Monday, January 21, 2008

Brovine Conspiracy

If you read below, you saw that I was tricked into eating the flesh of a cow by an unwitting Dogma employee. Well, after four years (four fucking years!), I was slipped the cow again on Saturday night! Twice in one month!

Picture this: Miami, Florida, US1, 4:30 a.m. on a Saturday night. I hadn't eaten much all day because I wasn't feeling well, but after a drink or two, I hungered for a spicy chicken crunchwrap supreme. I emphasized chicken, I repeated it several times through the radio, chicken. My brother and I were singing "In the Garage" anticipating the delicious flavor of the Bell. Sweet savory heaven. I took my first bite, it was all sour cream, "oh, yeah," I bragged. Then the next, mmmmm, no meat yet. On the third bite, my tongue touched meat! I pulled over and looked closely. Those heifers got me again. It was BEEF!

I don't want to eat you!

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