ashamm al hawaa'

When I was about ten or so, as we often did in the summertime, my mom drove my brother and I to visit her hometown of Wilkes Barre, Pennsylvania. One day, my great Uncle George drove us,and his gambling buddy, with a lady's name, Christie, up into the Poconos to get a glimpse of the green valleys and mountains that surround that ugly, old coal mining town. As we stood at a scenic lookout point over the plunging emerald hills, Uncle George (all five hundred pounds of him), turned to us and taught Jim and I the first clean words we ever learned in Arabic: "ashamm al hawaa'"! Smell the air! We repeated the phrase again and again, memorizing it, smell the fresh air! And the air up there was worth breathing.

Over the past few days, the air has been noxiously not breath-worthy in South Florida. On Sunday, I attempted to sit in my parents' pool with my friend in from London, and as we chatted, our eyes slowly closed and became crimson while ashes fell from the sky like snow. It was repulsive and my sinuses were inflamed with anger. Every day since this fire started, I feel like my head is on fire and I'm so unbelievably tired!

The worst part is that it's not going to end anytime soon, and it was started by an arsonist. What an a-hole. Right? I mean, what's the point? How much of an erection does s/he get from watching the flames and the allergies of Miamians flare? I'll tell you one thing, it doesn't turn me on.

The Miami Herald keeps saying that the weather is changing and will improve conditions for firefighters, but they've been saying that for five days now. More than 40,000 acres have been destroyed, prisoners from Krome were removed and the habitat for the endangered Cape Sable Seaside Sparrow has been threatened. I just hope it ends soon so I can again leave my front door open and smell the deliciously hot, sweaty, Miami summer air and have my eyes returned to me less swollen.

(Thank you to my most beautiful, brilliant cousin Farrah Farley for being so linguistically talented. If you need an Arabic translator, let me know.)

Hey-Adams, a DC MUST

The Hay-Adams Hotel is situated directly across the street from the White House. The namesakes of this DC gem are John Hey, who worked for Lincoln, McKinley and Teddy Roosevelt, and Henry Adams, the renowned intellectual and descendent of John and John Quincy Adams. Hay and Adams lived in adjoining houses on this spot in the late 19th century and theirs was one of the leading salons of its time, hosting discussions of the greatest minds of their time from a variety of disciplines. After their deaths, the property was leased to the Brazilian embassy, later torn down and became this fancy-pants hotel.

The walls of the bar downstairs are covered with caricatures of politicos, presidents and wannabe politicians. Clearly they were drawn in groups by different artists during different eras. One of the walls displays Obama, Nader, the Hillary Clinton of today, as well as Al Gore, post presidential loss, in scuba gear; this is the most updated. Another has Clarence Thomas and Marion Barry smoking a crack pipe, clearly from yesteryear. There are at least two Carters, Clintons and Ted Kennedys. It was fun running around pointing out political heros and foes. Luckily my Aunt Nancy and Jimmy are the biggest nerds ever to be torn from a human womb, so we knew most everyone drawn there. This was one of the coolest places I have ever been in DC, and I've been there plenty of times over the years. Simply put: it rules.

Here's me, hitting on the 65 year old Indian bartender, trying to score a free drink (failure).

Our future president!!!
The family, in a booth. This place was chill as fuck. It was like Fox's without the grime. Oh, and with the prestige of former visitors, such as the rulers and great thinkers and shakers of our nation.

DC 1

I was out of the MIA and into the District of Columbia last weekend. I have some reviews, pics and family hideousness to add here. I'm starting with a few lovelies of my trip generally speaking. Here's a little snapshot of the Capital Building right here.

This is Adam's Morgan, 18th Street, the view from my cousin and brother's place. It rained the whole time I was there, but here, for just a moment, the clouds showed us mercy. They're very hooked up at this location, they are near everything/anything. You can drag your ass in any direction and eventually bump into some place to eat that's decent.
This is a shout out. Cheers to Jimmy (inferior sibling), Diana, Leah, Alfonso (my new, better brother), my cousins: Farrah, Julie and Mary Kate. This place was called Rosemary Thyme Cafe, which was just OK.
This is my prettiest family member, Farrah, eating garlic out my hand.

This is my brother, Jimmy. His look was heavily influenced by the film Deliverance.

Earthly Love.

Happy Earth Day! Don't forget about Mother Earth, ever. She's good stuff.

I must say that the obsessive-compulsive hoarding behavior I saw in my Aunt Nancy and my mother really did teach me about conservation. Mind you, they call it being thrifty. I always just thought they were cheap, and they are, but they also have a few good ideas. To make your life "greener," just turn to those people, like my fam, who reuse everything. Those who buy used dishes, who will grab your old couch from the trash for their living room and only give away their crappy, old worn couch to someone who really needs it and will use it till it's in tatters. These are the people who wash out and reuse sandwich baggies. Learn from them, and then you'll get part of the idea.

Thinking about what you put in your body is probably the most important thing you can do that will affect your quality of life. Barbara Kingsolver's Animal, Vegetable, Miracle is an inspirational book that gives you every freaking reason you should stick to eating food that was grown locally. Seasonal foods taste better, organic eating is better for the environment and eating locally saves the ozone because it limits the use of fossil fuels (tomatoes in January are tasteless and they come all the way from a pesticide ridden California greenhouse. Ew).

Something I actually think about much of the day is changing all the regular crap bulbs in my life to energy-efficient compact fluorescent light bulbs (CFLs). For the love of God, it's like the easiest thing to do, and you never have to change your light bulbs. I hate changing light bulbs as much as I loathe pumping gas (especially at $4.00 a gallon). But until I get a gigantic raise, I'm stuck pumping a load of gas into my old lady sedan. That's all I've got right now. Oh, and I gave out trees for X-mas on http://www.arborday.org/.

Peace, love and trees.

Ugly

This is my family: