Freaking sick, bro.

I've been sick. It's my sinuses and they're angry. I just had to clean out my filthy trunk and I think I might faint from the repulsion. At some point over the last 3 years (new, clean) kitty litter exploded back there. I smells like "flowers." Man, oh man. Gotta pack. 

Here's some stuff coming up. 

John Waters - my hero - is going to be at the Lincoln Theater today. I've had 2 Watersian experiences. I was in the audience for the filming of This Filthy World and I went and saw him introduce a film at Lincoln Center - some Marguerite Duras garbaaaggee. I love Duras, as one of the filthier authors of our time, but this was some awful thing with Gerard Depardieu - Le Camion. Gerard was like supposed to be an unbelievable sex symbol in it and all he did was chat with Duras and then there was hours of footage of a truck driving in a bleak environment. It was basically the most boring film ever made. 

My mom's favorite film is Serial Mom and my parents went to see Pink Flamingos on their third date. Needless to say, this is why I am a sick bitch. Love ya, John.

May 5th at the Fillmore is Christopher Guest, Michael McKean and Harry Shearer. 

Today, Carl Ferrari is playing classical Spanish guitar at a place called Bagua (4736 NE 2nd Ave).

On the 7th, Friends With You is having an event at Kidrobot on the beach - art show, launch party, 6-8.

Some more fun in regard to my road trip:

Hopefully this isn't where I end up... Google map 63° 52′ 6.23″ N, 149° 46′ 9.49″ W... it's the bus from Into the Wild.

Here's the swine flu map on Google.

sWinding through the flUSA

I haven't written much about my upcoming journey. I'm leaving on Monday and driving through parts of the southern and western U.S. I'm not posting my itinerary because my father thinks some old perv will want to "meet me in St. Louis" as they say or maybe they don't say that in this case where in his mind I'm beaten to a pulp, violated and left for dead.

Point being, I'm heading west.

I'll be traveling with one of my brother's best friends and then good old Jimbo (my bro) and my bud Hillary will be meeting up toward the end of the holiday.

I realize that the tour is self-indulgent, but I'm trying to put my mental health first and sitting around Miami with barely any work for 7+ months is mind-numbing. My head is like a crock pot of anxiety stew (you like that? Probably not). The ironic part is that that freaking pig death will be waiting throughout my trip for me. Waiting JUST for me. Thanks to my favorite food product, the ride is littered with disease, which I am not just not a fan of, but fearful of.

I don't think the masks help much either.

I was going to create a separate blog for the road trip, but I'm just going to split up Miami,bro. So, starting Monday or Tuesday, you'll be getting regular updates from the road! I'm totally biting off of Matt Gross, I know.

If you have Memphis suggestions... give me a heads up! Thanks, bros.

Religulous: God is Great, God is Good.

(This guy's a local and he's the second coming of Christ! Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda is apparently THE Lord. I always knew J.C. would return as a Rican and settle down in Miami. The weather here really is unbeatable.)

Bill Maher sets out in Religulous to cast doubt on the viewers' religious beliefs, in faith and in religious institutions. 

I've mentioned before that I studied religion and like Maher, I also was raised in a Catholic household. And probably similar to the comedian, I would do just about anything to not to have to go to mass. Weddings, funerals, holidays, these all should be celebrated with drink and smoke.

Obviously, I want to pick apart the film. I wasn't at all surprised that the Vatican priests were the most progressive characters representing formal religions. For years, I've been trying to explain to people that Catholics are relatively, or rather comparatively, modern. I obviously know the Church teachings fall very short of being acceptable, i.e. no birth control, no abortions. However, generally, outside of these huge human rights issues, Catholics understand that the scriptures are living texts, that they are not the actual words of God, but rather tales, conduits to finding and expressing your faith. Most Catholics do at least. Many. At least a few do. 

I think the 2 Vatican priests disproved Maher's claim that one cannot possess faith and intellect. Now I love Bill Maher. I LOVE HIM, but he sort of didn't do enough research on Islam for this film, and he wasn't adequately critical of Zionism. 

There were some claims he made when he was in Israel that I know for a fact are horseshit. I've been inside the Dome of the Rock and I prayed at the Western Wall. Maher says that Muslims won't let Jews into the Dome, but that is NOT TRUE. No one asks for id at the door. Also, they said there's a "women's corner," I wandered around the whole place with my male cousin and brother. He didn't even mention what it's like to visit the Jewish Orthodox section of Jerusalem where women have to cover their arms and legs and Arabs are NOT welcome. One sided, much, Bill? For all the shittalking he does about Muslims, they were some of the few with whom he spoke that actually seemed to be able to carry out an intelligent, though evasive, conversation. If you're going to be "objective" then be so, don't pander. 

Clearly he targets Evangelicals because their beliefs are so incredibly illogical and seep so deep into the cracks of our political system that it's pretty hard to accept their fervor. They are an easy and obvious punching bag. I was glad to witness the hits. 

The Muslim musician Propa-Gandhi made a good point about Maher; his perspective is too extreme - too black and white. 

Faith is not just for stupid people, though some stupids try to use faith as an intellectual agent, which it isn't. Faith is sort of like a feeling, maybe one that Maher hasn't experienced recently. Which is fine, not everyone feels faith. But as it is, most people do feel and experience it regularly, and that says something about humanity. Faith isn't intellectual, but neither is happiness or a stomach ache. 

He seems unable to see that some wars are about politics, not religion. Many leaders use religious reasoning to justify the attacks, but I believe that fundamentally wars are about need/want/scarcity. Sure Bush W. used outrageous religious talk to justify invading Iraq, but most of us saw past the talk - remember, no blood for oil? If it weren't for God-language, they'd find some other way of sweet talking the people into submitting to combat. Just as they are faithful, the masses are aggressive, defensive and easily convinced. 

Essentially what I'm saying is that faith isn't the culprit. Plenty of people live with their faith in a way that isn't violent or absurd. Religious tales are like fairy tales, Maher is COMPLETELY correct in making that comparison. Both teach us how to live and grow within the social constructs of the society in which we live. Nothing terrible about that. Everyone needs guidance. 

There's no need to preach doubt, it's preachy and the preaching is the problem. It's obnoxious and unnecessary. You risk sounding as bad as they do. The movie's worth watching though, because Bill Maher is fuuuuunny and you might learn something about the wrath and grace of God or just how truly unstylish a mullet still is.  

Monday Movie Night!

If you don't know much about who's doing what in Miami and you have a burning desire to learn, head over to Sweat Records on Monday and enjoy Tony Kapel's film. You'll get an inside look at our fabulous, active, local artists. 

I went to Jimbo's

Happy Earth Day! 

I missed Saturday's gay parade, and I got the date wrong, but I made it to Jimbo's for a bit on Sunday. It was a fun time. However, you know how I mentioned something shitty happening every of his b-day parties? My friend smashed in the side of my car. Awesome, right? Not too bad a scratch, but proof of a trend none the less. 

I saw a lady lift her shirt, and her friends each took each nipple - in their mouth. No lie. A third guy shot a picture. 

Jimbo

The Exchange

This lady's face looked like it beat up asphalt, nice and bruised. 

This is cl"ass."

All lips and tits. 

Holocaust Remembrance Day?

My favorites, Ravelstein and Henry Rajan, will be performing at the News Lounge tonight at 9 pm. Don't be late!

Gay Pride or Jimbo's?

Two very important Miami events coincide this Sunday. I'm really torn between attending the one, the other or even either.

The first annual gay parade on Miami Beach will be marching down Ocean Drive in full regalia. I'm definitely thinking this will be an extravagant, extraordinary event worth attending. I was certain there'd been others, but apparently after a million years of homo-reign over South Beach, this is the first pride parade. I was thinking, of course, of the Key West parade. I wonder if they never had one here because it gave the boys an excuse to go to the Keys for the weekend. Now they all moved to Wilton Manors, they're aging, and driving to MB probably seems like trek. I'm excited though. We need to revitalize the gay scene on South Beach. It's fading too quickly.

The other party is Jimbo's birthday. I love going, but it's like every time I go some disaster surrounds the day's events. One year I didn't even make it there it was such a shitty day. I mean, I was in my car, on the way, never made it. I think it's the mixing of sun, angry people and cheap beer?
Swampfoot is amazingly interesting in the most complimentary way possible. The crowd is unbeatable. The mosquitoes always starving. I just can't seem to not want to go, but in my heart I know it's a terrible idea. Maybe I'll oversleep and end up doing nothing at all. My fingers are crossed.

Thurs stuff to do, bro

Tonight at the Bass Museum, Bert Rodriguez is having an opening, 7-9, with live performance art. Do it. Then there's Churchill's.

I've been known to get Around Town and around the nation

I have two announcements:

1.
So, like, you know I'm into some level of anonymity. Obviously you see my freaking face up here, but generally I don't post things like my name, SS#, address, cat's name (he comes when called, don't take him from me, please!).

Get your pencils ready, because this is about to change. I'm writing a daily blog/article for NBC Miami for the Around Town section, so my name's out there floating in cyberspace, associated with this blog. This could go one of two ways. I could never get a job again, having been profane herein my bro-blog, or someone will have pity on me and love me for my brash ways.

You may notice some content overlap; don't be critical. You try thinking of 10 things a week to write about and then come at me. I will admit, it's a bit of a struggle to write not in first person. I'm such an egomaniac freakshow that IIIIIII need to write about me. I'm learning and being edited, so hopefully my voice comes through and I'm not too flustered to write what's expected of me (oh, me).

2.
I'm hitting the road for a month. I'm barely employed, what work I have I will do from the road and I'm anxious and bored in Miami. I've been out of work since October. I come to an office 3 days a week, but it's not my job-job. I go up and down emotionally. For a bit I feel like a gigantic loser and then I feel lucky to have the time off, but mostly, I feel like I have no control over my life, no money and I've been on the border of an anxiety attack for about three weeks now. I definitely let this affect all areas of my life, and am masterful at the art of love me/hate me. I am starting to hate me here.

If you are obsessed with me (and you should be), you'd have noticed that I go through times of laying low and then longer periods of going out too much. I'm tired. I need a break, so I'm taking the month of May and driving around the country. I'll blog along the way, and I want you guys to read me and support me. It's very likely that I'll have a complete breakdown and then head back to South Florida with my head hanging down. I could care less, I'm about to lose it just laying around in my bed. At least if I'm on the road, I can have a startling backdrop like the Grand Canyon at my back as I pull my hair from the roots.

Ultimately, I'm not planning to have a nervous breakdown. I'm planning an adventure. I'll still blog locally, but I will need support and love along the way.

A-list entertainment

As I've mentioned before, I watch a lot of reality television. I didn't expect much to be on last night, maybe an old "Designed to Sell" on HGTV, but I was delighted to find the A-list Awards on Bravo. They were surprisingly hilarious.
Some highlights, for me, included Tori Spelling's acceptance speech, where she thanked Chelsea Handler for being cruel to her and then Chelsea Handler's speech where she mentioned that Tori looks like a man. What was more priceless was when Niecy Nash read from Tori's new book. Watch this, please.
My girl Nene Leakes from the Housewives of Atlanta won the Reality's Guiltiest Pleasure award, well deserved.
The whole show was completely entertaining and I suggest you catch it on repeat.

more musica y videos

Videos I promised (ignore my double chin):

Thank you NYT and MJ for these images.

Here's the article. 

Mod'lone and video amore

I went by Uva on Thursday to see my friends Mod'lone perform with visuals by Tasha, of the TM Sisters, and Dylan, creator of the logo above. I'd never been to Uva and knew nothing about it, but it was an interesting joint with huge roman columns and an eclectic crowd. I bought one drink and it was $10... they claimed to have had drink specials, but I didn't hear the announcement until after I had one in my hand. Bummer.

The performance was great. The music has, in my opinion, evolved a bit since I last saw them perform at Churchill's a long while back. Maybe they were just as good then, and I wasn't paying attention. Either way, they really made an impression on myself and the crowd. The first three songs were Tony on the drums and Henree on the guitar and then Maite joined in on bass for the last few. The whole time, Dylan was filming and generating images and Tasha was mixing up his and her videos onto the backdrop. Very sexy video lovemaking. It was all done with the signature humor of both these adorable artists (u 2 r cute). I hope they do it again and again and again.

Here's a video form when Mod'lone performed at the TM Sister's recent closing. Hopefully I can post the video from the other night soon. 

Sad Dragon

I hear nerd tears falling... 

Today is a good gay

Vermont became the first state to legalize gay marriage through legislative action. Read about it here. This is so exciting! Congratulations guys!

On the same subject, Iowa courts recently voided a ban on gay marriage in that state. Read more here.

On a different subject, Kumar is moving to the White House. This is awesome.

Go gays!

Stuff, bro

Since I had a pretty low-key weekend and have little to talk about, I'm posting more Tallahassee pics.

As far as upcoming events: Flight of the Concords tomorrow, Ratatat at Revolution on 4/12 and, don't pee yourself, but Spinal Tap: Unwigged and Unplugged will be at Jackie Gleason, I mean the Fillmore (I resist change), on May 5.

Look how huge the Reagan poster is in the Silver Slipper. Right on Jesse, stick it to him.
Look how pretty Leon Pub is, chokes me up a bit. Thanks Jesse, Chris, Alysha and Aimee for visiting me and making me feel not rejected.

Tallahassee Dreamin'

What can I say about our beautiful capital city? 

I spent a full May to May in this town of Whataburgers, Guthrie's and kegs. Ten months of that time was spent resenting my location and two actually getting used to this somewhat likable, useless place. I find, as I returned this week, that it's even more likable when you don't have to live here. 

I volunteered to come up for Dade Days with my former employer, Human Services Coalition, since I am out of work, and in need of do-gooding. Dade Days are when activist groups from Miami come up to meet with legislators on issues that are important to them. We came up to encourage them to increase the cigarette tax, remove certain unnecessary tax exemptions (bottled water) and put that money toward healthcare. The other main issues involved removing Kidcare barriers and supporting immigrant protection. 

About twenty community members and a few staff all rode up on the bus on Tuesday. The a/c broke on the way up and the bus got caught on an incline for hours when we got to the hotel, but otherwise, the trip has been a low key, civic expression. Yesterday was the big day of meeting with legislators. We ended up talking to a few conservatives who really could not have cared less about our opinions. 

I was in the Creole speaking crew, half of which was perpetually tired, and scattered in various chairs around the Capitol building. One aide I spoke with, Rep. Rivera's to be exact, asked me, "how often do you even go to the doctor anyway?" when I spoke about limiting administrative barriers for KidCare. What a chummy gal, right? I told her, not so often as an adult, but as a kid with frequent ear infections, I lived off of penicillin. She was a treat though, compared to Rep. Llorente's aide who hmed and uh-huhed me for five minutes. Finally when I said that we were hoping to bring down the full federal dollars from the stimulus package, he spoke and said, 

"well that's not going to happen." So I told him, "you know, I'm allowed to ask." And he and some other Republican douche laughed, hahaha. He said, "you are." Oh man, I'm glad I have an attitude, because these dudes really need someone to not cower under their power-hungriness. These guys are STATE legislators, I mean, you're not Obama's staff, and you never will be, so show an ounce of respect for your constituents. 

Back on the Tally tip. I wanted to talk a bit about the fun things I actually got to do up here. We were staying across the street from the Silver Slipper, infamous for its curtained booths. Apparently legislators are known for bringing their mistresses there. I ended up in the lounge of the Silver Slipper called Diamond Jim's. On Tuesday night they have karaoke, and these people were belting out some seriously amazing country tunes. I was more than impressed. Of course, I sang a little, my Patsy Cline was decent, even Rick in a cowboy hat complimented me. 

Last night I ate at San Miguel's, which was good Mexican, but the $10 margarita pitcher was a straight up bad idea. Some oldies but goodies met up with Miami, bro at Leon Pub, which has one of the longest beer lists of any bar I've ever been to. It is impressive, to say the least. The juke box is one of my favorites, not a ton of options, but quality options. 

Right now, I'm sitting in the Capitol, itching to get home. Mostly glad I came up, and I hope, if nothing else, I was useful as a human GPS, helping my group find their way around a strange and southern place.

Pictures: do you see that that, above, is a stuffed elephant on the wall? 

Broken buses and wheelchairs are not good partners. 

Sen. Wilson was nice to the Creole crew. 

This guy was great... his name is Rep. Luis Garcia (seriously). 

It was the week of the child or children's week, so the capitol building was really beautiful with artwork by children.