Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Finally listening to music that came out last year, bro

It's great to listen to music, is it not? You can hear full albums on Pitchfork: Staff List: The Top Albums of 2009.

Also, what's this happening at Jimbo's?

Monday, December 28, 2009

Holidays and stuff

I have much to catch up with you on, but I am currently without the photos which make me feel safe and save me some typing time. Here are a few things barely worth noting.

1. Good news! I've been reassured that Fox's will be around in its current capactity for at least a few more years. I guess that means I'll be around for a few more as well.

2. News alert: the holidays suck. They are disappointing and soul-crushing. One way to alieviate holiday pain is to read Patrick Dennis' The Joyous Season. It serves to remind that you are not the only one made miserable by Christmas and that it's really easy to laugh when things are sad and funny.

3. My parents and I ate at La Cote at the Fontainebleau for Christmas.
Depressing and WASPy? Yes. Potentially '60s glam? Potentially. I guess since no one wanted to fly down to spend the holidays with us, we were forced to spend more money than is appropriate to eat in public. When we arrived, they were already done serving their Christmas meal and the portions were small. It's always nice to eat out by the pool at a fancy, historical hotel, so I wouldn't totally pooh-pooh it.

4. I made a trip up to Tampa, more to come on that.

5. Does anyone want to make me a mixed tape or CD? I want. Thanks.

6. This was from Daily Candy today. It is stellar:
Old Acquaintance, Soon Forgot
End-of-the-Decade Fill-in-the-Blank

Dear ___ [name of frenemy],

After reflecting on our ___ [Freudian term] relationship, I realized that you suck the energy out of me like ___ [2009 vampire protagonist]. My therapist told me to get everything off my ___ [body part], so here goes:

Truth is, I never liked going ___ [trendy retro leisure sport] with you. I’m not your personal ___ [pathetic reality TV sidekick]. And it’s no secret that you ___ [past-tense verb] my boyfriend. I’d ask if you were on ___ [prescription drug], but I already know the answer, since you stole it from my ____ [aging relative].

Of course, there were magical times (guzzling whiskey cocktails at ___ [favorite NYC gastropub], charging clog boots at ___ [favorite indie boutique] on your mom’s credit card), but I want to move into 2010 as a healthy, ___ [positive emotion] person.

I do blame you for my ___ [sign of aging] but otherwise no hard feelings. Here’s to making 2010 as drama free as ___ [PBS documentary title].

Love,___ [your name]

Monday, December 21, 2009

Breaking News (to me) - Fox's has been sold!

I have had my string of bad luck and terrible feelings lately, but right now, I want to throw up and cry at the same time. I've heard that my beloved neighborhood bar has been sold. It was overheard that they would be renovating Fox' s for $1 million. Why, God, why???

Seriously, on top of watching Precious and finishing Sherman Alexie's Absolutely True Diary of a Part-time Indian (which was wonderful but miserable), I think I might give up right now. The only thing anyone should change about Fox's is to bring back Allison and buy a new ceramic fox to face the back door. If that costs a million bucks then I'm alright with that. I need more information.

Please, say it ain't so!

Bro, that movie was real sad, bro

I don't have a ton to say, but I have been watching movies a bit lately and so I've been thinking of other movies to watch. It's a sort of domino effect. You watch one, and you feel you have to watch them all. I have that sensation now, except with Avatar, that's right nerdly haters.
The other day, I watched Precious. I mentioned I was really psyched to see Mariah Carey with a beard, but the truth is that she kind of looked charmingly cute with le moustache. I even thought Precious was kind of a cutie. But this film isn't all about looks, it's got mad substance, bad substance too, and every kind of pain imaginable.
When I say that you really need to see this movie, I mean it. Many movies that show cruelty like this, the most severe sort, tend to desensitize someone like me. My brother and I walked out of Schindler's List for that reason. The misery becomes overwhelming and then its easier to shut down. Maybe that's why Jerry Seinfeld made out during Spielberg's epic, who knows?

Though Precious overwhelms, and the script and cinematography manage convey a strong, "life is horrible" sensation, there is a constant crutch of hope. Sure the end is miserable and mostly hopeless, but throughout the movie, there are many wonderful people that seem to guide Precious, just as she is wonderful in guiding herself.

I have my favorite lines, like "my favorite color is florescent beige," said by a classmate and of course my Facebook status, which I got a little wrong, but which is my new favorite thing to run around my head, "The other day, I cried. I felt stupid. But you know what? F*** that day." My friend Amanda noted that this was a sentiment also reflected in Anne of Green Gables, "Marilla, isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?" I don't know, but I feel like I relate to Precious' words better.

I thought this film was sadder that the saddest movie I've ever seen, Dancer in the Dark. I was so traumatized by Dancer in the Dark though, that I managed to block out the plot for years, only remembering that I cried for an hour after it finished. Precious is sort of an unforgettable tale and one that I won't be able to forget, just like I won't forget weeping heartily through the second half of the movie. I don't want to forget it though. That's someone's reality, and I don't get off on the misery of others, but it's good to be informed.

There's tons of talk about this being an Oscar-worthy performance by Monique. I'm not a movie critic, but I still believe she deserved the Academy Award for Phat Girlz.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Rainy daze, bro.

I know it's raining, and rain in Miami tends to equate to soul-killing sadness, but try and get out tonight and enjoy the humid air. Vagabond will be worth checking out.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Mayer Christmas, bro

Flavorwire, posted a list of 100 Gifts for 100 Cultural Icons, which you may have already seen. They're not all relevant, nor universally interesting, but there are a few cute things on there.

I had to post what these editors thought would be a good holiday gift for J. Money Mayer: mixed race chicks (they just wrote, "chicks," but just look at those babies, I could just eat them).

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Are two wheels better than four?

Last night, I went by the Bike Film Festival at the Colony Theater. I caught the 9:00 show, which involved a bunch of shorts, many of which mostly bored me and others that were incredibly enjoyable.

A couple of the films were identified by myself and my friend Ivan as "bike porn." This would define oddly and sexily edited shots of people riding bikes around major cities. Other films showed races with cyclists navigating their way through moving, oncoming traffic, sort of like Frogger with human flesh involved.

Although I have trouble sitting still for hours, one of the longest films tickled me pink. "The Scraper Bike King" was about these kids living in the ghettos of Oakland that hook their bikes up to look like candy brands and place colored material on their wheels. First of all, the kids are awesome and hilarious. The Scraper Bike King is like 20 years old and thinking super big (bro). He mentioned the eco-friendly nature of biking (thinking globally) and also expressed hope that they might receive sponsorships, hence the logos on their bikes. So entrepreneurial! There was a funny scene where they start talking Obama. The bikes look adorable and I was almost inspired enough to come home and put some foil on my bike. You must see this movie.

I'm having trouble finding their shirts on the Web. I thought it might be the awesomest X-mas gift ever (Jimmy, you're getting one if I ever find them on here).

All in all, if you weren't there, you missed a neat night out.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Bro, I got a press pass, bro

The Convention Center - Art Basel 2009

At Deitch Projects, they enjoy black icons.

My friend Venessa spotted a live ladybug on a David Hockney, one of the few paintings I saw that I'd want to hang on my wall at home. This is one of many ladybugs that have appeared in my path recently. I hope they being me some good luck because Lord knows I need it.

This was a neat installation where you were looking in on a warm cabin on one side and out into the cold on the other. Fairgoer favorite.

Fountain Art Fair was grassrootsy. There was a really neat, raised sauna where drunk young people sweat out all their beer. One saunite even ended up puking and passed out, locked in the bathroom. Don't ever drink in the sauna. Ever.

Chairlift performed at Fountain. The lead singer spent about a full hour doing a bizarre and loud sound check, replete with "whooo"s and "haaa"s and complaints about everything from feedback to speaker volume. Then, during the performance, the sound went out.

Scoping out sh-t, bro

All over the place, people were making public art murals. I believe it was on the official Basel agenda. This is Os Gemeos.

I thought Scope had the best art for your buck, though I didn't make it to every festival, so, what the hell do I know? Above was an animation of a scene from The Exorcist. It was very funny. There's cartoon Linda Blair spitting in the priest's eye.

After Scope, I can't even remember what we did, but my best friend was in from London and we hit up the Bruce Weber signing at the Standard. Bruce is such a cuddly looking bear. Marc Jacobs was present with his bf. My gay card was revoked because I didn't recognize MJ. Otherwise, I did peep a ton of cute, male models.

After the signing and dinner at the Standard, Miami Beach seemed a royal-pain-in-the-ass-clusterfuck of invite-only, private parties that looked less than fab in my uninvited mind. We went by the Raleigh and as we were sipping on overpriced drinks, a crew of people ran by us down to the sand; we followed. Apparently, artist Terence Koh led the procession, and James Franco and Kalup Linzy were in the crowd of probably 60 people. Details are on the NYTimes blog.

After the festivities, we hit up the Deuce which was incredibly packed with what appeared to be New Yorkers. Note for next year - Basel loves the Deuce.

I spy James Franco?

It's stages, bro

Probably the best party this Basel was Stages which took place on Biscayne and 8th Street, an address I had to arrive at before I could even imagine where it was located. But what a great space it was! The party was hosted by a slew of people, but specifically the Lance Armstrong Foundation. Stages is a reference to the stages of cancer, which Armstrong had and overcame. Then then he dumped his wife when she had it.

The artwork was top of the line - here's a link with more details.
That's me in front of a Richard Prince.

Shepard Fairey djed and free drinks and snacks abounded. The reason I was psyched to go was Bradford Cox from Deerhunter was performing as Atlas Sound. He is amazing. I was just so into it. I know it's not party music, but he's so talented.

When I went up to ask for a picture, he said to me, "I just met you 2 seconds ago, but I know I like you." Eat that, Matt Damon. What a sweetheart!

There's Laney, himself.

Here's my little blogger section:
There's Superbee and below I saw Rydel from Miami Bike Scene standing behind an arty, party bike, so I had to take a pic since it seemed appropriate.

No, Nothing, NADA

The pickles were my favorite thing at NADA. Pickles, mmmmm.
This is on my X-mas list, boys. Keep it in mind.
2020 Gallery representing Miami
If you know me, you know the saying I live by is, "Taco Bell, you are my boyfriend."
These were amazing. They're done by Luke Butler who paints scenes from Star Trek when bad shit's happening. I thought they were funny, but apparently, they're supposed to be kind of sad.
This was my second favorite.

Going all around, bro

My best friend flew in from London and, of course, his flight was delayed. By the time we reached the beach, we had missed the Vernissage (this is like my third time I've attempted to attend and did not make it).
The Art Center had a really great opening, packed with people and the work was mostly influenced by street and graffiti art. It's still up, go check it out.
There were no containers this year, which wasn't entirely surprising because last year kind of sucked. They did have free bbq, expensive drinks and this huge installation which was relatively boring, but neat enough as it looked like a strange, glowing village.

The Bass was happening, and although this exhibition went up about a month back, it's a goody!

As usual, we went by the Raleigh for the private Deitch party, but this is the first year I didn't bother sneaking past the bouncer to get to the tables. I think this was probably because there were half as many tables as last year and the people actually stayed at them throughout the concert. Usually they leave and we can sit at their tables and drink their leftovers. Proof of a sour economy, I suppose. Santigold performed and I thought it was a visually interesting experience. It was a little bit of a snooze only because we were sober and it was the hottest most humid night I've had in Miami, maybe ever. She had these two synchronized dancers in MC Hammer garb that stopped for extended periods and then started dancing again at the same time without looking at each other.
In order to end the night, we hit up PS14, which had been "transformed" into Max Fish, the LES bar. I thought it looked really good inside, a lot like Max Fish, but we went the next night too, and it was packed, slow and there was no dancing. They had laid back musical acts inside, and no music at all out back, except what was blaring over the wall from Vagabond. Either way, it was a good place to run into friends.

These people started with their fire throwing and everyone expressed a fear of getting burnt. But, of course, I wasn't scared, even when the flames from the baton landed at my foot. I didn't tip them because they almost seared me. They understood.

Basel, bro: day 1

Since this is essentially a journal for me, I have taken my sweet time to put up my Basel pictures and such. I also finally started a full-time job (yay!), so I had to focus on waking up early this week, which means going to bed before the time of my peak productivity.

I had a fun, but not insane, Art Basel this year and I would say that I saw more art last week than any one person should experience in about five years. Tuesday was sort of the busiest night. I started at Art Miami where they were handing out cotton candy (above), which is all the craze these days, but I can't have more than a few licks. I ended up in the Design District most of the night. At Exhibit 101, they had a hallway made of some sort of tarp and video work tucked into corners of the material. A photo shoot was taking place where the ladies were clothed in suits that looked like naked ladies' bodies. I don't have much to say about that, except the pictures turned out pretty nice despite the trite concept, and there was free Grey Goose with organic Arizona iced tea. Not a tasty combo.
The Moore Space was transformed into some sort of high end boutique which featured a Fendi bike and this furry Fendi guitar. I didn't leave coveting anything, but I did leave with quite a buzz. There were a few cute waiters who provided endless, full wine glasses of champagne.
We wandered about and went to the Friends With You store which was in the Buena Vista Building. I hope it stays open in that space. We wandered across the street to check out the David LaChapelle opening. Forgettable.

The Perrotin Gallery, which had been rumored to have closed, was open and, once again, in full-fun effect. Packed with Frenchies and locals, this is such a Basel highlight. Last year I tried to hook Pharell up with some friends, but this year, I left him be. We danced, we spilt red wine on my Opening Ceremony shirt (thanks Dylan!) and then we chatted and danced again.

After all of that madness, it was clear I was not driving home. We did manage to make it to Churchill's where we saw Kreamy 'Lectric Santa perform. Back in town after years away, now currently settled in San Francisco, this classic Miami, rock band really made everyone feel good. I have to say, what a great time and a wonderful set. It was Churchill's at it's finest.