Tuesday, January 8, 2008

I hate you, Dogma

I haven't eaten beef since New Year's day at about 5 a.m. in fucking 2004! It's been 4 years. I will admit to a tiny bite of empanada and a half a junior bacon cheeseburger in 2005, but before and since, not a single bite of burger, steak, roast beef, brisket has landed in my stomach... not even a hot dog... until today.

I ordered 2 turkey dogs from Dogma on Biscayne and she gave me beef dogs! I was starving, so I mindlessly gorged on the red meat. I had almost finished my first one before I realized that it didn't taste like a turkey and it didn't look like a frigging turkey. It tasted good and moist, unlike the bland white meat they stuff into hot dog casing.

I hate you, Dogma. You ruined my 4 year stretch and my day.

I might as well have eaten this:


Emily Sue said...

I once tried to order a veggie burger and ended up getting a turkey burger. It was pale and white and I was confused. I had one bite, knew it wasn't a hamburger but didn't know what to think. The waiter was a real asshole about it. Goddamn them all to hell.

Farrah said...


welcome back to the real BEEF IS WHAT'S FOR DINNER world! don't worry -- i promise you won't get mad cow!

......anytime soon.......

your devilish cuzin

Liza said...

It's probably an understatement to say that your four year moratorium on beef has been a respectable, dare I say a fine, tribute to BSE - especially in light of your penchant for "mindless gorging." Bravo, Liz, bravo!

Instead of hating on Dogma, however, maybe you should take the beefy lady's blunder as a sign that you should MOVE ON and tackle some other tricky fuckers in 2008 - maybe salmonella, e. coli, avian flu, swine fever, swine vesicular disease, foot-and-mouth disease, rinderpest and/or mercury? It IS an election year, after all.

Durhamite said...

I posted the comment below on Critical Miami some time ago...

This owner is a f#cking lunatic. Months ago he left his sunglasses at the Biscayne location, and we he returned they weren’t there. So the owner docked EVERYONE’S tips until they were returned or paid for, EVEN THOSE WHO WEREN’T THERE AT THE TIME. GET YOUR OVERPRICED DOGS SOMEWHERE ELSE.