Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Leaving town, a neurotic rant

I am, in fact, heading out of town. Don't get too excited at my absence. I'm heading to Washington DC first, for my brother's wedding, and then straight out to Los Angeles for the uniting of my friends Stephanie and Flo.

Yes, this will be a long trek. It's always difficult to reconcile the mixed feelings traveling stirs up. It's an excruciatingly exciting experience. It's excruciating because of the tension created by leaving behind my home and especially leaving behind my cat (I just bought cat food and wine at Walgreens at midnight - feel free to mock away). My family's sixteen year old dog and her younger companion will be kept by friends and strangers. All I can think about is their fates. I just left a long contact list for my massive feline, in case he gets lonely. I wonder if I ever have children, will they ever leave my side?

The excruciating part of the experience is the anxiety that accompanies the leaving behind of your responsibilities and obligations. Anxiety is a cruel thing that creeps and strangles. I may start thinking casually about all the miles I'll be trapped in the cabin of an airplane over the next two weeks, but eventually that casual thought can turn into an all out hideous mental scenario that involves actual hyperventilation and tears.

The exciting part about leaving town includes the stuff optimists and people who cruise speak of. You get to get "away from it all." It's time to "focus on yourself" or "enjoy life." Of course, these are elements of the travel experience, but when I vacation, I don't enjoy downtime too much, I don't like to get too far away from a drug store, and I am focused on getting as much adventure and friend time out of each excursion. So, not very relaxing, but exciting in the best way possible. Enriching.

For instance, I'm leaving town to celebrate the union of four people to whom I am close. But weddings are excruciating in many ways, with their obligatory meetings and dinners, and the big day itself, so it takes extra effort to find time to spend quality with your friends and family and to make the experience exciting. While in DC, I'll be bombarded with family, and though I wanted to take a side trip to Harper's Ferry, I may not be able to. On the other hand, I'll be making a visit to Joshua Tree to recoup before flying home. Anyway, it'll be nice to see the whole crew and hopefully the reality won't be as stressful as it's looking in my mind.


about us said...

bro, you'll be alright...it'll be way better than the tortuous crap you anticipate in your mind...i promise!

Stephanie said...

Thanks for coming bro, it would not have been that same without you.