Thursday, December 27, 2007

Fudged up world

Here's what I awoke to this morning. It was the only thing that got me out of my stupor.

Click on Benazir Bhutto's picture to read her obituary. The man always has to find some way to keep a strong woman down. And I guess assassination is the easiest way.

2007, you have done me so very right and so very wrong

This weekend a few things sound like Miami fun.
Like Avenue D, Otto and Jacuzzi Boys, etc. tomorrow at Studio A (so many letters: D A F U C K, whatever...). This'll be decent or better than decent, fun even? Also, Mellowdrone is playing Poplife at the White Room on Saturday.
I'll be having a my "girl's night" with the fucktabulous Stephanie Hutin ( or and I'm sure we'll be Miaming it up for her return from the City of Angels.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007



Jamaica Plain

Bruce Lee spotting:

Boston Museum of Fine Arts

This one reminds me of
The Fisher King:

Friday, December 14, 2007

Basel, bro. I swear, dawg. Madness!

Hey there mi leetle bros.

Art Basel has snuck in and out yet again. I'm going to brag about all the great shit I did last week here:

On Sunday, we hit the Shelbourne, b/c it was my Lil' Monds' b-day. I drank too much and this was a mistake, so early in the week... so I took Monday off.

Tuesday: We paid $15 to get into the NADA opening. I like going to NADA, b/c they always have art that puts a little smile on me face (like a little leprechaun!). We saw Deerhoof perform (second time this year) and Ken Kagami danced around on stage with stuffed fruit and such. It was pretty neat. We then went to the Galerie Emmanuel Perrotin and danced like dorks and drank like pigs at the trough. After we sang karaoke at Spiderpussy- I sang "Your Cheatin' Heart" and Nathan belted out a fabulous "Return to Innocence." Rad, bro.

Wednesday: We visited the containers on Collins and 22nd and I saw about 2 seconds of Iggy Pop before I bolted to the Raleigh to sneak into the Deitch Projects Cocorosie performance. I made it, I drank their vodka and champagne and I took their gift boxes of Mac makeup-- I took two boxes! And the performance was hella cool so was The Voluptuous Horror of Karen Black which was not horrible but voluptuous. We saw nipples. No lie. You missed it.
We then met up with Nathan "under a bridge" and they were serving free Belvedere, which is the first time I've ever seen that... and I've been drinking for free for well over 10 years. We ended up at PS again and then I realized it was retardedly late and I rushed home.

Thursday: We went to the MAP Magazine party at Heist. It was fun- tons of freebees, made me happy. Then I can't even remember what else we did...

Friday: Ariel Pink show at Studio A--- supa ass kickin'. I'll be posting video on You tube this week.

Saturday: Wynwood walk. Walkedy walk and then White Room. At this point, I was sweating cocktails. I started to lose it and I finally made it home to bed.

I'll have pics soon! Hold your breath!

Friday, November 30, 2007

There's something sad about extinction.

The National Wildlife Federation is brilliant at marketing, well, brilliant at marketing to people like me, who love small, stuffed animals. For $30 you can donate money to your near-extinction animal of choice and you get a teddy bear, or a turtle bear, I mean, turtle, lynx or whatever. Anyway, it's plush and cuddly.

Click on those sad bastards below to get a peek at X-mas at its best.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Bro, Lanvin Spring 2008 Ready-to-Wear Collection Kicks Ass

These made me so excited that I peed a little! Too bad the models are ugly.

Fight the Power, bro

I know this is in NYC, but it's an important resource.

NYC United for Peace and Justice Alert 212-868-5545 Click to subscribe

Start a Peace Group in Your Neighborhood!
Workshop, Wed. Dec. 12, 6:30 - 8:30 p.m.

Many people are asking the question: How are we going to end this war? NYC-UFPJ is responding with a Neighborhood Organizing Project to get more and more people involved in taking a stand for peace.
We are providing training and resources to people who want to start a peace group in their neighborhood (school, house of worship, etc.)Very local neighborhood based organizations reach people who are opposed to the war but haven't known how to get involved.
They make activism accessible! And there is not set menu for these types of groups. It could be a small group of just a few people or a larger group and the group could organize occasional events or have more elaborate plans of weekly or monthly meetings or actions.
Mostly importantly, neighborhood groups provide a way for people to be doing something to end the war with like-minded people in their communities.You can make this happen in your neighborhood! Join us for a training session on Wednesday, Dec. 12 on how to start a peace group in your neighborhood.
It will take place from 6:30 - 8:30 p.m. at the UFPJ office, 630 9th Ave, suite 216, between 44th and 45th Sts. Experienced organizers will give you the nuts and bolts for how to begin.

These are some of the questions that we will discuss.
What are the steps for creating a new group?
What kind of meetings do people enjoy and want to attend?
What are the elements of a successful group?
What activities and projects can neighborhood groups organize?
When is it important for local groups to work independently and when should they work together?

Please call 212-868-5545 or email to RSVP.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Fight the Good Fight

Thank God these CRAZY HIPPIES are still out there on the street, by Bayfront Park at the "Torch of Friendship," protesting the war. I gave up, myself. I am easily discouraged, and after the last presidential election, I really threw in the towel (flag). I think I might go to a protest again next chance I get. I think you should, too! I'll keep you updated.

Weekend in November

Saturday night's gallery walk was really busy. Maybe it was the sweet, cool weather, but the streets were full of people out and about, scouting for drinks and glancing at art. I arrived pretty late, and I missed bands playing at the Dorsch but I liked all the work at the Space Command show. I was a little intimidated by Nick's interactive piece, but I thought it was really kick ass and I think he's a genius, or something like that. It's just that I don't want to touch art. I want the person I'm with to do it, and if they fuck something up, I'm out.

Then we went to Amendment XXI and I have to say, Edgar was spinning some pretty danceable music. I was thrilled to hear some good, old-fashioned dancey tunes, from Buju to Deee-Lite (yeah, I'm old and cheesy, so what?). There were free drinks for ladies 11-12.

We then went to this new Poplife night at the White Room. The highlight was the photo booth that was hooked up to a large screen. I pretty much don't remember most of the pictures taken, but here's a taste, and I'm in there. Oh boy, am I there. Anyway, who in Miami hasn't seen my ass?!

So, I drank too much and showed too much skin. But I had fun. I thought the new venue was refreshing, the bartender was really nice and generous and I love inside/outside partying.

Friday, November 9, 2007

NO MOZ, some Chloe

Tragically, Morrissey was out of commission last night, and his illness RUINED my evening! Anyway, I'm so sad about it. All day I had him on my mind, and it was a tragedy for me. Then, on top of losing out on singing along with my hero, Ticketmaster charged me $4.80 as a processing fee for the refunded tickets!

Enough complaining. We went to this bar on Miami Beach instead, Abraxas, on Meridian and 4th, and it had a great beer selection. However, on top of the yummy beer, Chloe Sevigny was there, drunk as hell, in a leopard print dress. I'll have a pic to post later. I was impressed, not by her acting or style, but rather that she was in such a random place on Miami Beach.

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Bro, Nick, Bro

I'm posting this because Nick is my bro, and one of the funniest, funnest people I've ever met. (I know funnest is not a word, go with it.)


I know I already mentioned this, but I am very, super psyched about seeing Morrissey tonight.
I'm sure you've all read about how much Mexican-Americans LOVE the MOZ. If not, here's a link.

Apparently Mexicans love Morrissey and The Smiths more than the rest of us. Can you believe that?
I spent hours crying and singing to this man's music, I deserve recognition. Make a movie about my adolescence and how David Marshall taped a small Morrissey/Smiths library for me and how I memorized every lyric while printing out tickets to Rocky Horror and other such movies at Riviera Cinema.
I feel like I should change my name to Selena and wear a poncho. I ate Taco Rico for lunch, that counts for something. I know it. I feel you Mexicans, I do.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007


This is my family:

Call Me an Old Gay

I'm totally going to see Morrissey, for only the second time in my life, this Thursday at Jackie Gleason! Don't look so jealous. I could die to Bona Drag.

But bro, like, I just wanna get fucked up and shit...

For good boozers

Fox's Sherron Inn
6030 South Dixie Highway
Everyone has their favorite place to pound a few drinks, right? Well, Fox's is mine. I mean, that doesn't take away from my profound love for, say, Churchill's, but there is something special about Fox's. I grew up right down the street, they have Patsy Cline on the FREE jukebox, 2-4-1 on Tuesday and Saturdays, old guys who like to just chat, not hit on you, darkness at 3 p.m., carafes of martini, the list goes on and on. Granted, the beer selection leaves something to be desired, but, there is food until late as hell, and I like the navy bean soup.
The Tuesday nights have become less than savory. Lots of young people dressed like they're hitting South Beach, if South Beach were ruled by hipsters. And the music has gone to shit on these 2-4-1 nights, but any other day or night, I say alright baby. If you stole that ceramic fox from Fox's I think you should return it. Also, you can walk to Sunset Tavern to play some pool, or to Booby Trap for boobies. Fox's is home.

Churchill's Pub
5501 NE 2nd Ave
My favorite Churchill's story is one that actually took place outside. If you've ever been before, you know that this location provides the most vile bathrooms the world has to offer. I mean, just putrid. I was there on Friday and there was a bloody maxi pad in the toilet, no lie. Back to the story. I had to pee, and I forced my brother to join me as a watch guard as I walked down the street to an empty lot to empty my bladder. As we walked, a lady with huge pendulous, naked breasts, wearing only her rib-high underwear, opened her screen door to yell at people across the street. My brother missed her, but I'll never forget this moment. Thanks Churchill's.
Not to scare you away. This is the best place in Miami to hear live music, hands down. They have great beer, they have booze, they have Strongbow on tap, man. I saw Dick Dale play there, most of my friends perform, I have read poetry, myself (don't mock), saw Costes "Little Birds Shit", I mean, really. Also, I have always dreamt of dating a Churchill's bartender.

The Bar
172 Giralda Ave
Coral Gables
At first, I thought The Bar was kind of overrated. However, after I started going to Tuesday night, Ladies' Night, I became hooked. Also, they give you free wings with a pitcher on Sundays. Shit like that makes me feel good about a place. The beer is good, good beer, booze. Corny jukebox, not far from home. I really think they have the best wings in Miami, overall.

The Abbey Brewing Company
1115 16th Street
Miami Beach
The Abbey is every beer drinker's favorite. If you don't drink beer, tough titties. They have very potent beers (The Abbey Quadruple), and a nice atmosphere. Old-timers and beach types intermingling. They took out the dart board, and honestly have lost MAJOR points with me on this, however, it's one of the best spots in Miami.

The Room
100 Collins Ave
Miami Beach
Hmmm. I once hated the Room. Now I like it. One complaint, there isn't enough cider (usually one on tap and another unpasturized one in a big bottle). There's no booze either. The Room, though, is the best place to end a long night of drinking on Miami Beach. It's a little too sceney for me, but I like the little coves you can sit in by the window and the bathroom usually had soft TP.

PS 14
28 NE 14th Street
One might say that the first 2 years this place opened, I spent at least 3 nights a week there. You might also say that I still spend entirely too much time at PS, but it's so much better than any other bar/club in Miami. The music, lately, has started to all sound the same, but I love this place for live music, pool, and my buddies. Someone always gets rowdy here and I appreciate the spirit of craziness.

Club Deuce
222 14th Street
Miami Beach
Cash only. Good jukebox. Creepy place. Great decor.

Flanigan's Seafood Bar and Grill
2721 Bird Ave
Coconut Grove
One word: ribs.

So, I thought I'd start writing for fun instead of money

...also, I'm obsessive, so I'd like to keep track of my thoughts and ideas. I live in Miami and I know alot about this goofy city. I figured I'd share my wealth of knowledge with those interested in places that don't suck, places that suck, and places that are like super cool, bro. Here goes me.