Sad state of affairs

I was just discussing with my brother what a solid all-around loser I am. 

He's  two years younger than I am,  chilling in Manhattan, going to see some Will Ferrell play and Madame Butterfly. "Well aren't you just livin' the life?" I lamented. Not jealous, since I know he spent a ton of time doing this same shit I'm doing, directionless. 

He likened me to the Dude, which appealed to me. I am a bit Lebowski in that I have nothing to do but drink and bowl. Live off of my government checks. 

When I was younger, I always shied away from competition. I know I have it in me, the desire to win, win, win. It comes out in scenarios involving  mostly bitches and dudes. I always stop though, right before I feel I might win or lose, I give up, I can't seal the deal. I get all fired up in the moment, and then when it comes to committing to loss or acquisition, I just give up. Stop caring. I am truly a loser. 

I went to Seven Seas for karaoke last night for a minute. I will always love it there. But last night, in my heavy self-hatred, I picked a Skid Row song that I could never sing; I'm not freaking Sebastian Bach, Broadway singer. I'm no-range me. As I was singing, all the loathing just consumed me. I almost said into the mike, "what am I DOING here? I am so fucking bored!" 

This sentiment was echoed today when I was at my mother's friend's office, putting addresses into a database to help her out. I seriously started crying. I am again out of work, goalless, bored out of my mind. I have so little going for me and sadly, no real vision of where I might want to go. 

At the same time I possess this sort of manic self-love where no one is good enough for me, no job appreciative enough. But to be quite honest, I am everything I want to be, in so many ways. I'm not one of those people who like to think they're too good for other people. No, I know what's good. And it's me, but I'm too much of a loser to prove it. So, there. Going nowhere. 

I guess this relates to the blog in that it clarifies why I am currently lacking enthusiasm and the desire to write. I have nothing nice to say. So I might just keep my sad trap shut. 

Slacking, yes.

So Miami, bro has kind of really had it with Miami. Like for realz, bro. I'm bored with myself and uncomfortable socializing. I know there's actually some cool shit going on around town, but I am not so motivated to go out out. I think it's the fact that I'm DEAD BROKE. It sort of takes the fun out of going out when I'm scavenging. When I was a wee lass, I didn't mind the poverty, but now that I'm at 30's doorstep, I think perhaps it's just pathetic. Feels that way anyway. 

I'm still here. I'm just not as enthusiastic about stuff. And beside that, I'm convinced I'm dying, but that's another blog altogether. 

Tonight, Carl Ferrari, an impossibly amazing Miami guitarist, will be performing at Kafa Kafe, 3535 NE 2nd Ave, 7-10. Eat Ethiopian(s) and just freaking relax. 

On a less miserable tip: 

Last weekend was fun. 

The Panic Bomber show was great at PS14, an engaging performance, good crowd, lots of energy. I'm glad I went!

I didn't go, but I heard the TM Sisters' opening was awesome and that they'll be having a closing in about 2 months. Mod'lone performed and I hear Maite played the bass, my roomie was very, very impressed! 

I went down to Sweat for the celebration of Judaism, but they were charging and I am without funds. Ended up at the Deuce instead. 

The Oscars were what they were. I was tickled that Sean Penn won, his speech was hopeful and I cried a little (wah). After, went swimming at the Standard, which was delightful. That piss warm water is my favorite place to swim other than the playa. It's like a huge chlorinated toilet, hot and welcoming. I love it. 

Stopped by Psychic Tuesdays at Bella Rose for Dino's b-day (happy birthday, Dino!). Freddie Nessi was spinning. The music was really, really great, all dark and moody. Me likey. Worth going back for la musica alone, though I would suggest a cocktail or two before heading there. Unfortunately, I had $.03 in my bank account, so I didn't stay long. Went by the Abbey, which has a lower credit card minimum (damn you cc minimum!), drank and proved to myself that I don't suck at darts. That's the good news though: the dart board is back at the Abbey! 

Brown rice, please

Thanks, Kira! This made my life worth living, this and your sweet Flickr comment. Hugs and kisses.

stuff on the horizon

Tomorrow: PS14, Otto has a new night and Panic Bomber (an awesome dude) will be making music and art with his body and lights. I heard his last performance at Vagabond was top notch, bro. 

Also, the TM Sisters have an opening at the Art and Culture Center of Hollywood, 1650 Harrison Street, Hollywood. The opening is from 6-9 p.m.

Saturday: TORCHE, Jacuzzi Boys and Electric Bunnies will be performing at Churchill's - a must. 

Also, at Sweat Records, they'll have a celebration of Judaism, Good for the Jews, with comedy and the best Japanese Jew EVER, Ravelstein, my love. Go Jews! 

Tuesday: Dino is celebrating his b-day at Psychic Tuesdays which I have been trying to get to, because I know it'll be good, but am so freaking lazy on Tuesdays, haven't done it yet. Bella Rose, 423 16th Street, Miami Beach.

March 7: King Khan and the Shrines at Back Door Bambi at Vagabond - awessssomme.

March 8: Girl Talk and Deerhunter at Culture Room. 

I hate you, bro, but I had a really good time.

The Hate Art Show, curated by Justin Long, was off the chain. I use this term because, don't you kind of hate when people say, "off the chain?" Anyway, it was a ton of fun and if you missed it, fuck you, no excuses. 

Every so often Meatball and Till would fire up their ass-kicking, noisy, smelly, shaking mattress box-looking machine, drawing in a crowd of swooning fans. Justin's dad was pouring heavy-handed drinks and the liquor flowed like water. Ahhh, an anomaly at art walk. 

If you came out though, thanks so much, I love you. Everyone was so nice at the opening, I almost shit myself. I thought there'd be some serious hating, but it was great the way the haters came together to bask in their collective hatred and make themselves safe from those who try and force us to "love" all the time. Fuck you guys. It's fine to be angry. Some people need to be hated. That's kind of what my embroidery was about. If you suck, you suck, and I HAVE to hate you. You deserve it. A couple of my friends let me know that they also hated the same people I hate, and it felt good to be supported in my flawless opinions on assholes worldwide.

There's going to be a closing, and I want to see all your ugly faces there. Seriously. 

Read more about the opening here. 

This was Meatball and Till Koerber's fun funfunfun piece. 
The hateful sketches on the wall were those of Dub Murla. I am totally crushing on the man-manatee.
Richard del Forn, who got stuck spending the 2009 inauguration with me. (I love you Rick! You're my favorite.)
A mini Isabel Moros-Rigau riding the art of Barrett Long. 

Confection was as sweet as... well, a confection?

Confection was bumping and if you missed it, you kind of suck. Just kidding, sort of. 

It took place at O.H.W.O.W. and featured art, edible sweets made by artists, beer and live music. 

Pres curated a well put together show with a sense of humor. This is evident in Hugo Montoya's piece, where he is pictured feminized by an erotic apron and where he displayed three very sexy people on three very sexy cakes, one of which was later molested by a tongue (below). 

Alex Caso, wearing his hair all nice and curly, with his band Waterford Landing, performed a sweet, dark set and then Dino and crew danced it out. A lot of fun. 

Down at the bottom is Justin Long's video "Croquetas," which was also showing at Confection. It is genius. Meatball looks like the ultimate pervert and croquetas are freaking delicious! I'm so glad created this homage to the yumminess that is creamed ham. 

Here's Jipsy's slideshow from the event on the New Times.

Croquetas from Justin Long on Vimeo.

Noise Conference!!! Mad fun, bro.

I managed to make it out to the International Noise Conference for two of the three days it was held at Churchill's. 

It was a particularly good year, I thought, since all the music was kept inside, which didn't do much for the aroma of the room, but kept the crowd together. 

This is one of the best events we have here in town. It brings us an element of people that aren't traditionally found hanging out around the Miami streets. People who wear the same shirt everyday of the conference, for instance. I did see this. People who like to experiment not only with their music, but with the olfactory systems of those around them. Admirably subversive.

There was the one guy wearing an Amoeba Music shirt, as is mandatory, I believe, for major Churchill's events. 

Believe it or not, I have seen some of the most daring outfits of my life at these things. Mostly young men dressed like Palm Beach granddads. They're inspirational. I really and not sarcastically would like to be as cool as they are. I salute you, dirty experimental boys. I love you. 

Here's Danny L and Marcos who played a well received, noisy set. 

Tonight

Don't forget to hate, bro

There will be booze, there will be entertainment. Come hate with the best of us motherfucking evil ass haters. 3841 NE 2nd Ave - entrance on 39th Street. Come around 8. 

radio stars, some real bro shit

I don't know much about two new radio stations here in Miami, but I know I love them.

The two I write of are 93.9 Move to the Music and 104.7, what I think is a pirated station, but correct me if I'm wrong. Both stations sort of repeat their sets again and again, but since the music they're playing are like total instant classics like JLo's If You Had My Love (93.9) and Warren G.'s Regulate (104.7), that's not a bad thing. 

They play a lot of gayness on 93.9, the sweet homo sounds of Justin Timberlake and even Robin S. (my hero). This would be what you might put on when heading someplace like Twist or Vagabond. The playlist is a gay boy's wet dream. Even the ones who pretend to only like hipster horseshit, I'm certain, have used some of these songs on a mixed tape at some point. 

104.7 is the perfect appetizer for a night on the Beach. They string together the most singalong-able hip hop you can think back upon. I can't find any web info, so you just have to go to your car, put on the radio and sit low in your seat, get your pipe out and enjoy. 

Weekends, last and next

I've been unavailable. I know and I'm sorry.

Last weekend, a few great things happened. I saw Synecdoche, New York at the Miami Beach Cinematheque and I went to the Tim and Eric show at Revolution. 

I want to encourage anyone and everyone to watch Synecdoche, NY, because, well, I thought it was the perfect movie. I know this is a huge claim, but let me tell you, I thought it was basically flawless. Charlie Kaufman wrote a script that allowed me to totally suspend any of my

 expectations. When watching a movie, I spend a large part of the time predicting exactly what's going to happen next. In life, sometimes it's nice to know you'll be protected tomorrow, but in film, it is just disappointing (Sex in the City movie - ugh). I was able to follow the absurd, abstract ideas throughout, and see past the immediate. It was fabulous. Only Charlie Kaufman can make a conversation between two actors talking to the two "real" people they're playing about the direction of the performance, make sense on every level. I can't say anything more without giving away the plot or outcome, and that would defeat my purpose. Love this film, love it. 

Tim and Eric were pretty hilarious live. I laughed the whole time, but the highlight was the diarrhea song, with them both clad in gold lame, skin tight, body stockings. Sexually and visually delightful. 

This upcoming weekend, I want to encourage you to stop by the International Noise Conference at Churchill's, starting Thursday. I love going. The smelly out-of-towners make me feel good about my funk, I love the energy and I enjoy the music. 

Friday night is Confection, which will be taking place at O.H.W.O.W, 3100 NW 7th Ave, featuring performances by Waterford Landing and Dino Felipe, and the work of the creme of Miami artistry. 

I know on Saturday, you'll be swinging by the Hate Art Show at 3841 NE 2nd Ave, Ste 103. It's good to hate on the day of love. Refreshing. 

Hate Show: Feb. 14

My friend Justin Long has curated an exhibit of haters, hatred and just good old fashioned hating. This such an important topic, so worthy of exploration, especially on Valentine's Day, probably the most hated holiday, other than Groundhog Day.

The brilliant thing about Justin is that he really gets to the heart of what things are all about. For instance, in exploring a topic such as hate, instead of going to artists that probably don't think much about hating in a genuine constant, obsessive way, he went straight to the source, and asked regular people, straight haters, like myself, to create something. I think that that is kind of the best idea I've heard in a long time. Honestly. Every art show has the same 20 people showing, over and over, and that's great, but to be honest, this sounds like a lot more fun. I'm sure some of the stuff will offend. Get over it, and come on out. Feel the hate.

Earplugs: Upcoming Concerts & Stuff

Big Apple update: Throbbing Gristle will play in NYC on April 16 at the Brooklyn Masonic Temple in Fort Greene (317 Clermont Ave at Lafayette Ave.).

Meanwhile, back in the 305... this Saturday, the ever awesome B-52s will be performing at the Fillmore. Tim and Eric will be making people pee their panties on Sunday at Revolution.

Morrissey (yeah!) is back in town (hopefully for real this time, since his last Miami concert was cancelled), Feb. 28 at Mizner Park. All you maneaters might want to head over to see Hall and Oates at Mizner on Feb. 20. And all you haters of bisexual folk will want to avoid Club Cinema on March 18, because Ani DiFranco will be reading poetry and singing there that night. On March 29 at Pompano Beach Ampitheatre, you can check out the ass kicking sister team, Heart, and Fleetwood Mac will be at the BankAtlantic Center on April 23.

Of course, I've already mentioned the Black Lips at Churchill's on March 27 and then Matt and Kim on the 28th. I bought my June 9 Animal Collective ticket, because I got so very excited, even though I deeply hope I will have moved to another land (like Maine or Memphis) for a job at that point.

My roomie bought us earplugs. I haven't decided if I'll start wearing them or if I should get my mom to teach me some simple ASL.
I'll probably just plug my ears.

Triplets?

I don't know what it is, but the "bisexual" and intensely competitive, Ikki (appropriately named) twins from MTV's Double Shot at Love look somewhat like Rudolph's dentist buddy. They looked so familiar, and then I remembered Hermey the Misfit Elf, and it all came together. 

I thank God every day that I do not have a sister, especially an evil monster sister like either of these two. They're not stupid or alien faced like Tila Tequila, but they went through all of these contestants and not surprisingly picked the same exact guy for themselves. The "winner" of the extra-chromosome-boy seemed so thrilled that she beat her sister that it totally eclipsed the fact that her dude got nude with her own flesh-and-blood twin before he got with her. I asked my friend if he'd date the same guy as his sister, and he laughed. No. He wouldn't, because it's freaking icky.