Saturday, January 31, 2009

What's happening, bro?

Here's some upcoming goodness. 
PS14 has a new Thursday night, Happy House, with reduced price drinks. Rachel Goodrich, who I consider a great local talent, and the Jean Marie are playing Heathrow next Wednesday. 
If you're feeling porky, get on a freaking bike and roll out with the Loose Canons ride, go to Miami Bike Scene for more info. 
The Black Lips are coming in March, and I can't wait, I had to post the flyer! Ah! Finally.
There's an opening at the Dorsch tonight, "A Perfect Human," 7:00, 151 NW 24th Street. 

Friday, January 30, 2009

Big Shoulders Ball 2009: Andrew Bird, Freakwater, Tortoise, and more

The night before the inauguration, the Black Cat hosted the Big Shoulders Ball. 
It was an homage to Obama, featuring Chicago favs Tortoise and Andrew Bird along with other midwesterners and Chicagoans: Ted Leo, the Waco Brothers, Freakwater, and more. There was also a tribute to Sun Ra by Ken Vandermark. 

We showed up early because Freakwater was one of the first acts, and I absolutely love Catherine Ann Irwin. Her album Cut Yourself a Switch is amazing, lyrically and musically. Her song "Hex" is often covered by another brilliant songstress, Nico Case (I was brought to tears watching her sing this song at Webster Hall in '06). 

My companion was my cousin, who is more than a couple of years younger than I. I forgot to warn her that the scene would be a bit more aged than she was used to. That, and a bit more anglo. It was an Elvis Costello-type crowd, and yes, I fit in. 

Freakwater was amazing. Below you can watch them perform Stevie Wonder's "Signed, Sealed, Delivered" in honor of our new president. I ran into Catherine Irwin in the bathroom, both washing our hands at the same time, and I told her how much I love her album (this time I was the huge star-struck fan). We talked for a bit about their rendition of Stevie's song, and she said it was difficult to perform. I tried to reassure her that it looked effortless and that it was a wonderful tribute to our president. 

To all of our delight, at one point Andrew Bird, Sally Timms, and Eleventh Dream Day joined Tortoise on stage for a really powerful musical moment (didn't get a video, sorry). 

Andrew Bird sang, played guitar and violin, sounding a bit Jeff Buckley-esque, barefoot. In a Pitchfork interview, he says he finds this comparison a bit irritating, so my only hope is that Andrew Bird will read this become extremely offended and then start cyberstalking me. Please do, Andrew! What a cutie, my little cousin also fell in love. 

It was really a unique show and I would do it all over again, even though the price tag was high ($50) and the drinks were not included. I was glad to have had a little windy city in my District. Enjoy the video. 

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Miami, bro has finally had it with Matt Damon fans

Miami, bro has received some unwanted attention lately. I never thought I'd ever think to say these words, but I've had it with Matt Damon's fans. For the record, I am not a fan. Just wanted a jokey photo. 

Apparently, if you want people to understand what you're saying, you have SPEAK VERY SLOOOWWWLLY and not use sarcasm or hyperbole. My original story was a little exaggerated, but it's the tale I told, I'm not retelling it, even in my own defense. I just wanted to make one point, if I made as much money as Matt Damon, I wouldn't care if you guys took pictures of me on the toilet. 

I really wasn't that worked up over my run in with Matt "who gives a good goddamn" Damon, but I will admit, some of the accusations about my personhood kind of got my goat. Luckily, "my people" are on "my side," supporting the bro. 

I am shocked at how people are so willing to defame me (an anonymous woman) while deifying him (a privileged male), both strangers. It's not like I don't know how sexist and classist people can be, it's just surprising how savage they've been here. Let's just call these hypocrites, "people who read People." 

I don't put anyone above or below myself. I have talked to numerous celebrities over the years, and this was the worst experience I've ever had, thus the blog. I wasn't trying to get the Matt Damon Fan Club involved. They seemed to think I should call his agent, but then didn't leave a number. I mean, if I were that well-connected, I would have tried to interview Catherine Deneuve or Morrissey, someone who I think actually deserves the attention. 

More on this: 

Here's Carlos Miller's blog, with all the comments (I was called a "douchebag"by strange, strangers, old guys, 4 times).  

Riptide 2.0, one of the Miami New Times' blogs. 

This guy wrote a blog about my blog, not quite having the best understanding of what I originally intended. But here's his one cent. 

This is how I feel, MD Fan Club!!!!

Thanks for forwarding Fafi and Alfonso and thanks to those who support my right to be irreverent and, well, just who support my right to be me. 

Carter on Rose

Check it out here

This is brilliant: Colbert and McCartney

Wednesday, January 28, 2009


UPDATE: I did meet Jimmy Carter at Books and Books many years back at their old Coral Gables location, and he was as kind as could be, even to my mom, who is louder and more enthusiastic than I could ever be.

Hey haters, friends and people who aren't bright enough to understand sarcasm.

This lame-brained, "celeb obsessed" nobody stayed up really late last night to catch Charlie Rose's interview with my favorite famous person ever: President Jimmy Carter.

The interview isn't on his site yet, but please stay tuned. I know Charlie can be a bit of a snooze at times, but this show is undeniably insightful and you'll definitely learn a thing or two (especially the geniuses who anonymously leave me rude comments).
It should be up soon, click here.
That's me down there getting all CRAZY about Jimmy C., the most proactive former pres ever.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Rabbit is Dead

RIP John Updike.

It's just so me! (For the simpletons, I'm employing sarcasm)

I actually have some good news

I took this off of Crossfade. You may have already heard, and if you have heard, you must be thrilled.
I've been out of the loop, outta town, going out of town again. 
BUT, good news. 

The Black Lips are coming to Churchill's in March, there'll be another International Noise Conference this year on Feb. 12, and Animal Collective announced a June 9th date for playing Culture Room! Right on.

These are good things. 

The National Museum of the American Indian is Fabulous

Even though I know half of America was staying home and watching The Bourne Identity during the week of the inauguration, I actually enjoyed some of our nation's finest museums and dining. We ate a fabulous meal at the National Museum of the American Indian, also a Smithsonian institution. If you're anywhere near the National Mall for lunch, eat there. It's not cheap, but it's a really great way to try new Native foods.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Day After Inauguration- on the Mall

Is this demented?

Cute babies?

What's with the part where ugly babies need less love and attention?
Apparently cuteness breeds love. No wonder I'm so lonely!

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Inflatable Bush at Dupont Circle- Jan. 2009

Matt Damon hates my guts, and I hate his

Last night at Poplife, I had a good time. But you know who didn't have a good time there? Matt Damon. That's right. Will Hunting was at good old White Room, and he does not like me. 

I was enjoying the fact that there's two for one before midnight, and that I wasn't driving. I was loitering at the bar when the actor plopped himself next to me- though not facing me. I was aggressively friendly with Matt's friends in order to try and get myself a picture with him, all of whom tried to keep me away. I explained that I lived in Stoughton, my dad's from Brockton, I'm of Mass stock, too. I deserve a shot. Eventually, I realized that all niceties were useless, and I went in for the camera kill and got nothing but the top of his head. I just walked up and took a picture and they all started yelling at me, "this is not a zoo!" or "does this look like a ZOO???!!"
I stumbled away, and I really wasn't much but disappointed that I didn't get a face picture. 

On the other end of the spectrum, Le Tigre's JD Samson was really sweet and easy to talk to. I know she's not high prof like Matty, but my friend said some girl at Smith changed her name to JD when she changed genders. I think that makes her a big deal to at least some people. 

I have to say, I don't understand what the hell crawled up Matt's ass, but there was no reason for him to yell at me like that. He makes a shit ton of money, he is FAMOUS, why is he surprised some douche like me wants to take a picture with him for my blog? I am a goddamn nice person. I may be brutally honest, and hostile at times and a big bitch, but I am a kind human. I am nice to old people and animals. I always do people favors. I work to help children and sick people (when I'm employed). I volunteer occasionally. Who the hell is HE to talk to ME like that? Then, adding a cherry on top of this pretty sundae, one of his friend's friends, who his friend pawned me off on, like fell in love with Miami, bro, and trailed me the whole night. He wasn't bad or offensive or anything, but did he get me a picture? No. 

The other funny part was that my tab was open at the bar where he was sitting, so even after the yelling incident, I was stuck standing behind Mr. Damon. I don't even think he's a good looking guy. He has chronic keg face. It was just funny that Farrah and I stayed up late last week (with hives) in Emmittsburg to watch Good Will Hunting. I thought it was fated that we should take a picture together.

So, here I am reporting to you that Matt Damon is a crappy "star." I have met many a famous person in my day, and never have a met a ruder dude. And, yes, Matt and co, it did sort of look like a zoo. No offense actors, but you guys kind of are on display. 

Friday, January 23, 2009

Must Do: National Museum of American History

The National Museum of American History recently reopened after a two year renovation; it is a part of the Smithsonian collection. The building is lovely, and there are plenty of fun nuggets of pop culture and history that everyone can enjoy. 

Below you will see an American eagle, crying because you didn't vote. There is the ever famous Seinfeld puffy shirt: classic Americana. Stephen Colbert's portrait is framed there. He is the national father of comedy, as far as I'm concerned. There is the topless sculpture of George Washington, made by Horatio Greenough in 1840, which was once displayed outside the Capitol building. My brother is obsessed with Washington's chest. Last pictured here is C-3PO, shiny as ever, in the entrance area. 

Definitely visit this museum. It's free and fun. Can't beat it.  

Inauguration 2009, a bro's view

Finally, after days of roving the sub-zero hills of West Virginia, the frozen grounds of DC, of freezing my chin off, injuring my right eye from street dust and getting my second head cold this month, I'm back in Miami and here to report. 

I flew up to National Airport (my Aunt refuses to acknowledge it as Reagan), ready to brave the maddening number of dedicated, liberal onlookers, like myself, and the below freezing temps. I thought I was ready, at least. I was not ready.

The night before the inauguration my cousin Farrah and I decided we'd stay in, but since she lives on the loudest street in God's creation, we slept about two hours. My friend Rick was with us, as he worked two inaugural events, both of which included famous performers (think Smokey Robinson, Jon Bon Jovi-- he pissed next to Little Richard) and both of which included the Obamas, one being an official ball. My other friend Tyler drove straight through from Miami with two friends, slept 3 hours, watched the inauguration, ate Ethiopian and then drove all 20 something hours back home. Other than these four, the only other Miamian I knew up there is currently a New Yorker- Richard, and I haven't heard his experience yet. I hope it was tops.

Our troops rose at 8ish to walk down to the National Mall to greet our new liberal administration with smiles and cheers. After about a 40 minute walk, and the realization that we would not be getting anywhere near the Capitol, I mean NO WHERE near the Capitol, we lugged our frozen limbs a mile back toward where we came from, and were mostly separated by crowds and anxiety. At this point, we were back by the Washington Monument, our view was similar to what is pictured above. Since there were no jumbotrons (this was the word of the week- see there's one below- the huge TV) in sight, we moved a bit back and toward the White House, where there was a place we could hear better, and see some of the action taking place about an unobstructed mile away. 

We froze, and Farrah sulked that we weren't sitting on stage (a la Mariah Carey). I actually kept it together somewhat, well, more than I had at the concert (last post). And despite our incessant complaining, which made Rick want to smother us, I really think we made it through on anticipation. There was about a 10 second delay on the jumbotron, and it was mostly best to just close our eyes. 

The crowds cheered as our favorites walked out- Gore, Clinton, Ted (poor Ted), and even Farrah perked up when Jimmy Carter walked out. When G.W. Bush's mug flashed on screen, there were about 2 million boos and then a whole lot of "na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, Good-bye!"s. I felt kind of like it was wrong to mock the poor evil doer, so I only cheered when Farrah yelped toward the jumbotron: WAR CRIMINAL! As mocking isn't fair, but facts are, and he is a war criminal. 

When Rev. Rick Warren spoke the inaugural prayer, one guy next to me got down on one knee, with a US flag in his hand, raised toward the heavens, thanking God for this day. And when Rev. Rick Warren said the line, "We now commit our new president and his wife Michelle and his daughters, Malia and SASSSHHHHAAAA..." even the guy kneeling laughed at the Reverend's exuberant tone. It was hilarious, no explanation needed- you tube it. 

Then the moment came where we actually forgot that our toes were numb beyond any feeling and our noses were almost frostbitten: the swearing in! For all of the torture this day held, it was worth it for those moments when we shed the cloak of tyranny and we welcomed a new hope for the land of MY people and all of our people. I cried and hugged and we cheered. The speech was beautiful (click here for full transcript). It was only a few minutes versus the 8 hour trek, but to feel the world turn, change and the whole earth listening, our hearts were full of Goodbyes to the old and Thank Yous for the new, to feel the energy of that many like-minded people in one place (the population of Dade County); these were minutes of true worth. 

To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.

When we tried to leave, we were bound in by throngs of cold people with no crowd control. People knocked down fences; we were 2 million deep in chaos. Farrah mentioned how this reminded her of how the Palestinians must feel as they wait for hours at endless Israeli checkpoints, waiting to get to hospital, work or home. After an hour, the cops finally arrived and ushered us further from our destination- allowing tour buses to pass in front of us humans. The one moment of relief came when one daring dude ran along the porto potties, pictured below. Everyone laughed, then went back to complaining. 

I have more to report from this trip, but I want to flash forward to a moment I had on my way home at National (not Reagan) Airport. I was purchasing tons of Obama materials for my mother, and I started thinking about what this meant to the people around me. There were sorts from all backgrounds. There were many, many black people, certainly, but also many Hispanic, Asian, Native American, white. I thought about the black lady next to me (in fur), and how she must feel like- WE DID IT- we meaning those of African descent. But then I looked at this awkward white lady, probably of Eastern European descent, and I thought of how she sees this- WE DID IT- and for her it might mean what it means for me, the Other became the One. Outsiders became insiders. 

I didn't think we could win with Hillary, we're too far from that Other gaining power, but we did it with a half African, half white man. I am a Catholic-raised, white woman who is made from the stories and genes of Lebanese and Czeck immigrants who came over the turn of the last century, Irish immigrants who cleaned houses, French immigrants who came to Canada in the 1600s, and then to America, dirt poor, in the 1900s, and English settlers, who came around about the time of the Mayflower. I am a mix, like many Americans. I came from poor people, from farmers and city folk, from the same stock as other presidents as well. But I am not "pure" white like they were, not Protestant. I am though, an American. For me this means something different than it means for someone who was affected by Jim Crow laws, but it still means something huge for a mix like me, an activist like myself, for a lover of justice, and for any of us who want to see this world find peace. 

All the ladies, who're independent, throw your hands up at me

Obama's on our side ladies: check it. 

I'll be posting my firsthand account of inauguration 2009 as soon as my muscles defrost. 

Sunday, January 18, 2009

2009 Inaugural Concert- a bro's view.

Here are a few pictures from the inaugural concert which took place earlier today, attended by around 700,000 people, with Miami, bro representing the 305. I went with my cousin and kinda cuz Alfonso (a talented photographer who took the 2nd, 3rd and 5th photos). 

That first picture up there was taken at a local bar, but I think it needed to be included, as it rules.

I had a stressful time getting into the concert. We arrived a bit late and had trouble finding our way to an adequate viewing spot. Because of this, we missed viewing about the first half hour of the show, which included like my FAVORITES: Bruce Springsteen, Mary J. Blige, Jon Bon Jovi, and more. Here's the lineup: click. 

We were loitering at the ticket-only area after they closed the doors, and wouldn't let anyone else in, when we spotted Ed Harris and The Today Show host, Hoda Kotb, you can see I got a picture of her up there. Not too shabby. 

Once we made our way up to the Washington Monument, we finally became part of the crowd, joining in on the energy and peoplepower that made this election possible. 

Usher, Stevie Wonder, and Shakira performed probably the tightest performance of the day. Many of the biggest names in music that I've seen have been at political concerts like this one, but much smaller. It's kind of a subpar way to see such great names, but it's unique and personal, because you're kind of both at the same party, same ideals, same "friends." I had never seen U2 live before, and this was one of those moments when watching a performer, where I felt like we're in it together. Bono gave a shout out in support of Palestinian liberation, and people cheered like crazy. This is probably the only city in America where you would get a response like that about this topic (agreed upon by those of us discussing at Farrah's). U2 are Irish, and Northern Ireland is/was occupied territory; for years IRA freedom fighters were doing the same type of subversive fighting as Hamas.

Highlights of the event: 
At one point, they had two different bald eagles come out, both of which wigged out dirty style, flapping their wings like crazy. Everyone around us was like, WTF??? Totally a strange little moment in American history. Must be something "they do." I think Challenger is pictured above. They edited the bird part out of the HBO special. 
Bono: "This is not just an American dream, but also an Irish dream, a European dream, an African dream ... an Israeli dream and a Palestinian dream." Fighting against oppression. 
Garth Brooks singing American Pie and Shout: everyone really went nuts over these two songs. 
Ladies in fur: so many fur coats. Looked a bit like a battlefield. 
Dancing: Farrah and I did a little dance during This Land is Your Land, people with cameras liked that.
The Boss.
The Boss.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Stuff that there is to do, bro

Also, the party at Vagabond's Shake tonight is called Bros vs. Rockers. Had to mention. 

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Biggest News in Miami Fashion History Since Booty Shorts!

I was loitering around Lincoln Road the other day, and as it turns out, Base is now selling shoes from Opening Ceremony. I know I shouldn't advertise this, because I want to own all of them, but I couldn't resist sharing!
Opening Ceremony is a great New York boutique that sells the cute originals of which we buy Forever 21 knockoffs, a few weeks later.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

President Watchin'

Here's another option for watching Obama get sworn in. You can hit up the Arsht Center at 11 a.m.
More info: This is a free event with general seating, but reservations are encouraged.  A reservation does not guarantee admission; guests should arrive early and will  be admitted on a first-come, first-served basis. Walk-ups without reservations will be admitted on a space-available basis. Lunch will be available for purchase from Performing Arts Catering by Barton G.

Getting ready for a good political time, bro.

Obama-mania is in EFFECT, yo. I called my lil' cuz last night and asked if I should bring my Obama shirt with me to DC or if it was too cheesy to wear during the week's events. She told me that Obama-gear is all the rage in the Capitol. Head to toe, people are looking Barack-ish. I bought cheap, red jeans, but I don't think I'll be wearing the shirt, though maybe. Who knows? I definitely need to rep the 305 in the 202; maybe I'll bedazzle the shirt. 

Etsy has some really interesting suggestions for inaugural-wear. Click here.

Monday, January 12, 2009

THE Inauguration Party to Attend

What better place to watch the first half-African president get sworn into office than at Churchill's?
Human Services Coalition (HSC) will be hosting Hail to the Community Organizer in Chief on January 20th; it will cost $10, but it's for a good cause since all proceeds will go to HSC. If I weren't going to Washington, I'd definitely want to celebrate this historic occasion with these people. They are dedicated to building up the Miami-Dade community, and enacting policies that actually benefit people. They know what changes are important, and they actually do something about it.

Here's what HSC says about the event:
Being president of the United States is kind of like being a community organizer.... That's why Human Services Coalition (HSC) and its supporters invite you to celebrate the election of our first Community Organizer in Chief. We'll watch this historic occasion together and toast the arrival of the new administration. Join us for trivia games, cake, and well wishes for the new president. Cost: $10 (includes a champagne toast) The ceremony begins at 11:30 a.m., so arrive early to get a good seat and to claim your glass of bubbly. All proceeds benefit HSC. Visit

Bush's Last Time as Pres.

I caught the end of G.W. Bush's FINAL presidential press conference! It's almost over. Can you believe it's only 8 days away?
Over the last 8 years, I've often shied away from Bush's face, voice, ideas, away from his essence in every way. However, I thought, hey, what the hell, I'll listen to this dude talk for a minute. He clearly seemed frustrated and defensive about his policies, which is typical. Even more on par with his track record, he didn't fully or even sometimes, at all answer questions the way they were asked. I'm not going to say he's without his "charm," he is jokey, in a very traditionally un-presidential way, but I will say that he is a doof. He said Obama was a better "speech-maker" than he was, proving a point with his awkward wording.

Anyway, it seems it is the end of an era for the nation. I will be flying up to DC for the inauguration festivities. This is the time to celebrate a new beginning and a new approach to politics. Congratulations, America, we're getting somewhere, finally.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Classic, bro: electroclash and backyard partying

Funny Muppets and plush people. 
Thanks Kelsey and Eddie. 

Friday, January 9, 2009

It's the Weekend, BRO.

This Saturday is art walk, but I am going to skip it again this month. My advice is to go the Design District early, load up on decent drinks, then loiter around Wynwood, look at art, and then at 10 go over to 2020 for a Busch.  
The Holy Terrors will be playing at Churchill's on Saturday night with their original drummer who now plays with Interpol. Don't miss it! Also on Saturday, Poplife will celebrate its one year anniversary at White Room. 
Vagabond has proven to have a popular and fun Friday night, and I'm sure it'll be a good option tonight. 

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Can you, a little softer? Just a tiny bit?

So, though we are now in 2009, this beautiful poster still speaks of something special to us all... It says graffiti with eyeliner and bit of concealer can make "rock" into "fuck" (good job Nathan and Amanda). It asks us to move slowly, and in a sexual manner, into this joyous new year. Essentially, it speaks of the wonderful night that Raffa hosts on Wednesdays at Churchill's. So tomorrow, before or after you hit up the Nightdrive, head over to my favorite place to see Alina Hevia, one of my oldest friends (Carver Middle, yo), and Ravelstein, one of my favorite people, perform for your audio amusement. 
Hope to see you there! 

Waterford Landing here, bro.

Isn't Alex Caso great? I think so, and so does the Miami New Times' blog CrossFade. Download his mix here

Gay Equality, Bro

I know you all love protests! Well, you don't, but I do, and it's my blog, so here ya go, bros. 

Join the Impact Miami will be hosting a protest to encourage President Elect Barack Obama to stand up against homophobia and repeal the Defense of Marriage Act.

Monday, January 5, 2009

SNL Represents in Congress - Finally!

Al Franken, author of one of the funniest books of all time, Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot, was just declared the winner of the long debated and recounted race for one of the two Minnesota senatorial seats. 
Read about it here
I think Franken as Stuart Smalley sums it up nicely: 

Midweek Funnin'

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Human Rights, Anyone?

Protest the bombing of Gaza. Stand up for humanitarian ideals! 
Read my blog entry or any human rights periodical to understand why it is necessary to protest! 
WHEN: Sunday, January 4th; 1PM-4PM 
WHERE: Israeli Consulate in Miami (West of Bayside); look for a building called "New World Tower" 
ADDRESS: 100 N. Biscayne Boulevard
- Items will not be allowed:
. Face covers, Sticks, knifes, guns, any kind of weapons.
. Burning Flags will not be allowed. 
. Hateful statements & Explicit language not permitted. 
(These will not achieve our community's goals and should not be practiced around our children)
Sponsoring Organizations: South Florida Palestine Solidarity Network, Muslim American Society, Association of Muslim Americans of North America, Palestinian-American Organization (Palm Beach County), A.N.S.W.E.R. Coalition (Broward + Palm Beach), and others.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Lincoln Road During the Season

I've been busy with the family and the holidays, so I haven't been able to write much, or think at all, or even groom myself. So, my blogging has fallen to the wayside. However, I now have a load of stuff on reserve. 

Right before X-mas, there was a crew of santa-types parading, shitfaced, down Lincoln Road - pictured above. I like people who try to keep the holidays fun. Thanks, guys.  

At the Art Center South Florida, there is an awesome display of vintage Japanese toys on loan from Prof. James B. Levy and Mark Nagata, obviously obsessives. I especially like the toys with womanly body parts, like the boob head and monster with legs. I know nothing about these except that they're funny in a good way. 

Lincoln Road continues to be one of the most pleasant places in Miami. I went down there tonight for a hot cocoa at Ghiradelli's and a stroll in the "cool" air. We tried to go to the gay night at Buck 15, but the fire marshals got there first. It tis a worthy gay night, I believe, and I hope they don't shut it down. Check it out, Thursday nights. Also, I wanted to mention that Van Dyke has the bomb turkey burgers. Hot damn. I always get one when I go there, and it's like the perfect burger- just ask for avocado, cheddar and bacon. Mmmmm. Enjoy.