Stormy Weathers

I just got back from my brief "vacation" to Manhattan and New Paltz, NY. I will give you an adequate update soon, since I ate delicious food in a beast-like manner which you must salivate over.

I just wanted to tell a quick complaint tale about my flight up. I was scheduled to leave on Thursday at 7:30, but there were tornadoes in Hialeah or something(?). Anyway, my flight didn't leave till after midnight, and it was the bumpiest ride, possibly ever. It was probably how it felt to fly on the first commercial flight over the Himalayas in wintertime. Yeah, it sucked. I even felt the shake through my drug induced "sleep." Then, an hour before we landed, the pilot wakes me from my pathetic rest to tell us that Laguardia closes at 3 a.m., did anyone know this(???), and that we were being diverted to JFK. Perhaps my least favorite airport.
So, at around 4ish, I finally was waiting in line for a taxi, when I said, fuck it, I'm doing a car service. I jumped into a car with a dude --Wally-- from the Ivory Coast (of course), and we made friends. Apparently he sells real estate, and has places listed that are in my friend Liza's building. Small world! He introduced me to some Nigerian musician dude named Fela. There's truly a buttload of great African music out there waiting to enter my ears. Thanks, Walls.

Anyway, I'll post my other adventures later. I just wanted to complain about my flight. I wonder if Miami was any fun this weekend without me. It was probably MORE fun, but I am into being delusional, it was boring, I'm sure. This works for me.

So, this hurricane, huh? Fay's going to dump on my birthday tomorrow?
For sure.
But I'll still be chillin' at home dressed in a cat costume with a cider in one hand and a red velvet cupcake in the other. What better way to spend you billionth b-day?

random shtuff

More Jacuzzi Boys. Last show was great, and I think there will be a greatness repeat. Do it.

Cindy McCain is weak and strange. Couldn't take a handshake.

The Roots at the Fillmore on October 8th-- keep this in mind.

Mufasa Month, Bro

I am a Leo, and every August I take a vacation and I get the hell out of town. This year, I'll be on holiday (as Eddie says) twice: New York this weekend, and London and Berlin the following Friday, for a week. This means that if you want to do wrong by me, wanna tongue an ex of mine in plain, public view, or talk a ton of trash about how lame I am, these will be the times to do so. Of course Miami, bro needs a break from the Miami-life. Miami, bro can, and will travel, and then tell you all about it. Just because, bro. Why the fuck not? I'll be Chilling in NY, bro and then Straight Chilling in London, bro, and finally, Fucking Chilling the Fuck Out in Berlin, bro.

You know how it is.

Beans, beans the musical fruit, the more you eat, the more you toot.

...the more you toot, the better you feel, and then you're ready for another meal!
Alright! I don't know who this weirdo's parents are, but I do love green beans. I mean, I really, really love them.

"It doesn’t take long for the beans to transform from pert to sublimely soft..."

Food can be so deliciously dirty sometimes.

Two Awesome Dudes Go to Heaven

Nice article about Bernie Mac.

NY Times article about Isaac Hayes.

Senufa: beautiful shit, bro. Buy it, bro.

I would like to rave about the wonderful jewelry designer and former Miamian, Senufa Salley. Senufa is of one hot mama (the hot mama of my ex... no doubt), and makes the most thoughtful, beautiful pieces of jewelry and small sculpture. Senufa finally has her website up and running (http://senufa.com/) so we can all buy pieces for ourselves and the ones we truly love. I say "truly" because these pieces are made with beauty and brilliance and deserve to be given with love.

This is for all the big bottomed ladies, like myself...

Senufa actually took some pictures of me draped in her artwork many, many years ago and I think this is my formerly flat belly. Notice the gnawed off nails?

Bravo, Miami!

Last night, I was watching TV and embroidering a pillowcase, not totally focused on the screen. Sheer Genius started on Bravo, and I was watching, thinking about how familiar this one chick looked, the butchy Mexican lady. All of a sudden, I realized that I actually do know her! She used to cut my hair at Allure in the Grove. She goes by Dee, but I think her name is really Denise. She was actually very good, but not the easiest to talk to. Doesn't matter, I was really excited. It turns out she waxed my coworkers brows a few years back, too! GO Miami Dee, bro!

half hair

Not me.



If you know me, you saw that earlier this year I shaved the side of my head. Though it was mostly eclipsed by longer hair, one friend asked if I had had surgery, another (a man, of course) said it made him feel like he was hanging out with a boy, and everyone else thought I looked like a lesbian. So, it wasn't liked by all. I don't give a shit, I liked it. Anyway, turns out this model Alice Dellal, who has taken over for Kate Moss as the face of Agent Provocateur, rocks out with the same 'do. Naturally, she does it better than I do, but whatever, she's a model! I'm a dork! The point is that lately, I have seen and heard of other sightings of Miami ladies with partially shaved heads. I just want it to be noted that, well, it needn't be said, I mean, all that need be said is that the revolution will be blogged. And you're welcome for the inspiration.
These two ladies were my biggest shave supporters. Eddie, not so much.

Dark Nights for Dark Knight?

Dude, not to be superstitious, but uh, The Dark Knight is cursed. First it was Ledger, then Bale, now, Morgan Freeman got into a huge car accident, and had to be removed with the jaws of life! If I had been in or even worked on or anywhere near the filming of that movie, I'd be scared shitless.

Jacuzzzz

I was going to say some really mean shit on this post, but some reason I feel, I don't know, watched? I just deleted a picture where I was going to comment on, where there are all these new anorexic, "gay" boys hanging around all over the place. They're like fake gayish guys who make it with chicks? I feel this is an affront to true gayness, and I kind of also don't find it sexy at all. So cut it out wannabe queers!
On Friday, I went to Churchill's and had a really good time. This band, The Hiss, played, and all I can say is that I couldn't figure out which was more interesting, Shark Week or The Hiss (Shark Week).

The Jacuzzi Boys played their best performance I have yet seen. Rick, from Ha Ha Help, in full Joker gear, was loitering around and on the stage. He took his shirt off, and then I turned to him and said, "why don't you get on stage?" He liked the idea very much and I think he enjoyed his time up there quite a bit.

Diego (Jacuzzi Boys), got a very desirable necklace from King Khan when they were on tour together last month. It has what are either shrimp or crawfish. I cannot express how much I think this necklace is perfect in that it is themed on food and luxury. Yes and yes.

Miami Beach Polka

Check out this lady. She was all tatted up; I think she even had tattoos on her face, and she was dressed to the nines.

As she walked by, the construction workers whistled and yelled, and she just waved at them.

On Thursday night, I went to this thing at PS14, and I think it was called The Big Sleep. There was the strangest crowd I have ever encountered, gathered to watch two chubby teenage girls get slathered in paint and tape. There were all types there. Like, look at this geeky dude in front of that sexy painting... oh, wait, that's my friend Danny. Let me restate, look at that super cool guy in front of two monkeys fucking! Basically, there was a sample of every type of person imaginable.

Jessenia was admiring this girl's gravity-defying hair, so I was like, go over there, and I'll take your picture. Of course, right when I have them where I want them, this chick from cooljunkie.com rushes up in front of me, and takes it first. I was a little annoyed. Anyway, this chick's hair is kinda cool and shit. That's all.