed to make at home and that one delicious Jameson shot I gulped down at the bar. Sure I had five minutes of intense stomach pain after that gulp, but it was worth it.

Excuses, bro

2009-09-28T16:42:00.000-07:00

I've been bad about posting lately. I've been preparing the music and other such things for my brother's upcoming wedding in DC. Excuses, excuses. Those I like. Here are a few things that I've been meaning to post about.

The Burning Hand of Friendship is a new blog by Alex Caso, the DJ who is also known as Cookieheadz and is always known as one of the coolest guys around. Ever.

Alex isn't just a knower of all music, he's also a really smart dude about other things that matter. I mean, I think he's a little bit of a libertarian but it's forgivable since he knows his shit. Please leave him comments on his controversial posts.

Christy Gast is a local artist and new friend who moved to Miami not so long ago. I met her through one of my best buddies, Stephanie Hutin. They toured together with the Circus of the Performative Object, out of Gainesville, years back. Artlurker did a nice write up on Christy's work, which is worth reading.

I personally really appreciate Christy's aesthetic. Much of the work I saw takes place in spaces that are remote, haunting and beautiful, like Utah's Canyonlands. All of it is well conceived and visually interesting. Check out the Projects tab on her website. I guarantee you'll be impressed. I love how she's so thoughtful and adventurous, keeping the visual aspects vivid and powerful whether in her performances, sculptures or videos. Next month she'll be showing alongside other artists at the Bass Museum in a show called Night Shift. Should be very neat.

Metallica last Thursday: Lately every band I've ever wanted to see growing up has come around and has cost entirely too much. By lately, I mean since I lost my full time job. I missed the Boss a few weeks back, then Dolly and Janet Jackson came the end of last year. I'm just a little heartbroken about all of this and wanted to complain.

Art walk is on Saturday - I think I'll be avoiding it.

The TM Sisters are having a closing and fellow blogger Swampstyle will be having an opening.

Before the art stuff, catch Pure Imagination at Sweat.

Miami Summers are Long

2009-09-27T15:12:00.000-07:00

Death to the Sun, an all-day, all-night festival at the American Legion, took place last Saturday. It was a great combination of cheap drinks, good music and neat people. I know, I will be criticized for having fun, but I actually did have a really good time with quite a few people that don't suck.

I showed up at about 10:30 and stayed until 2 or something. I caught a decent buzz for under $20. I think that since the whole affair was spread over such a long time, it was hard to know when the bands were playing and they were spread out, so I really only saw three acts, but there were DJs too, so music was constant.

The band Raja Khan (above) had a good sound with a rockin' sax player and a good look with a sequined singer. I think they're playing again at Churchill's on Wednesday. Thanks to Nick for giving me a heads up.

Aiden Dillard, the director and artist (Death Print), walked around in a gold lame thong, mildly harassing people who were milling about. Diego from the Jacuzzi Boys got a haircut (below) and so I was asked to document. Please freely comment any of your feelings about the new 'do. I think it takes 10 years off of his age. In other words, I think it makes him look 12, but in a good way! Diego's actually one stylish dude, so I wouldn't be surprised if every wannabe in town jumped on the middle school hair bandwagon by next week.

The bartenders were hugely overwhelmed, so it was a mission and a half (bro) to get a beer, so I wisely double fisted. Someone (lovely) suggested opening the sliding doors between the bar area and the room where the band was playing so more people could see the performers. Maybe for next time. The whole event may become a monthly affair at the Legion, which I'm all for. I think they did a wonderful job promoting and executing the event. Bravo.

There was a herd of folks dressed as either British bobbies or Harry Potter who apparently moved from a b-day party over to the Legion. They brought with them this sort of Medieval, mixed race, mariachi band (above). Man, there is nothing that gets my tears moving faster than some mariachi motherfunkers and these guys were great. So whose ever birthday it was, thanks and happy, happy to you.

SKEE BALL!

2009-09-27T14:50:00.000-07:00

If you see Benton, you should ask him about his new skee ball arcade. I'm not sure he'll lend it out, but I think it's worth asking about. I mean, look at it, it's brilliant and amazing. Justin Long and Meatball made this masterpiece at his request and presented it at No Brainer, his Thursday night PS14 party.

I played a bit and it really works, I mean, I think the one on the right was easier to get a ball in than the one on the left, but whatever. No one cares about my experience. You may think throwing balls after taking tequila shots and drinking 10 cans of Tecate is a bad idea, but playing actually went very smoothly. It's hard to beat up two boxes of wood.

Classic, bro

2009-09-27T14:25:00.000-07:00

I'm just taking some time to upload a bunch of untimely pictures. These are from the Future Classics Festival. It took place a few weeks ago. Here's what I wrote about it.

I liked how they used the palette of the gay flag to light the stage (above).

Here's my friend Jorgie with some painted lady. Body painting makes me laugh.

I thought Juan's message was incredibly dirty, and basically brilliant. He was bartending.

And in closing, a half-pipe.

flying carpets, bro

2009-09-27T14:06:00.000-07:00

I made way over to the Art Center South Florida on Lincoln Road a week ago and I really enjoyed the show. The Flying Carpet consists of four works by husband and wife duo Pip and Duane Brant. If you know me, you know I love some embroidery and a lot of politics, and as you can see here, there's a little of both in the exhibition. There's Iraq on a flying carpet, and up there is a Black Hawk helicopter. Ah, stitching and war, makes me feel fuzzy inside.

Each work is interactive, at least I think they are. The grove of crocheted palm trees attached like marionettes to strings seems to be on a timer. The sewing machines are all instruments and you use the pedals to make some noise. I thought the whole thing was pretty neat. That's all I have to say.

bye bye, summer

2009-09-23T12:40:00.000-07:00

Something kinda really neat is happening this Saturday. Ricardo Guerrero formerly (I think formerly) of Animals of the Arctic is putting on an all day festival in celebration of the end of summer, Death to the Sun. It's rare we get to see so many awesome local performers in one place, most with decidedly different sounds.

The whole thing is starting really early by Miami standards or rather by anyone's party standards. One p.m. type of early. Bring things that will help you remain cool or dry. You can come naked with an umbrella, but you might want to wear a bikini for the slip 'n' slide and grab a towel. It's at the American Legion (64th, east of Biscayne), so parking is free, the beers will be $2 and booze $3.50.

Here's the lineup - enjoy!

2:00 Space Voodoo Crystal
2:40 Ouija
3:20 Curious Hair
4:00 Danny Denim
4:40 Little Beard
5:20 Nived-N-Hydro
6:00 Surfer Blood
6:40 Weird Aleister Crowley
7:20 Flux Forces
8:00 BFGF
8:40 Raja Khan
9:20 This Heart Electric
10:00 Teepee
10:40 Ice Cream
11:20 HaHaHelp!
12:00 Electric Bunnies
12:40 Dino Felipe

musics, bro

2009-09-21T15:26:00.000-07:00

Tuesday night the Jacuzzi Boys are playing at Sweat with Sonic Chicken 4 - another In The Red band. Since I couldn't make it to Gonerfest this year, this mini-show will do in place of the rad Memphis festival. I'm so disappointed I couldn't make it out there, but these guys will be performing if you make it out west for the fest.

Then there's the Miami Bass Warriors at Vagabond on Thursday and on Friday at the Vag, there's Panic Bomber - the COOLEST act in Miami right now. I stand by this claim, I love the music, the man, the act. So good.