Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Hoofin' it on Beale Street

Chris' birthday fell on the Saturday that we were in Memphis and he wanted to check out some blues music on Beale Street. Since it's right off of the Mississippi, Beale Street was originally established as a main commerce strip around the mid-nineteenth century. Even back then, black musicians played on Beale, and eventually it became the major center of blues music. Also, pretty impressive for the deep south, many of the businesses on the street were owned by African Americans over the last 130 years.

Nowadays, Beale is a tourist strip which features large neon signs naming various blues bars and even a Wet Willies. I thought it might be a bit South Beach, but fortunately it had a character all its own that was enjoyable. A few blocks are roped off so that you can wander the streets as drunk as you like. They sell "big ass beers" on the street in gigantic cups. A la NYC subway style, little boys tumbled down the street for money and the entertainment of gawking tourists. We went to a place called Mr. Handy's Blues Hall to see an old dude and his eclectic band perform, Dr. Feel Good and Potts Band. It was fun and bluesy, and I was really into the Asian guitarist with long hair and Bret Michaels bandana. 

I drank too much, started in on the $2 jello shots and wandered about. That's when I made a friend, Disco Felix, a comedian (below). He told me some amusing jokes, none of which I remember. Beale had a really mixed crowd racially, but it was mostly black. There were these sheets hanging, spray painted with Memphis images in front of which a photographer would take your picture and print it out on the spot. I, of course, wanted one, and I waited a good half hour, made friends with a dude who was definitely on the DL and got one of the funniest pics of my life. I'll share later once I find a scanner.

After many drinks we ate some ribs at a place called Miss Polly's Soul City Cafe. It was scrumptious. 

That last picture down there is for my brother. In Miami, our mannequins have gigantic boobs, but in Memphis, they have humungous booties. Either way, extremely amusing. 




Sunday, May 10, 2009

Hoofin' it at the Cupboard


I ate at this place called The Cupboard in Memphis. Southern food. The sides were out of this world, like out. of. this. world. That coleslaw made my heart melt. I'm in love, I tell ya! There's some corn pudding up there that was just sweet enough and not too pudding-y. Chris' chicken fried chicken was apparently good, but my fried chicken left something to be desired. It was a bit dry, sadly. 

Two highlights were: a car in the parking lot displayed a classic bumper sticker that once was pasted all over my car and house - Attack Iraq No! That's right, homies, original anti-war propaganda. There were other cars with liberal bumper stickers and all golden oldies eating inside. Old southern liberals warm my soul. 
The other highlight was the triptych of presumably three important dudes, hanging by the bathroom. The one on the right is my absolute favorite. His eyes and pose are just so provocative!




Saturday, May 9, 2009

Hoofin' it in Nashville and Memphis


Here I am in Memphis. I'm not going to lie to you. I'm in Elvis town. I need to backtrack a bit. On the way from Chattanooga to Nashville, we took a detour to South Cumberland State Park which was by Tracy City (big ups!). Off the road about 10 miles we found Foster Falls, which was majestic from the overlook. It was a real freaking treat. It's spring and everything is wet and green and the falls were robust from recent rains. 

My mom's bff's sister (also my friend Camille), Suzanne, lives in Nashville with her husband Andy. He's a professional musician, and they were kind enough to open their home to us and also take us on a kickass car tour of the city. The downtown area is all neon lights. It's quite small for a big city, but feels larger because the buildings are close together and tall, gives the feeling of the Wall Street area. We drove over near Vanderbilt where it looks more Gainesville than NYC. Across the street from the school is a full scale replica of the Parthenon (check it below). We drove past Belmont University which is beautiful. It looks like the Ritz. It's right by all the studios where country greats record. We even saw Reba's studio (Reba RULES)!

OK, so that night I awoke to the loudest thunderstorm I've ever heard. I literally almost shit myself. Literally. The lightning was insane. This was definitely not the kind of tropical storm I'm used to. I eventually fell asleep and dreamt of tornadoes, or course. Now here are some pics and then I'll continue...



After sitting in traffic for an hour and a half we made our way to Memphis. Nashville is more of a traditional American city in the sense that it's attractive, livable, there's stuff to do and it has it's own character and also the character of a typical U.S. city. Memphis, though, is a southern city. From the first houses I saw off the highway, I recognized The South. This is to me a fabulous thing. It seems to have a thicker personality than southern cities back east. I'll try and describe the vibe through my next few posts.

I'm staying in Cooper Young, a sort of artsy neighborhood with independent businesses and bike riders. On Cooper Street are an abortion clinic, gay and lesbian alliance, literacy coalition and a place you can adopt older cats. Awesome? Yes. Right now I'm in a shop called Java something - Java Cabana, and it's adorable with its mismatched, antique kitchen furniture, two old ladies chatting next to me, local art on the walls, Pavement playing and the mean, gay barista. Still, it has the feeling of being in this city and no other. 

Below is a picture of the location where Martin Luther King Jr was shot and killed. The Lorraine Hotel was transformed into the National Civil Rights Museum. I don't understand why they didn't have tissues at the door at this place. Like LOTS of tissues. 

On the way in to town, the guy at the visitor center told us to do the audio tour because there's a lot of reading. Chris was insulted, and after said - I can read... But there was a ton of reading to do. It's all reading and some video - very informative and educational. And then you go into the room where MLK stayed before he was shot. Very sad. The people that worked there were really friendly young kids, all African American. The whole museum was very much geared toward the struggle of blacks in America, and my one critique was that it did focus more on struggle than triumph, but it was something EVERY child should see. Adults, too. For all those shitheads out there that are against affirmative action, a visit here would be an ethical check for them. I mean, so much of this is in recent history. Horrible things Americans have done to Americans. We're barely a few generations past the civil rights movement. Think about it, racists.
Because I didn't want to end up hanging myself from the rafters in sadness, we ended the day at Sun Studio which is where Elvis first cut a record. For $12 they show you around the studio, and it's worth it because it's such a historic place. It's on the National Register of Historic Places. One anecdote told to us by the cute, blond tour guide with a chest tattoo that said "Honky Tonk Girl," was that Bob Dylan came in recently just to kiss the X on the ground that marks where Elvis stood when he first recorded a hit song. 

I'm going to Graceland today and I'll have more to write later! 


Friday, May 8, 2009

YOUTH FAIR show in Miami. Wtf, bro?

Y'all miami bros need to go to "The Youth Fair, Bro." Justin Long and Meatball are putting together some sick shit by recreating the monster that is the county youth fair. Be there. The fair.
The opening is this Saturday and the closing is on the 30th. I'm missing both, and I'm soooo freaking bummed (like, for real though). OK, so here are the highlights: bicycle powered Gravitron (HOMEMADE - sick, I'm telling you), Himalaya Dance Party, Kenny Rogers in concert (but for real? No.), and the LARDASS food concession (no clue, but I'm a heifer when it comes to food of any kind, so I would situate myself near this).  This will be an event to remember. Tell me all about it, please! 
Opening Reception 
Saturday May 9th 8-11:30 
4141 NE 2nd Ave. Suite 103 
Miami, FL 
justinhlong.com 

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Hoofin' it, Days 2 & 3

If you guys were wondering what about my mode of transport, please check out that black beauty below. That's my mom's Saturn station wagon. It is hungry for gas. Compared to my Toyota Camry, it might as well be an SUV. As you can see, I by chance ended up in the 69 space right here in Chattanooga- radical! On our way from Orlando to Swanee, GA, where we rested our heads, we checked out the world's largest peanut monument (below). 

This is a bus bench in Chattanooga. It's a pretty cute little town with a crazy looking aquarium (pictured below) and the Chattanooga choo choo. I actually have been here as a child and was reminded throughout my youth of our visit to see the choo choo. 

I'm writing right now from Greyfriar's, a coffee place that's playing Phoenix right now (I think I heard some Sea and Cake a second ago), and I just purchased a journal (thanks Emily!) at a local bookstore, Rock Point Books. 

This was a random road gem- a "gwaaat" bird, as I'm calling it. It's like saying, "gwat do you want?" This was on Rte 27 in Rossville. Pretty sweet. 

Off to Nashville! 

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Hoofin' it, Day 1: Miami to Orlando

As you can see, my road trip has a name, Hoofin' it, and it has a logo, above. If this were a new website that was trip specific, I'd probably have called it hoofinitbro.com. This fantastic logo was created by the talented musician and visionary (clearly) Daniel Laburu. It's got a little bit of what this trip's about: Route 66, robotic half-face Elvis, barbeque, time travel, wigwams and, what else but Americaaaaah the beautiful. That massive, beautiful beast up there is the life of my party, and what I'm coming home to, but for now, he's a determined mind traveler, with me in spirit.

My first destination has been met! I'm in Winter Park, which is right by Orlando. I met up with my travel companion who has one of the best names of the post 90s era: Chris Cornell. Chris was having a little Cinco de Mayo party with tacos, friends and beer. It was great to see my brother's friends and enjoy some down time with welcoming, unpretentious, nice people. I also saw the movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall, and it was really brilliant. 

I haven't seen much but road. I got lost coming in and the area here looks pretty cute. Nice houses, a Chipotle (yum) and neat bars. I'm doing a morning tour before heading through Georgia today.

I drove up on the Turnpike - what a terribly boring strip of road. I did see three does on the side of the road gracefully munching exhaust flavored grass. I have to say, though it is uncool, I really like service stations with their predictable Starbucks and Sbarros. Today at one of them, I heard the faint voice of David Byrne! Progressive, right? 

As I headed out of town, I started to feel a deluge of emotions, not intense ones, but emotional emotions, if you know what I mean. I had some trepidation and separation anxiety, both feelings which I sometimes hold on to for too long. So, I suppose I'll just have to take it "day by day" and see how I feel along the way. My travels have just begun, so I'll have to see how I adjust. My friend at work had the best advice. In the words of Tim Gunn, she said, "you'll just 'make it work.'" That I will try to do. 

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Freaking sick, bro.

I've been sick. It's my sinuses and they're angry. I just had to clean out my filthy trunk and I think I might faint from the repulsion. At some point over the last 3 years (new, clean) kitty litter exploded back there. I smells like "flowers." Man, oh man. Gotta pack. 

Here's some stuff coming up. 

John Waters - my hero - is going to be at the Lincoln Theater today. I've had 2 Watersian experiences. I was in the audience for the filming of This Filthy World and I went and saw him introduce a film at Lincoln Center - some Marguerite Duras garbaaaggee. I love Duras, as one of the filthier authors of our time, but this was some awful thing with Gerard Depardieu - Le Camion. Gerard was like supposed to be an unbelievable sex symbol in it and all he did was chat with Duras and then there was hours of footage of a truck driving in a bleak environment. It was basically the most boring film ever made. 
My mom's favorite film is Serial Mom and my parents went to see Pink Flamingos on their third date. Needless to say, this is why I am a sick bitch. Love ya, John.

May 5th at the Fillmore is Christopher Guest, Michael McKean and Harry Shearer. 

Today, Carl Ferrari is playing classical Spanish guitar at a place called Bagua (4736 NE 2nd Ave).

On the 7th, Friends With You is having an event at Kidrobot on the beach - art show, launch party, 6-8.


Some more fun in regard to my road trip:
Hopefully this isn't where I end up... Google map 63° 52′ 6.23″ N, 149° 46′ 9.49″ W... it's the bus from Into the Wild.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

sWinding through the flUSA


I haven't written much about my upcoming journey. I'm leaving on Monday and driving through parts of the southern and western U.S. I'm not posting my itinerary because my father thinks some old perv will want to "meet me in St. Louis" as they say or maybe they don't say that in this case where in his mind I'm beaten to a pulp, violated and left for dead.
Point being, I'm heading west.
I'll be traveling with one of my brother's best friends and then good old Jimbo (my bro) and my bud Hillary will be meeting up toward the end of the holiday.

I realize that the tour is self-indulgent, but I'm trying to put my mental health first and sitting around Miami with barely any work for 7+ months is mind-numbing. My head is like a crock pot of anxiety stew (you like that? Probably not). The ironic part is that that freaking pig death will be waiting throughout my trip for me. Waiting JUST for me. Thanks to my favorite food product, the ride is littered with disease, which I am not just not a fan of, but fearful of.
I don't think the masks help much either.
I was going to create a separate blog for the road trip, but I'm just going to split up Miami,bro. So, starting Monday or Tuesday, you'll be getting regular updates from the road! I'm totally biting off of Matt Gross, I know.
If you have Memphis suggestions... give me a heads up! Thanks, bros.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Religulous: God is Great, God is Good.

(This guy's a local and he's the second coming of Christ! Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda is apparently THE Lord. I always knew J.C. would return as a Rican and settle down in Miami. The weather here really is unbeatable.)

Bill Maher sets out in Religulous to cast doubt on the viewers' religious beliefs, in faith and in religious institutions. 

I've mentioned before that I studied religion and like Maher, I also was raised in a Catholic household. And probably similar to the comedian, I would do just about anything to not to have to go to mass. Weddings, funerals, holidays, these all should be celebrated with drink and smoke.

Obviously, I want to pick apart the film. I wasn't at all surprised that the Vatican priests were the most progressive characters representing formal religions. For years, I've been trying to explain to people that Catholics are relatively, or rather comparatively, modern. I obviously know the Church teachings fall very short of being acceptable, i.e. no birth control, no abortions. However, generally, outside of these huge human rights issues, Catholics understand that the scriptures are living texts, that they are not the actual words of God, but rather tales, conduits to finding and expressing your faith. Most Catholics do at least. Many. At least a few do. 

I think the 2 Vatican priests disproved Maher's claim that one cannot possess faith and intellect. Now I love Bill Maher. I LOVE HIM, but he sort of didn't do enough research on Islam for this film, and he wasn't adequately critical of Zionism. 

There were some claims he made when he was in Israel that I know for a fact are horseshit. I've been inside the Dome of the Rock and I prayed at the Western Wall. Maher says that Muslims won't let Jews into the Dome, but that is NOT TRUE. No one asks for id at the door. Also, they said there's a "women's corner," I wandered around the whole place with my male cousin and brother. He didn't even mention what it's like to visit the Jewish Orthodox section of Jerusalem where women have to cover their arms and legs and Arabs are NOT welcome. One sided, much, Bill? For all the shittalking he does about Muslims, they were some of the few with whom he spoke that actually seemed to be able to carry out an intelligent, though evasive, conversation. If you're going to be "objective" then be so, don't pander. 

Clearly he targets Evangelicals because their beliefs are so incredibly illogical and seep so deep into the cracks of our political system that it's pretty hard to accept their fervor. They are an easy and obvious punching bag. I was glad to witness the hits. 

The Muslim musician Propa-Gandhi made a good point about Maher; his perspective is too extreme - too black and white. 

Faith is not just for stupid people, though some stupids try to use faith as an intellectual agent, which it isn't. Faith is sort of like a feeling, maybe one that Maher hasn't experienced recently. Which is fine, not everyone feels faith. But as it is, most people do feel and experience it regularly, and that says something about humanity. Faith isn't intellectual, but neither is happiness or a stomach ache. 

He seems unable to see that some wars are about politics, not religion. Many leaders use religious reasoning to justify the attacks, but I believe that fundamentally wars are about need/want/scarcity. Sure Bush W. used outrageous religious talk to justify invading Iraq, but most of us saw past the talk - remember, no blood for oil? If it weren't for God-language, they'd find some other way of sweet talking the people into submitting to combat. Just as they are faithful, the masses are aggressive, defensive and easily convinced. 

Essentially what I'm saying is that faith isn't the culprit. Plenty of people live with their faith in a way that isn't violent or absurd. Religious tales are like fairy tales, Maher is COMPLETELY correct in making that comparison. Both teach us how to live and grow within the social constructs of the society in which we live. Nothing terrible about that. Everyone needs guidance. 

There's no need to preach doubt, it's preachy and the preaching is the problem. It's obnoxious and unnecessary. You risk sounding as bad as they do. The movie's worth watching though, because Bill Maher is fuuuuunny and you might learn something about the wrath and grace of God or just how truly unstylish a mullet still is.  

Monday Movie Night!

If you don't know much about who's doing what in Miami and you have a burning desire to learn, head over to Sweat Records on Monday and enjoy Tony Kapel's film. You'll get an inside look at our fabulous, active, local artists. 

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

I went to Jimbo's

Happy Earth Day! 
I missed Saturday's gay parade, and I got the date wrong, but I made it to Jimbo's for a bit on Sunday. It was a fun time. However, you know how I mentioned something shitty happening every of his b-day parties? My friend smashed in the side of my car. Awesome, right? Not too bad a scratch, but proof of a trend none the less. 
I saw a lady lift her shirt, and her friends each took each nipple - in their mouth. No lie. A third guy shot a picture. 

Jimbo

The Exchange

This lady's face looked like it beat up asphalt, nice and bruised. 
This is cl"ass."

All lips and tits. 

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Holocaust Remembrance Day?

My favorites, Ravelstein and Henry Rajan, will be performing at the News Lounge tonight at 9 pm. Don't be late!