Friday, October 31, 2008


Whomever is putting up my windshield wipers, please make yourself known. 

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Carvin' Party

My New Boyfriend

Last night, a group of us got together in an intense pumpkin carving session. The carving took place on a lake, outside of a beautiful house, on the coldest day yet this year. My lips are chapped, but it was wonderful to be out in the brisk air. Kizzy made a bonfire and although we didn't have sticks to make smores with, we still ate a fuckload of candy apples, cupcakes, and candies. I carved myself a boyfriend, a sad faced dude. I even carved the word boyfriend across his cheek, so he wouldn't forget who he is, and who he belongs to! I like to bark orders at him, and he doesn't talk back. It's kind of a perfect relationship. Anyway. I had a great time, and everyone made impressive carvings. There are some examples below. I have to make my costume tomorrow, and I know you all will want to touch "them" once they're made, so get your paws ready. 
Have a happy Halloween, Miami style (includes palm trees and sweating). 

Some of the badass pumpkins carved last night.

In order from the top, Farley, Tasha, Monica, John, Tony. I could only put 5, but they were all beautiful, even Tim's offensive carving. Good times. 

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Some Halloween Stuff, bro

Beside the Grove, Lincoln Road, and house parties, here are some other things going on the Halloween. 

(305) Music Lounge, Miami Beach, 721 North Lincoln Lane. 

Monday, October 27, 2008

Tuesday To Do (APC- After the Pumpkin Carving)

Fitzroy feat. Out of the Anonymous/Out of the Anonymous feat. Fitzroy
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
8:30pm - 11:30pm
The News Lounge
55th Street and NE 4th Court

Friday, October 24, 2008

Some of my favorite Obama shirts

Bedazzled Obama
Obama by Karla L. (let me know if you want to buy one)
Our hope for Obama
Street Obama-wear by Nico
Obama Lovers (Barack and Michelle are featured in the lower corner)

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Happy Birthday to a good bro-friend.

Belkys Nerey at Vagabond, enough to make for a happy birthday. She thought we were cute, but whoa in this picture. Creepy trio. Local-celebs forever, bro. First Miami, then LA, here we come. 

This weekend

This Friday, Sweat is hosting a Rachel Goodrich concert at Vagabond. She' s good, you should go see her perform, it's definitely worth it. Also, they have $1 Stella drafts or PBRs before midnight, and the performance is always before midnight. Start early for once, you late night Miami bros. 
Before you go out to Poplife, or to whatever drunken debauchery you have planned for Saturday, you should stop by the Art Center on Lincoln Road. My good friend since 4th grade, Venessa Monokian alerted me to a reception that will be taking place there on Saturday evening. Check out the sculptures she makes out of pencils and paperclips and stuff. Awesome, bro. 

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

A Late Date: Art by Mr. Vuong

My roommate is a terrific artistic mind and a great dresser. You may know Nathan (Lam) Vuong from his DJing days at Spiderpussy, or from his former show on WVUM, or even just for being such a cutie. His newest project involves looking at dating, solitude, and all the shit that goes along with it. 

My Date Blew Me Off shows various scenarios where Nathan is on a date and there is only an imaginary partner along for the ride. Above is probably my favorite photo. You may be able to relate. You're hanging out with a dude, relaxing at home, chilling on his lap, and he's flipping through the channels, but then you realize that the guy never showed up, and you're just staring at the blank screen, alone. Through these shots, Nathan captures the comfort one person feels with another, the happiness, tension, and sometimes the awkwardness we feel when we are around someone we like. But then on closer inspection, you realize that these feelings are imagined, that other person is merely a sketch of a fantasy lover that hasn't yet arrived. These pieces are sad and funny, delicate and thoughtful. I hope you enjoy them. 

annoying, bro

I wrote a blog yesterday that I published today about my roommate's artwork and I wanted it to be the first one you saw when you clicked on this page today.  It showed up further down than a blog I posted after I wrote this one... you know what I mean? Annoying. You can scroll down, or if you're too lazy, you should click here: A Late Date: Art by Mr. Vuong

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Obamas at the Park in Miami, bro.

Today at Bicentennial Park, Michelle and Barack Obama spoke to a huge crowd of thousands. 
Barack spoke for a significant amount of time, and was introduced by Sens. Nelson and Graham, in addition to his wife. Bicentennial Park couldn't have been a worse venue if you covered it with diarrhea and snakes. Granted, I didn't arrive as early as I would have liked, but the crowd was dense, and there were so few places to stand where you could actually see the stage clearly, that there wasn't much room to enjoy the experience. People were sitting on the Port-o-potties for God's sakes. The sound system was terrible as well, as you could only hear Michelle speak if you were in one small area of the park. Basically, I missed out on the goodies this time (the last public rally was more intimate), but so many people were able to hear Obama speak in person that it was worth the trip for him, I believe. There is definitely much support for Obama in Miami, and not just from the African American community, but also from young people, students, and young parents. I hope he makes it here again before the election and everyone can see him at his best: Obama Live. 

Monday, October 20, 2008

Vote if you love FREEDOM and LIBERALISM, bro

Local activist S. Leon sent out an e-mail with suggested reading for election choices, which should help us decide how we're going to vote on the rest of the ballot, after we check Obama. This list shows you where to look to vote Dem or Republican. 

Oh, and we can't forget to vote NO on 2, because we love the gays, and support their rights as citizens. Read more about it at Save Dade. Daniella Levine (click on her name for her blog) is my former boss, executive director at Human Services Coalition; she is a progressive thinker and a trusted mind. My votes will be aligned with hers. 

Here's his list:

If you would prefer to do some research on your own, here are some sources of information:

1. Florida judges:

[Yes to all. Lawyers like them.]

2. State constitution amendments:

[Some good, some bad.]

Amendment 2 (an anti-gay amendment which will potentially harm all unmarried couples):

3. Dade Charter amendments:

[Yes to all except unified fire.]

4. Strong mayor:

5. Dade/Gables/Pinecrest Fire politics:

6. Property Appraiser:

More on Gwen Margolis at:

7. Ros-Lehtinen- Taddeo:

8. Diaz-Balart- Martinez:

9. Diaz-Balart- Garcia:

10. Pinecrest mayor: Lerner-Serota (no Serota web site)

Obama Warm-up

Celebrate early voting at the Raleigh from 6-11. Vote for Obama.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Churchill's Tonight, Obama Tuesday

Sketchy will be playing with a host of other performers. Starts early enough, about 9ish, so you can make it home in time to get some sleepies before workies. 

Obama Rally on Tuesday, Oct. 21, with actual Obamas. Michelle and Barack will be there!!! Early Vote for Change Rally at Bicentennial Park, 1075 Biscayne Blvd. 
Doors Open: 3:45 p.m. Program Begins: 5:45 p.m.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

If you're in LA, go see these mothafunkas

Jennifer the Leopard will be playing at a Michel Gondry signing at Famil​y

Wedne​sday, Oct. 22, 8:​30 pm
436 N. Fairf​ax Ave., Los Angel​es,​ CA 90036​

Friday, October 17, 2008

W: blood for oil.

W. is a traditional Oliver Stone movie, a portrait of a man shown through hyperbole and an imagined reality, including fantasy and dream sequences. The actors made the movie, especially Richard Dreyfuss, Josh Brolin, Thandie Newton (a hilarious Condie), and Jeffrey Wright (Basquiat goes political). 

I will begin by saying that I find the real G.W. Bush to be a completely unlikable figure, to whom I can only offer small spurts of pity. This portrayal of the President doesn't do much for his image either. He looks physically greasy throughout the first part of the movie, always drunk. Then, once he cleans up, he still has some work to do as far as his intellect goes. He has a great memory, but can't synthesize information, and his original thoughts are mostly just about Jesus and freedom. He's sort of an unfunny guy who thinks he's funny; a simpleton. 

I have always found the senior Bushes to be unlikable people, as well. However, Stone paints them as boring people of some character who have always kept the best interest of the country in mind (except for the negative campaigning). Olie shows them as stout Episcopalians (tradition), opposed to the Bush born-agains (fad); as those who spoke out against the (useless) Iraq war; as people who have sense of self and insight into their own and their children's personalities, by which they measure actions. Now, I cannot say that any of this is true, because what the fuck do I know, I've never met the folks, but it is a new perspective for me. 

Cheney is clearly portrayed as a cruel, oil-hungry, torture-loving demon. While W. is just a sad clown-figure, never good enough for Poppy Bush, always idealistic and casual, Cheney is the sly snake, ready to stir up disruption where he can. There is a scene where the whole evil cabinet is sitting around a table deciding whether or not to go to war which every American should see. Bush's advisors' intentions are laid out in pictures and words. We see how layered a war Iraq has been, the most important and telling voices being those of Powell and Cheney. Powell wants to use diplomacy and work with the UN and Cheney lays it out as a worldwide beatdown for control of one of our most limited and valuable resources: oil. Cheney sees our role as imperialist ruler over the oil-bearing Middle East. The US would be going in for the black gold, and not leaving until we've sucked Mama Earth's nipple dry. 

I didn't previously know the huge role Karl Rove played in the life of GW. It was like he's the freakish mutant that uses W's charisma and family name to secure a place for himself in political history. And Laura is a vacuous, smiling figure, who starts with a desire to influence policy on education, and soon sweeps those dreams aside to support her moronic drunken mate. The load of them suck, but you kind of feel for the current Pres, and understand how hard it is to be that limited in such a challenging role. Interestingly, you realize that horrible, barbaric, murderous acts can be put into play by someone with not alotta brains and a whole lotta power. Mediocre people doing terrible things. Check out the movie. It explains much, though with how much credit to fact, I don't know. It's a good watch to rile you up, GOOD or GOP. 

P.S.  Look at what's on Wikipedia about Karl Rove and what a douche he has always been: In the fall of 1970, Rove used a false identity to enter the campaign office of Democrat Alan J. Dixon, who was running for Treasurer of Illinois. He stole 1000 sheets of paper with campaign letterhead, printed fake campaign rally fliers promising "free beer, free food, girls and a good time for nothing", and distributed them at rock concerts and homeless shelters, with the effect of disrupting Dixon's rally. (Dixon eventually won the election). Rove's role would not become publicly known until August 1973. Rove told the Dallas Morning News in 1999, "It was a youthful prank at the age of 19 and I regret it."[10]

What's been up with me, bro?

I need to catch y'all up on what's been going on. 

I have been to two good restaurants in the past 2 days based on the same theme of tons of small meals filling one large void (thanks Danny):
-El Carajo- Spanish tapas bar on Red Road and 10th Street. The food was very tasty, even the salad, which is what I think Spanish people do the worst. It's not cheap, but the house red was reasonable, $24, and the atmosphere was charmingly, traditional Espana, dark and crowded, in a good way.  
-Kon Chau Restaurant-Dim sum/Chinese on Bird Road and 83rd Street. I clearly missed the memo on dim sum, because I over-ordered like a motherfucker and ended up bringing home a full extra meal. The environment may be a little dirty Chinatown, but the food was delicious and very inexpensive. Also the service was like BAM, in and out. We had like three waiters just throwing food at us, quick as shit. I want more. 

I went to JAM at MAM and it was extra lame. Used to be fun. Wasn't feeling the crowd. It was an Oktoberfest event, and there was a funny old guy musician with great half-calf leg warmers. He kinda made it worth my while. 

I went to Farley Aguilar's show (kick ass), a concert at the Black Mangrove Collective and Nastie's night at PS14. There was a good turn out at the Carol Jazzar opening, and everybody's work was workin' it (a few examples on this page include Farley and two of his paintings, my favorite Farley painting and a Snoop made of tape by Kuhl & Leyton). 

There was a young, wannabe hippy thing at the Black Mangrove Collective where the Jacuzzi Boys played. It was pretty fun, and although the audience was half my age, and apparently all have worked at American Apparel, at least no one was wearing AA, and everyone smelled like hippies (as they should, though to the distaste of most of my friends). 

I happened to swing by PS afterward. It is still one of my favorite places in Miami, but they have been slacking on consistently fun nights over the past year or two. They had bands playing inside and out, and a decent crowd. I would definitely go again, and again, as I have so many times, especially as a good alternative to the usual snoozefest.  

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Shake it, bro

Tonight Vagabond is launching their new Thursday night party. At first, it sounded oddly similar to their last Thursday night, Money Shot, which featured mostly hip hop. I liked Money Shot because the music was danceable and the vibe light. I didn't go often, but when I did head out there, I could shake it to Biggie and shit, and I love that oldish school musica (don't want to say old, because I was already wearing a bra when Big Papa was at his height). I couldn't go very often, because I had work, but now I'm free (as a bird) on Fridays, so I think I can check out Shake, the new party. After seeing the flyer, I think the music will be a bit different, and I know Alex Caso will be kicking ass on the ones and twos (I'm a cheesehead, I know). I feel that there will be a whiter trashier vibe, considering the quart drinking contest and the bearded white man chugging in front of Walgreens above. I'm sure it's worth checking out, even if just for the Colt and Alex.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

best defense ever... Joe the Plumber

Wow, McCain. Ya really got him there! Wait, who the FUCK is Joe the Plumber? I couldn't give a fuck about him. BOMP on that healthcare argument John. Joe's not getting fined under Obama/Biden. Barack gotcha! 

This debate is making me insane. I can't understand what McCain is doing. I debated in high school, and did some really terrible arguing, but McCain is doing the worst defense/offense I have EVER seen. I mean, I saw kids have meltdowns at Blue Key during failed LD debates that performed better than this. 

Note to McCain: John, you have changed. I'm not saying I ever liked you,
 but you've really become a monster. Before you demand an unnecessary apology from Obama - on something unrelated to his campaign - you need to apologize for having your VP candidate call Obama a terrorist. Say you're sorry. Just say it and I won't be as horrified as I am. SAY YOU'RE SORRY! 

One more thing... This was created by Jill Greenberg, don't know who she is, but it's brilliant!


If you can imagine a shitty few weeks, you can imagine my freaking life:
-got laid off
-car brakes and tires went
-deal with crazy people with penises 

Yes, that's right, my hard drive not only crashed, but I didn't have anything backed up, because I was so busy trying to organize my millions of pictures that I didn't save anything. 
I lost the last 13 months of pictures I've taken (6 trips) and all writing I've done. 
I wept openly at the "genius" bar. I was cruel to them and covered with tears. Mind you, I'm NEVER mean to people I don't know when I'm sober, but this time, I just didn't care. 

I hate you Apple. You suck. You fucking suck. My car is almost 10 years old, and fine, my brakes get worn out, but this computer is just a year old. AHHHHHHHHH! 

I'm going to drink white russians and yell at McCain on the TV. I'll probably cry a little more too.  

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

I don't mean to be bossy, but...

You have to go see Farley's show, because it will be awesome, because Farley is so very awesome. Look at it and love it. I'll see you there on Friday night!

Farley Aguilar "Man & Beast" oil on canvas (detail)

More info: Exhibit runs through November 10, OPEN SATURDAY & SUNDAY 1-6PM AND BY APPOINTMENT.
The exhibit presents a wide range of works from paintings to drawings, to works on tape, to objects. A central idea links all artists: the idea of emerging into something from "Darkness," "Becoming" and then "returning into Darkness". This unifying theme is based in the individual artist's perception of the process of Life - beginning out of "nothingness" and then being transformed......eventually progressing back into "darkness".

As things would happen...

I actually have a few things I'd like to post, but in the wake of getting laid off, I have not only had the brakes go on my car, but now my computer isn't turning on. Yeah. So, I'm laying back for the moment. I'm going to pray that it's nothing serious and that my lil' electronic baby will be up and running in no time. Beside that, I've been drunk for about a week since I lost my job, and I seriously think that I barfed my brains out on Sunday night, onto car and street, and then laughed about it. I say "think," because I realized this happened in flashbacks 24 hours later. My memory was refreshed by watching a Chinese guy repeatedly throw up from over-drinking in the movie Happy Together.
On a related note... Happy Together was visually interesting and just sad. It's gay, Chinese, and sexy (check it out if you're any of those). It was one of those movies you watch and you're like, yes, I know how bad that feels to: a. get dumped by the same person again and again, b. be stuck in a foreign country and wish you were home, c. like someone who only likes you as a friend, d. be in love with someone who super sucks... and the list goes on like that. The fact that it's filmed beautifully and the acting is more than convincing allows it to be a little slow moving. It really comes together in the end in a way that makes sense for the characters and for the viewers who just wants to not feel like plunging a knife into our own hearts anymore. Basically, it's really an uplifting story of hope.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Dorsch Gallery: Saturday, 7-10, 151 NW 24th Street
This October, for "A Stone's Throw", Koven will blanket Dorsch Gallery's floor with 21 tons of sand. Invitations to the show will ask visitors to bring their own sand/dirt to the exhibition thereby continuing a cycle of making stones and skipping them in the gallery space. Visitors will add their contribution to a repository of sand/dirt culled from what Koven and visitors past & present have collected worldwide.

Harold and Kumar: funniest shit ever, bro

These 2 are hilarious beyond words. The one on the right and the one on the left, not so much the one in the middle. 

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Nader will give you his mom's hummus recipe if you give him money

Click here for full info (but if you give him money, we will have problems). 

"Suffice it to say that my mother Rose was born in Lebanon. And she made perhaps the best hummus I've ever had. And I've had a lot of hummus. Hummus is nutritious. And delicious. It makes you stronger and healthier... Here it is: If you donate to Nader/Gonazlez by midnight tonight an amount that has the number three in it (three being the number of lemons in my mom's hummus recipe), we'll e-mail to you Rose Nader's hummus recipe tomorrow." Ralph Nader

My people. My people! Can't hate a man for trying.

Balbone, bro

I want to tell you about Michael Balbone, a local, Connecticut raised artist who I've known for many, many years. There's trillions of reasons to like Mike; he's cute, he makes great art, his name has the word bone in it. Can you ask for more? Mike works alongside Emily Martinez to create funny and interesting works of art out of trash as Balbone Martinez
How about this one... tell me you've never felt this way before.

Let me repeat, "Even when I was high on Tina, bent over the massage table, I knew I was filled with Christ's love."

I mean, I know we've all been there, right? Am I right? Right? (Silence)

Well anyway, Mike and Emily make some thoughtful pieces together and you can't beat recycled art. I mean, it's environmentally friendly and fun to look at. Check out their store on Etsy too, here, or visit them on Lincoln Road at Art Center South Florida. 

They have a few shows coming up that you should visit: Bakehouse Art Complex this Saturday during the Art Walk, 561 NW 32nd Street
ALL OF THE ABOVE October 7 - October 24th, 2008, Gallery Hours: M,W,R,F 9am-2pm; T 10am-6pm, Broward College, Fine Arts Gallery (Building 3), A Hugh Adams Central Campus, 3501 SW Davie Road.

I don't know man, I guess he just inspires me, bro

The Utne reported on a Parisian gallery that commissioned 30 artists to make Obama art. The work will be shown at Dorothy's Gallery.
It's funny that this idea is being actualized by an American in Paris. You'd think it'd be a Parisian in America creating this sort of exhibition. 

Unemployment: part 3

I'm sure this is as boring to read about as it is to live: unemployment. 

As you know, I wasn't feeling too down in the dumps, but then I had a conversation with my mother where she said, "why don't you just move home? You could paint your room again!" By this, she was referring to a semi-creative moment I had when I was about 16 and I painted a juvenile image on my bedroom wall. 
It was as if she asked me to return to her womb. 
And for her to encourage me to move home scared the bejesus out of me, since all we do is fight like 12 year olds on methamphetamines. I guess my eyes were just ripped opened, revealing how bad the staggering economy has hit them as well. 

After spending the day nervous, upset and shaky, I finally resolved to get it together. I drafted my cover letter, and looked up grant writing opportunities around the state, to be correct, I even looked in DC. I realize how little it will take for me to live independently, and how virtually impossible it will be for me to make this little amount of money without getting an actual job, which will cause me to lose what little income is guaranteed me. 

So basically, I have to deliver pizzas on a contractual basis, or substitute teach. Look out shitty side work, I'm coming to getcha. I'm on the hunt, and I'm after you. 

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

That one...

This is how McCain referred to Obama. He called him, "that one." You should have heard the gasp in the Democratic watching party I was at when he uttered these words.  

Also, "But you know, one of the real catalysts, really the match that lit this fire was Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. I'll bet you, you may never even have heard of them before this crisis.." McCain, yet again. He's talking to us like we're a stupids! Made me shiver with contempt. 

McCain: awful nightmare
Obama: elegant and eloquent 

McCain: full of shit
Obama: full of light

McCain: couldn't answer a question directly
Obama: clear and concise 

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Pre-debate anger

I'm on my way to watch the debates at Gordon Biersch and I just checked in on CNN.  Apparently the progressive, grassroots organization Acorn, with which I worked closely with in the past, is being investigated for voter fraud! This is a load of bullshit. Acorn works to empower people from low income neighborhoods to help educate them on their rights and to register their communities to vote. 
Of course they'd be persecuted. Disenfranchised former felons have to go through a gigantic hassle in order to regain their voting privileges. Ya know why: because they'll vote for change, for progressive government. The Man needs to lay off, because they're losing power. Just look at Wall Street. Lay OFF, whitey (not you, Dad)!!!

Monday, October 6, 2008

No Jay-Z for Monday Morning Miami Crowd

Last night Jay-Z performed at Bayfront Park, and apparently he "got a sore throat," so he couldn't perform this afternoon for the rest of us. I went down to the Obama/voter reg concert this afternoon and of course they sent out some crackly voiced white girl to break the news that Jay-Z wasn't coming. It was about 10,000 degrees, so I guess it wasn't so terrible to go home and hide in the darkness of my room. 
This experience exemplifies my problem with the Dems. They always, always, always pull this type of shit. I love my party, but seriously, they are disorganized. They should have had Trick Daddy or Pitbull in the wings, waiting, just in case this shit happened. Anticipate the worst, friends, and be ready to please the freaking crowd. Please figure it out before it's too late for us. Please!

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Some stuff happening in Miami

Must go on Oct. 13 to watch Tony's film at Sweat Records. 

Unemployment: part 2

As you all know, for the first time in a while, I am unemployed. Today I went grocery shopping as a person without a job. I decided to try bargain shopping at Whole Foods. I went in doubtful, and left with some hope. I actually got a few deals. I bought a $3.50 bottle of wine, and got (Whole Foodmade) homemade sausages on sale for .99 each. I bought 4 of them, and that plus bread is like lunch for 4 days, am I right? They have affordable buckets of organic greens and comparable prices on bread and salad dressings. Even with some meat and a 4-pack of Strongbow, 2 full reusable bags came out to $60. I paid the same for one full bag at Publix last week. Whatever, food's expensive and soon, I'll be giving up greens for Ramen noodle. I always wanted to get back to those good old days of college! 
I am concerned, however, about the max amount one might receive in unemployment compensation in the State of Florida. I hear it's $275 per week, which wouldn't cover my rent and bills. I have no savings. The anxiety is building. I would rather someone drown me in my own urine than make me move home with my parents. And the one place I invested was in a 401(k), which is worth 1/3 less than it was worth a year ago. Yup. Real nice. I'll be appealing to family for donations and maybe I'll set up my own paypal account and just look sad and ask people for cash. But then again, donations might take from those immense unemployment checks, and then I'll just break even making $1,100 per month. 

Friday, October 3, 2008

Freedom Mix

I forced my friend Nico to create a Freedom playlist in honor of unemployment. Here's what we got:

Freedom - George Michael
Freebird - Lynyrd Skynyrd
Free as a Bird - The Beatles
Free Your Mind - En Vogue
Born to be Wild - Steppenwolf
I'm Free - Rolling Stones
Rockin' in the Free World - Neil Young
Freedom - Rage Against the Machine
Don't Turn Around - Ace of Bace
Me and Bobby McGee - Janis Joplin
There's More to Life Than This - Bjork
Take a Bow - Madonna

Unemployment: part 1

I woke up this morning even earlier than I did when I was working (i.e. yesterday). The reason being: ANXIETY. I knew that my high would fall at some point, and it did at 8 am. Normally when I get anxious, I am like all other crazies, I have to drop a deuce. This time was no different, and my roomie was in the shower for his morning relaxation session. I want him to be relaxed, so I just clenched my cheeks and waited to hear the water turn off. 

I laid in my bed feeling the crushing weight of the day before: leaving work, beachin' it, applying for unemployment, heading out to watch the debates, getting wasted, losing my credit cards, crying in the back seat on the way home. I certainly was not in any way ready to face the day. I thought of the things I'd be adding to my To Do list. All the weight I'd be losing because I have no money for food. My lack of desire to poop myself - I've had enough blows this week. 

After business was taken care of, I moved to the couch, as all unemployed people do. John and Kate Plus 8 were on Regis and Kathy, which now, apparently has neither Regis nor Kathy on it anymore. Then I drifted back to sleep. Thankfully, J. called me to let me know my credit cards were at the Abbey (HORRAY, HURRAH!) and I think she went back to sleep. Martha Stewart is on the Tube and N. might come by so we can... dun, dun, dun, dunnnn: GO TO THE POST OFFICE!! I know. You're jealous. I would be too. Hopefully the anxiety subsides, I am able to enjoy this time off and my bowels forgive me the wait. 

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Getting Fired FEELS So Gooooood!

Blogger friends, I am happy to say that I got laid off today. I am not stressed, as this leaves me time to devote to The Bro, Ph.D. applications, and my Halloween costume (TBD). 

I feel the shackles removed from my wrists, leaving them free of my former work-keyboard forever! I suppose I should be sad as were my comrades and coworkers, but to be quite honest with you, I feel lucky to be out of that tragic routine and away from that strangely friendly, yet truly noxious environment. The office was very wet with tears and as my friends and I left with half-empty boxes in our hands. People expressed their love and compassion and, bitch that I am, I turned and said, "Seriously, don't feel bad for us, you're the poor bastards who still have to work here." They were wonderful work friends, but they can always buy me a drink at 5 after they get off work, just as my new day is beginning! 

Those of us that got laid off grabbed a 12-pack and hit the beach. We jumped in the clear water in our undies, sucked down some Presidentes on empty stomachs, stuffed our faces with pizza and then went home. All in all, an interesting day. So, point is, if you know of anyone that needs a grant writer, send 'em my way. Thanks!

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Walk it out, bro.

I totally missed this phenomenon, so thank GOD Alfonso noted this brilliance: Walk It Out.

Sorry, I fucked up the link! Watch it. It is FUNNY. 

Aren't you GLAAD I'm miserable?

I have been very mopey and weepy lately, and on Monday, my misery culminated into a disastrous PMS hibernation day. The thing that really brought out the sad bastard in me was the 19th Annual GLAAD Media Awards that were airing on Bravo.

GLAAD is the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, a wonderful organization whose mission is to promote and ensure fair, accurate and inclusive representation of people and events in the media as a means of eliminating homophobia and discrimination based on gender identity and sexual orientation. Whew. Mission statements suck. I deal with them daily, and they are still something I cannot totally wrap my brain around.

Anyway, I started watching the show, and it was more touching and empowering than any movie I've seen in the past four years (except for Shortbus... God, I'm so gay). Apparently Barbara Walters attended one of the first of these events 16 years ago, and at the time they were thrilled to have 200 people attending. She spoke about this during her acceptance speech after winning, in a tie, for “My Secret Self: A Story of Transgender Children.” The little boy-girl on the clip got my eyes wet and then so did Baba's speech.

And let me think, who else made me cry. I would have to say, EVERYONE. I seriously couldn't stop the weepies. Of course there were funny people too, I mean, Graham Norton was on, and he's pretty much the funniest gay Brit ever. And I don't know if you've ever seen the "teen" show Degrassi: The Next Generation, but it's awesome. I think it airs sometime during my hangovers. There are all these lesbos and STDs and stuff. I remember one episode where this girl who looks like she's 12 gives a BJ to this lame guy with a girlfriend and then both girls get the clap. I didn't know about the teen lessies till one appeared at the GLAAD awards, but obviously it is helpful for teens-- those STDs will scare 'em off of sex and the acceptance of same-sex relationships can make them experiment early. Get it over with before college.
All in all, I'm glad for GLAAD! (You knew that was coming, don't hate.)