Sunday, June 27, 2010

Miami, je t'aime

I haven't written on Miami, bro in a bit since I've been busy establishing a new website, The Heat Lightning, which I encourage you to read and enjoy. However, I wanted to address something someone said to me recently, and I thought this was the best place to bitch.

I was asked a question by a fairly recent Miami to New York transplant regarding my living situation. Out at a bar, the inquiry went something like this: "you're an intelligent person, can I ask you a question?" (Of course!, says me) "Why do you stay in Miami?"

I was sort of shocked, as anyone would be. It's like asking someone one of these questions: you're pretty, why do you have such short hair? You're not poor, why do drive a P.O.S. car? You're not a douchebag, so why do you live in Brooklyn? Doesn't the original question assume that no one intelligent stays in Miami? Are all the people who work, reproduce, grow old, fall in love, take jobs here, are all of them retards? Do they have no common sense? What's wrong with you? With me?

I answered kindly, since I am kind. Miami has a great burgeoning art scene, it's relaxing to live here, it's beautiful here... After a minute, I noted that living in New York was stressful for me, I felt always at the bottom of some pile of people who look better on paper. Since I'm honest, and honestly a bitch, I also I made sure to mention that New York isn't that cool anymore. It's not that edgy, and all in all, it's not for me.

It's hard to be nice when someone questions your life choices. It somewhat assumes theirs are the wisest. I believe that I live a way more interesting life in Miami than I would if I were running from the Subway to work to the bodega to the "next great" band concert to home to back again. I don't want to dis on New York. I love my New York friends, I love eating there, being there for a few days, but it's a hard lifestyle. You get to see your friends once a week if you're lucky. In Miami, I get to see my friends every single day of the week. You see more buildings that animals or plants. That was hard for me living in Manhattan or Brooklyn. It was isolating, and it's difficult to feel isolated, for me at least.

Today, I spent the most lovely day at the beach. The water was just warm enough, the sun and clouds were just so that everything looked clearer out there. The Atlantic's hues were more defined than usual. If I could take this day and pass it around, I feel it would be a lot less intelligent to leave Miami than to stay here. Everyone's priorities are different and it's not that I am completely without ambition. I just don't think New York's THE place to be. Tell me you're moving to Beirut and I'm impressed, but New York, here, please, take my yawn.

A few years ago, one of my best girl friends, who doesn't live in Miami, was casually discussing people, specifically what makes people interesting. And it was what they do, you know, what they're doing. It's not interesting just to live in an "interesting" place, but what you do in that place where you live that is impressive. Anyway, I think every place is interesting in its own way. Adventure is interesting. So are people who follow the unusual, who uncover new desires by following old ones. Those who move to Moab to collect rocks, live in a trailer in New Mexico making art, learn to drum in Morocco.

I am interested in enjoying that bit of life that's been given to me in a way that is peaceful and enriching through the senses in reference to the intellect. Smart people are pretty easy to come by and they are unimpressive if they're not good, giving, and growing. People living in New York are plentiful, but people living in New York that are rabidly interesting are equal in number to those living elsewhere the world that are as well. Maybe I seem like a slacker or complacent because I live here, but I love it here. It's not that I wouldn't move again, because I might, but while I'm here, I'm going to suck all the wonder from it. J'aime Miami, bro.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Saturday night's alright

If you're not kissing and hugging John Spain good-bye tonight, hit up Churchill's for what should be a good time.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

The Heat Lightning: for you to bookmark


I have been working on a new website which I hope you will all read much, much more frequently than you have read Miami, bro. It's not that I'm not grateful for your Miami, bro reading time, because I am (I luv u) but, a new site with more content will offer you more quality opportunities for laughing and crying (and snoozing).

The Heat Lightning is a collaborative project I'm working on with Alesh, which we will be launching today. Contributors will be some of the smarties we know from around this town, and around the world. We want to show the expanding universe how we think all the way down here in tropical SOFLA, and what we think about what is going on out there. Many of those writing for the website are from other cities around the country, but all of them (so far) have a perspective that is not without Miami sensibilities. We all read about what people are wearing and listening to in other cities, but what do people like here in our hometown?

Our critical, nagging voices will be heard!

The Heat Lighting is going to try to be funny most of the time. Major goals are to entertain, inform and amuse. If we fail at these things, leave us mean, hateful comments. Don't worry, we can take it. Just read regularly (please) and pass us along.

I'll continue to post here about Miami based events and stuff I'm up to, so it's all good (I knew you were super-duper concerned. No fear, my kitties). Miami will always be bro, and so will you.

Secrets, secrets are no fun

I've been keeping a secret from you. By tomorrow morning, I'll be ready to share it.
The past few weeks, I've donated my evenings to a little, big something that I hope will please you, so stay in touch!

Monday, May 3, 2010

Negligence, bro

Miami, bro is not ignoring you, but rather working on some future project that is certain to through and through please you in the future (unless you have a crush on blonde Erin from The City).

A few things I've been up to: I spent the work day in the Four Seasons residential tower. Nice looking pool! Wish I could have experienced it (insert sad, sobbing face here).

The Jacuzzi Boys show on Friday was outta hand. There were entirely too many people there, which is a good thing for them and for the bar. Although PS14 or Black Bar isn't as good a venue for mosh/dancing as Churchill's, it is still a pretty nice place to get all up near the stage and enjoy the show. They're going on tour to like every freaking city in the nation and if you're in those cities, check 'em out. Disregard the bloated belly and notice the adorable t-shirts. You need you one of them.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Conga Madness!

In a hyper-Miami move, last night 20 or so friends gathered at my house and we made our way from party to party, united as one, in the style of a conga line.
Tell me this isn't a brilliant performance, an expression of togetherness and delight, and I'll tell you you're wrong!

Happy birthday, Juan!

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

PBS: oh happy day!

I am unnaturally obsessed with PBS. When I turn on the TV, I automatically put on one of the two public channels Comcast provides (used to be three; I cried when Create was taken off the air). What can I say, I wear glasses and I like to learn.

Most of the time, I feel pretty good about this predilection, like when I catch an episode of the Jeremy Brett version of The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, or when I hear the gruff, but alluring, voice of Burt Wolf blaring from the box.

There are other times though, when I'm not thrilled about what's on, but I'll watch anyway. Like when Tavis Smiley is on or Charlie Rose is talking to someone really boring.

But then there are the instances when I find myself watching a show that I'd rather not. Take tonight, for instance. I sat down to browse the channels and write on Twitter. Like a true addict (of PBS and now Twitter), I hit up channel 17 first (no idea what was on), and then moved on to channel 2. Frontline was on, so I stopped and watched.

I thought to myself, audiences are always offered an informative, interesting program with Frontline. I'm going to hear an in-depth story about a real-life issue. I'm going to learn!

I didn't bother to remember that every time it's on, they're featuring something miserable... and today was no different.

I watched The Dancing Boys of Afghanistan. I learned about bacha bazi, the practice of buying, selling, raping, trading Afghani boys, and really, much, much more. We're talking super happy stuff. I mean, could I have honestly asked PBS for a more thrilling topic to lull me into a nightmarish sleep? Maybe if you threw a few puppies and baby kitties in there and then stepped on them.

Now, Independent Lens is on and I'm feeling sad and shitty all over again. They're talking about soil, and how we just LOVE destroying the earth! Couldn't they have just thrown on a cartoon? I love you PBS, I feel like I learn from you, but you turn me into such a miserable sack of shit sometimes. I just wish there was a happy edifying show on somewhere, right now. I have to wait until this weekend where I can bask in the glow of my happy PBS crew of lispy Rick Steves and thin-haired Lydia. Those are the guys who really understand my needs.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Pride and Sweat

So, folks, I went to Pride day on South Beach this Saturday. Even though I had a mean hangover, I got on my bike and rode my achy ass out to support equality and a little bit of tackiness. Above, for instance, those are pillows, in case you were wondering. As ridiculous as they are, they, in part, made my trip well worth the discomfort. It's not like I want one, but if there were one in my house, I wouldn't be sad about it.

After the gayness, I travelled back across the bay and hit up Sweatstock. Sweat Records hosted a more than adequate showcase of local bands. I missed the earlier sets, which included Raffa, Jacuzzi Boys, Panic Bomber and Animal Tropical, but I caught Otto and the headliner, LA duo No Age. Overall, really great time. Everyone seemed relaxed and social. The usual pretension was not present, as far as I could tell. It was tops. Excited about next year's festivities!

Here the lovely Jessica and I entertain two drag queens.
There was, of course, the requisite Madonna impersonator. Couldn't decide if she was a she or a he. (S)he looked very convincing. The backup dancers are shes.
The nice sized crowd

As you might be able to tell (though up for grabs with some of these kids) this, below, is Sweatstock, which also boasted a really nice sized crowd.
The kids got rowdy for No Age, but my age and my inability to enjoy life over my headache kept me from jumping in. I'll be honest, I didn't jump in because I was too sober. There, I said it. The truth hurts.
Looks fun though, right?

I caved - Twitter, bro

I finally joined Twitter. I fear this will be the downfall of Miami, bro, but I move forward bravely into the unknown.

For way too long, my friend Alesh has been using mind control to get me to tweet, and I successfully resisted! But, on this terribly rainy day, with nothing else going on, I caved. Hopefully this will not make me irrelevant and foolish, although, I fear I am both of those things already. So, I guess I mean, I hope this will not make me more irrelevant and foolish.

Wish me well as I move into the dark unknown of this ridiculous phenomenon.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Things That Scare Me, bro

No, this was not just an excuse to post a Neko Case song. Right now, there are at least two seriously frightening things going on in this or a nearby galaxy.

British airspace has been shut down thanks to ash from an Icelandic volcano. Great, shifting tectonic plates, real nice! Always starting trouble. It's probably a good time to bring out those SARS masks again, because the smoke is heading eastward, all psyched and ready to blanket northern Europe. Luckily the Continent isn't used to a ton of sunlight, so things should be pretty normal around there. I hope this bad boy clears up before July, because I'm already hitting Orbitz hard for a flight to jolly old England.

Even more terrifying are the radiowaves that something huge and frightening out in the universe has been spitting at us for over a year now. Scientists don't know what this mass is, but they've waited this long to publicize it and are still clueless, so that can't be good. The waves are moving at us at four times the speed of light. I can't conceptualize this, but in my head I envision an indifferent but hungry, burning, amorphous mass speeding across galaxies to devour Mother Earth, probably arriving in a few hours.
I'm blaming this space beast for my nightmares, minimal productivity, lack of exercise and general malcontent. Thanks almost-black hole for ruining my already mediocre life.