Future Pres

Yesterday, I took the day off of work so that I could experience our future president's oratory style, firsthand. Sen. Obama spoke, at the BankAtlantic Center in Sunrise, to a packed house of mostly African Americans. Instead of waiting with the masses, I surreptitiously snuck in with the crippled folks and other jerk-offs (or are we geniuses?) through the ADA door. Once inside, the excitement was deliciously tingly! Thousands of people coming together for the same purpose is a very inspiring experience. I forced my way onto the floor and stood for four hours in a tight crowd of angry, funny and interesting people. It was worth the wait. I made friends, enemies and had the privilege of standing less than 10 feet from one of the most convincing, elegant, eloquent, and natural speakers I have encountered. 

Obama arrived to screams and cheers and immediately left the podium to walk and talk to the audience in a comfortable manner around the stage, "like Oprah," he said. He managed to joke with the attending constituents while responding to his opponents criticisms. He spoke of the importance of veterans' benefits by referring to his grandfather's service in the military during WWII. Described how the GI Bill provided his family with shelter and education, allowing him to get to where he is at today, showing that although he hasn't himself fought in a war, his family has sacrificed for this country. The audience responded the most enthusiastically to his comments on healthcare; he noted that McCain hasn't proposed his own solution to the grave injustices in our current system. That was his only mention of other candidates that I could hear (the acoustics were terrible) beside mentioning that this election is not a blame game. He stuck to defending his stances on the issues, including his rejection of suspension of the fuel task this summer, which has been supported by Hillary and McCain. 

We had a lot of laughs. One guy yelled out, "we got your back, b!" Afterward, the same man told us that he would be following the Obama trail to DC. He stood as long as we did on the floor, for hours, and as we walked up the stairs, I noticed he had a significant limp. Obama had inspired us all, and made the discomfort of the wait (8 years/4 hours) worth it. 

Thanks to Marco O'Toole for the brilliant photograph on his fancy phone. 

Update:
I went to this show, and I was one of only FIVE people in the audience... no lie. However, Yo! Majesty is so awesome. More details in a minute...

boobs exposed

Do you guys remember that semi-homeless guy, Joaquin, that used to hang out at Churchill's and would draw your "portrait" and then scribble in large, exposed breasts right below your face?

Blog it, bro

There's an article in the NY Times about blogging that I think all y'all bloggers should read.

More Frugal Traveler

Matt Gross is the Frugal Traveler for the NY Times and fortunately, for all of us, he's setting off on a tour of Europe this year! Last year he drove the US on a budget, and I was a loyal weekly reader. I waited with extreme anticipation every Wednesday for his updates. Don't miss this summer's Grand Tour!

ashamm al hawaa'

When I was about ten or so, as we often did in the summertime, my mom drove my brother and I to visit her hometown of Wilkes Barre, Pennsylvania. One day, my great Uncle George drove us,and his gambling buddy, with a lady's name, Christie, up into the Poconos to get a glimpse of the green valleys and mountains that surround that ugly, old coal mining town. As we stood at a scenic lookout point over the plunging emerald hills, Uncle George (all five hundred pounds of him), turned to us and taught Jim and I the first clean words we ever learned in Arabic: "ashamm al hawaa'"! Smell the air! We repeated the phrase again and again, memorizing it, smell the fresh air! And the air up there was worth breathing.

Over the past few days, the air has been noxiously not breath-worthy in South Florida. On Sunday, I attempted to sit in my parents' pool with my friend in from London, and as we chatted, our eyes slowly closed and became crimson while ashes fell from the sky like snow. It was repulsive and my sinuses were inflamed with anger. Every day since this fire started, I feel like my head is on fire and I'm so unbelievably tired!

The worst part is that it's not going to end anytime soon, and it was started by an arsonist. What an a-hole. Right? I mean, what's the point? How much of an erection does s/he get from watching the flames and the allergies of Miamians flare? I'll tell you one thing, it doesn't turn me on.

The Miami Herald keeps saying that the weather is changing and will improve conditions for firefighters, but they've been saying that for five days now. More than 40,000 acres have been destroyed, prisoners from Krome were removed and the habitat for the endangered Cape Sable Seaside Sparrow has been threatened. I just hope it ends soon so I can again leave my front door open and smell the deliciously hot, sweaty, Miami summer air and have my eyes returned to me less swollen.

(Thank you to my most beautiful, brilliant cousin Farrah Farley for being so linguistically talented. If you need an Arabic translator, let me know.)

Big News: Clinton and Obama in Miami!

Hey Dems, they've finally come to lure us all to the polls!

Senator Hillary Clinton "Solutions for America" on Wednesday, May 21, 2008 at University of Miami, Bank United Center 1234 Dauer Dr., Coral Gables, FL 33146. Doors Open: 6:00 p.m. Event Begins: 8:00 p.m. FREE and open to all...first-come, first-served!

Senator Barack Obama will speak at the Cuban American National Foundation Luncheon Friday, May. 23 at 12:00 pm, Intercontinental Hotel, 100 Chopin Plaza, Miami, FL 33131. Tickets: $150.00 per person. Contact Gabriel Mendoza at 305-588-0124.

http://www.miamidadedemocrats.com/
Click here for info on the upcoming, local Congressional Debates!

UPDATE:

FREE Rally!!! Broward County Rally with Barack Obama

Bank Atlantic Center One Panther Parkway, Sunrise, FL 33323

Friday, May 23rd, 2008

Doors Open: 2:00 p.m. Program Begins: 3:30 p.m.

A few local and world updates

I want to start by letting everyone know that my strong, brilliant, beautiful Lebanese sista, Diane Rehm, will be speaking in Downtown Miami this Thursday, May 22, 2008. If you don't know about her and her sad, strange, shaky voice, please tune into 91.3, WLRN, the local NPR station (for those of you who just learned to read), at 10a.m. on weekdays. Click on her for tickets.

Tragedies in the news:
Senator Ted Kennedy has a brain tumor. Those poor Kennedys. American royalty.
Patrick Swayze is going to die soon from pancreatic cancer.
An earthquake wiped out at least 13,000 people in China last week in the Sichuan Province. I need to tell you why I think China will never become the world's superpower, and this incident is reflective of my reasoning.
A cyclone in Myanmar killed more than 100,000 people.

More fun stuff:
My super cool friend Henry was promoting this, I imagine he'll be making beautiful music:
GOLD DUST LOUNGE, Friday June 6, 2008 at 7:00 PM, Books & Books, 265 Aragon Ave, Coral Gables

From sweatrecordsmiami.blogspot.com, a few highlights:
Friday, May 23
--STUDIO A: YO MAJESTY 7pm, tickets: $12 in advance, $15 day of show. 60 NE 11th St.
--RAG*TRADE: Sweat Records welcomes the newest member of it's retail family. Come to the grand re-opening!! myspace.com/ragtradeco
Monday, June 2
--STUDIO A: NADA SURF perform live!! Tickets $15, 7pm. 60 NE 11th St.
Monday, June 9
--VAMPIRE WEEKEND, Tickets $20 at Sweat Records, Fillmore, 1700 Washington Ave.

There is a ton more stuff on there, including George Michael in August (I'm going). Check it out.

Some good news for your inner demons. I hear that a new Gothic party will be starting at the Upper East Side Garden, I believe the first Friday of the month! And like they'll be playing the good, dark shit, no Marilyn Manson baloney. I'll keep you updated.

Too poor to eat out, but I can dream, thanks New Times for rubbing it in

Best of New Times Miami came out on Thursday and it's online. If you happen to pick up one made of tree corpses, you may notice a familiar face in there. I'm not saying who, but he's a cutie!

Growing up, this annual review was always a big deal for me. Probably because I'm lazy and argumentative, and I want someone else to tell me what they think before I even bother with something and if you did it first, I can tell you you're wrong about whatever it was you thought. I'm a real sweety!

One year I went to Nemo on the Beach just because the New Times deemed it to have the best desserts, and lemme tell you---yummy. However, these days, my budget is as tight as my jeans, and yes, I overeat, but I can't afford to eat out as much. Instead, this issue just reminds me what a poor porker I am, unable to enjoy the unique cuisine and entertainment Miami has to offer. I'm posting some comments anyway.

Some I agree with this year are:

Best Basel Headline Grab by a Local Artist Maite Josune--- Go Maite!

Best Drag Queen Elaine Lancaster--- she's really the only Miami drag queen, right?

Best Local Clothing Designer Nektar De Stagni--- fancy schmancy

Best TV News Anchor Dwight Lauderdale--- his name is great, it's not quite Wolf Blitzer or Evan Bacon, but it'll do for So FLo.

Best Display of Wealth The Adrienne Arsht Center for the Performing Arts of Miami-Dade County--- impressive, truly.

Best Hotel Jamaica Motel--- a Calle Ocho paridise. Don't forget to tell your out of town cousins that this is the BEST HOTEL, you know, if you're paying for sex and renting by the hour.

Best Hotel to Pretend You're a Guest Sagamore Hotel--- I've done this twice at the Sagamore, pre-renovations and post. Let me tell you- it was pretty strange and neat before they made it magnificently beautiful. There were like three or four single beds in a room, single file, separated by curtains. It offered that classic, WTF-Miami Beach-glowin' with the oldies vibe.

Best Place for a First Date Upper Eastside Garden--- every time I go here, I have a great time and get just wasted enough to not hate myself the next day.

Best Place to Eat in Peace Miami City Cemetery--- oddly enough, I have actually done this.

Best Place to Nurse a Hangover Jimmy's Eastside Diner--- on the north side.

Best Politician Joe Garcia--- goooooo Dems!!!

Best Cookies The Lost & Found Saloon--- bluberry beer.

Best Acoustic Musician Rachel Goodrich--- surprisingly un-Miami, talented, fun to watch. It's great how she looks like a pre-teen and sings like a sexy sex kitten.

Best Local Album Cover Artist Arnold Steiner--- cool guy, awesome art.

Best Local Solo Musician José El Rey--- nice dude, fun performances (see old posts for pics).

Best Neighborhood Bar/Central PS14--- I have to say, even though I love it there, it's painful for me to continue going to PS all the time. I've overdone it. However, I do think that PS14 is the best place to go out in Miami that allows for dancing. That's a big compliment. And, of course, the people that work there kick ass (figuratively), and even though they often want to kick my ass out, they often show me mercy (thanks guys). I promise to try and not throw pool balls, cues or drinks at people in PS anymore. Aw.

Best New Bar The Vagabond--- this should be Best Reopened Bar.

Best Open-Mike Night Can You Rock a Little Softer? (CYRALS)--- Raffa is so talented and her night is really refreshing. I am so glad that they're bringin' the folk (see old posts for when Ravelstein ripped it up at CYRALS).

Best Chain Restaurant Chipotle Mexican Grill--- one of the best things I learned in NYC.

Best Chefs Michelle Bernstein and Michael Schwartz--- I like Michael's selection better and Michy's desserts.

Best Diner S&S Diner--- good old S&S. Those waitresses there really know how to smoke, flirt with customers and put their painted tips straight into your mashed potatoes. Two thumbs up for a real diner!

Best Ethiopian Restaurant Sheba Ethiopian Restaurant--- they can finally add this category.

Best Food Court Dadeland Mall--- can you say Chik-fil-A (heavenly sauces).

Best French Restaurant Le Bouchon du Grove--- but so expensive.
Best Japanese Restaurant Domo Japones--- also really expensive, but tasty. The Poma Domo cocktail was the only billion dollar drink worth tasting.

Best Restaurant in South Miami-Dade Café Pastis--- my parents love this joint.

Best Vietnamese Restaurant Hy Vong--- limpin' lesbians! This place is off the chain! Good beer selection, too!

Best Place to Buy a Rubber Dog Turd La Casa de los Trucos--- this is just the best place on earth, probably.

Best Record/CD Store Sweat Records--- not much competition in Miami for indie music stores, but Sweat is pretty awesome and even better now that they're open late next to Churchill's, everything in tact.

DUBIOUS:

Best Place to Meet Single Men Wynwood Arts District Walk--- or rather: Best Place to Meet Men and Their Beards

Best Concert Iggy & the Stooges--- let's just say that I left this show to see Cocorosie and Karen Black perform at the Raleigh under the stars. We had free bottles of vodka, glasses of champagne and boxes of Mac makeup. Iggy, you and the Stooges lose.

Tomhansson

As many of you already know, Scarlett Johansson created an album of Tom Waits covers: Anywhere I Lay My Head. There's no way to compete with Waits. Even though every reviewer has said it's a tribute album, showing SJ's admiration for Waits, I still am pretty suspicious about anyone who thinks they're as great as their idols, great enough to try and imitate their exact work (schizo). In my opinion, you've got to be completely drunk on yourself to attempt such a ridiculous task. But really, who cares what I think.
My old buddy Tyler Lovejoy wrote up a little FYI for Miami, bro about this endeavor:
Produced by the white guy from TV on the Radio, with guests like that guitar dude from the Yeah Yeah Yeahs and Bowie himself, it will either (tragically) introduce posers, who've never heard of Waits, to his music, without knowing it's his, or (magically) shed new light and breathe a fresh voice into the "gravelly one's" jams. (I wish I sounded like a gargled gravel.)
You can just warn America with the information provided herein -- use it all if you like.
Here's the video for the first single -- ScarJo -- which is available now on iTunes. And yes, that's the Goblin King doing backing vocals.
Oh -- and you can do a Pepsi challenge. Scarlett versus Zooey Deschanel (with M. Ward -- Zooey wins, hands down, since she writes her own stuff and it's fabulous).

-Tyler Lovejoy (genius)

It's me again and yes, I added the genius part, because Tyler has an inflated IQ and ego, and I think he knows what he's talking about most of the time, when he speaks, writes or yells drunkenly (except when arguing with me). Feel free to add your own opinion on the album. I personally was surprised by her voice, it's at least interesting, but really, come on, compare her monotone to Waits' version. I haven't heard her whole album, so I can't say nothing, bro (as they do say in Miami). However, I can assume that I probably wouldn't buy it.
Also, I think Tyler wants to marry M. Ward and have Tom Waits' babies.

Pitchfork review.

Hey-Adams, a DC MUST

The Hay-Adams Hotel is situated directly across the street from the White House. The namesakes of this DC gem are John Hey, who worked for Lincoln, McKinley and Teddy Roosevelt, and Henry Adams, the renowned intellectual and descendent of John and John Quincy Adams. Hay and Adams lived in adjoining houses on this spot in the late 19th century and theirs was one of the leading salons of its time, hosting discussions of the greatest minds of their time from a variety of disciplines. After their deaths, the property was leased to the Brazilian embassy, later torn down and became this fancy-pants hotel.

The walls of the bar downstairs are covered with caricatures of politicos, presidents and wannabe politicians. Clearly they were drawn in groups by different artists during different eras. One of the walls displays Obama, Nader, the Hillary Clinton of today, as well as Al Gore, post presidential loss, in scuba gear; this is the most updated. Another has Clarence Thomas and Marion Barry smoking a crack pipe, clearly from yesteryear. There are at least two Carters, Clintons and Ted Kennedys. It was fun running around pointing out political heros and foes. Luckily my Aunt Nancy and Jimmy are the biggest nerds ever to be torn from a human womb, so we knew most everyone drawn there. This was one of the coolest places I have ever been in DC, and I've been there plenty of times over the years. Simply put: it rules.

Here's me, hitting on the 65 year old Indian bartender, trying to score a free drink (failure).

Our future president!!!
The family, in a booth. This place was chill as fuck. It was like Fox's without the grime. Oh, and with the prestige of former visitors, such as the rulers and great thinkers and shakers of our nation.

Greek Good, mmmm

Mourayo is a delicious Greek restaurant in Dupont Circle: 1732 Connecticut Ave NW. It's very tiny, but the waiters dress like sailors (! yes, gays, I am not kidding). This guy was hesitant to let me take his picture and asked if I was going to put it on the Internet, I said yes, took the shot and, voila, it's on the Internet!


This was my lamb stew with orzo. The meat was tender, there was a distinctly Mediterranean taste to it: yummy cumin. The appetizers were amazing: a soft cheese in philo triangles, Greek salad with chunks of feta and thousand island dressing, fresh octopus, grilled pita, a plate of dipping sauces including perfectly flavored humus, some fish things and, my favorite, tzatziki, thick and a little lemony.
This was a swordfish skewer.
Black ravioli.
Shrimp, scallops and some octopus inky substance.