Fuck you very much, Starbucks

I just moved near downtown and I don't have an internet connection at home yet. Tuesday's the big day!
Apparently there are about no wifi hotspots on Biscayne. I went by The Daily the other day and spent $10 on a blt, then tried to log on and my Mac wouldn't connect.
So today, I went by Starbucks and after being ignored for a bit, they tell me that after I buy a $5 card, it takes TWENTY-FOUR HOURS before I can get on the freaking internet. I was like - I don't give a shit about 24 hours from now, I need to get on now, that's why I'm here now. If I had a time machine, that would be a great convenience and I would be sitting with my $4 latte and unpleasant tasting croissant right now, blogging with pictures. Luckily, my friend Josh has lent me his laptop/internet for the moment so that I may rant. Tomorrow, I hopefully will be up and running with blabbing and shitty opinions galore.

New York: a brief background and Mercer Kitchen is good, bro

Where to begin, but at the beginning. I was born in White Plains, New York, and attended school there, a few early years. We spent summers driving around the northeast, and I've been visiting my best friend Liza in the Big Apple since '95 for parties and friendship. I spent 2006 living in the City, and although at first I was enchanted with the possibilities, I soon succumbed to the realities of this big town and to my own anxieties. I hadn't actually been back in a year, since Liza's Block Island wedding, but since I was turning a big number with a zero in it, my parents flew me north to try and help me remember how loved I am.

It's funny how things in NY really don't change so much. The view from where I sleep at Liza and her husband Kevin's shows the Empire State (above), something solid, lasting. Many of the bars and restaurants I once frequented remain open and packed. Over the next few posts it'll become clear what I mean. 

On my birthday, Liza and Kevin brought me out to eat at the very fancy Mercer Kitchen. Located in the basement of the Mercer Hotel (sister to the Chateau Marmont - that's fancy in Hollywood), the walls are brick with arches and mirrors; it's dark and intimate and most importantly, the food was tops. 

For appetizers, we devoured the roasted market beets with goat cheese and crunchy squid with chili lime mayo sauce, calamari, basically. I'm not an adventurous eater and I have an innate fear of beets (why are they so red?), but these were perfectly earthy and some weren't even red. I made sure to find any way possible to get that chili lime sauce on my fingers for an extra taste. I even dipped my bread in it. 

This was Liza's roasted black sea bass, which was too pretty to eat. I ordered the Niman Ranch pork chop with a chili glaze - it was the size of a t-bone. I couldn't even finish it, but man was it cooked perfectly. I often order "chops" pork or lamb, and am often disappointed, but this time I was impressed. For dessert, we'd suggest getting the poached pear, as it was intoxicatingly scrumptious! If you have some money and you'd like a laid-back but still trendy atmosphere, I'd put my bid in for this joint. 

After dinner we stood around and had a drink at Merc Bar, which I've supposedly been to before, but I never noticed how delightful the waterfall tryptic was until now. It was really relaxing, for me at least. 

Needless, bro

Very importantly, Adam Gersten/Needless Records, is throwing Saturday night at PS14. It's imperative that you attend. 

Entrance is only $5 and the flyer is really likable! 

DJ's will include Oly, Benton and Bert Rodriguez, so there will be a diversity of sounds. The Jacuzzi Boys are playing and Barreracudas will be in performing, in from Georgia and they sound like fun. 

Two more bands have been added, Little Beard and Teepee, and Adam and his brother Mike will be DJing as the Flying Gerstini Bros. I know you're drooling now, so go and wish me an early happy birthday. 

Do like I do, and pretend you're young again; you remember the angst.  

Here's more info on Adam and this whole affair.

GI Joe, bro

1980's GI Joe Collection 108 figures and Weapons Lot Check this out - it's 108 figures, accessories and 2 vehicles. This is a mega cool gift for a dorky guy who never grows up, or for someone dorky, like me.

Churchill's again, bro?

Here are some pictures from the Davila 666/Jacuzzi Boys show on Tuesday at Churchill's - pictures were taken by Ivan Santiago - thank you, homey! 

These guys were hot, as in they were really freaking hot and didn't play long because it was over a million degrees inside. I guess it's cooler in the PR? I don't know, never been (this was meant as a joke, humorless folks).

 

This guy on the guitar, right below here, was really good. He was probably the most skilled musician on stage all night, not to dis on anyone else. I was impressed. The music was good, but the crowd had thinned out at that point, possibly because it was oven-like in there. 

I have to give credit to the 2 best dressed people of the night, both drummers, actually. 

There's Diego, with his Route 66 t-shirt, which made me very happy. And even though almost nothing beats out Americana camp for me, the drummer of Davila 666 was even better dressed, or undressed, rather. Sure he was topless, but he had a RUBBERY SNAKE around his neck! What a freaking genius! If only I were a boy. There wouldn't be a day this city didn't see my nipples! Oh I would garnish my manly chest with childhood treasures. You'd like it, I can tell. 

A FUNeral for the Ages

Shrine for Nate

This past Friday noted the "passing" of a great friend of mine, former roommate to me and one of Miami's best. Nathan Vuong, once known as DJ Stickyrice, was also known for being adorable, Asian and awkward. He's one of my bestest buddies but he's off to start a new life in Los Angeles. CalArts has claimed yet another of my friends and in an effort to send him off, we respected the wishes of his best friend Kira and threw him a funereal themed get-together. 

There's the lucky guy in his coffin. One of his friends Frank happened to have 3,000 expired black condoms, which set the right mood for morbidity. I have some extra if any of you are interested in living on the edge.

Jason is a genius and a kind man. He made this brilliant t-shirt in memory of the departed: "see you at the crossroads." I seriously think he deserves an award for this effort. 

(front)

(back)

We did some eulogies and mine made me teary-eyed, but others told funny memories and expressed their regret at the Vuong departure. As you can see, he seems comfortable in his coffin with his black fan. 

After the sad stuff, Nathan did some karaoke and the dancing began. I could do a whole blog of Meatball dancing and Nathan doing karaoke. Next project! All in all, we had a great night with lots of good folks. Glad you all came! 

Doesn't he look angelic? 

Justin's shirt MJ shirt - appropriate - Gone Too Soon

Bro, that sucks, bro

Not sure if you can see this, but on my way back from Whole Foods (hi John and Jessica!), northbound US1 was blocked off. A huge cement light post was knocked halfway over. It's the slanted thing in the middle of the trees. 

Good news (for me, y'all don't care)! My camera is being fixed so I can not take shitty shots like this one where you can't see what the hell I'm talking about. Horray! 

Work that ass, bro

I will admit, I haven't been yet. I keep saying I'll go, but I don't. I blame the move, Nathan's move, my dog-sitting duties, but the truth is I'm forgetful and lazy. It's 3 p.m., I haven't left the house nor have I brushed my teeth. I think I'm excused as a crazy person. 

The event I write of is the new "Dance It Off" class where you get to perform in public while working your fat ass into a hard, fat ass. For the last month or so, Debbie Attias (formerly of Avenue D), has been hosting dance lessons on Miami Beach each Sunday, from 7-8:30. It takes place on the sand on 9th Street, so walkers-by can jump on in and join the fun. It's a workout, but not for the super-serious. Wear your workout best and bring a bathing suit and agua. There's a $10 suggested donation. Maybe I'll be there dorking it up this week, clumsy as ever. 

NYers, wear your ear plugs

Show on Sunday, August 16th, 8 p.m., at Public Assembly (70 N. 6th St., Brooklyn). 
- PC Worship
- Monotract
- Slasher Risk
- Islands Eyelids
- Peopling
- Multitudes

Do I look good, bro?

I didn't want to get into it about The Sartorialist, but I just saw this picture and I became inspired.

I've long agreed with my mostly gay, male friends that this guy really knows men's fashion. Every dude on the site makes me want to become either some anorexic, 7-foot-tall, queer, male fashionista or a middle-aged, gay Asian with rolled up khakis. These dudes almost always look at least kind of cool. I find he also knows a well dressed older lady, however The Sartorialist is always very far off with his younger women's wear. All the chicks look like they just left Forever 21, but a little less cheap. Like how does this belong with this? 

This kid pictured below, his daughter, is adorable, but the thing that stands out here is that she's dressed like a very stylish boy. She's a little dude. Truth be told, God, I wish I could wear this outfit without actually becoming a lesbian. It's cuter than cute! 

One last comment. Does this make anyone else uncomfortable? Does he have camel toe? Is that even possible? 

OK, wait, I'm not finished - this guy is fly. 

What's up, bro?

Last week I moved, so I had nothing to do but anxiously pack and mope. 

Here's The Utne Reader reporting on a story on how to be homeless by The Nation. I'm studying how to manage my new housing status. 

The doldrums of summer are passing and now we have a few interesting things popping up. 

Tonight, Afrobeta is playing for free at Jazid. 

Tomorrow, go give some poor kids at Fredrick Douglass Elem. $5 for art supplies. Sweat and Circuitree are hosting this event at Vagabond - read more here and the flyer is right down there.

Then on Thursday, The Down Home Southernaires changed their name to Animal Tropical, and they're kicking off a tour at Churchill's - I'll be posting my expanded article tomorrow - right here. The album is great. 

Also, Nightdrive is back at the American Legion, Thurs. This means cheap drinks. 

Friday is a special night I can't speak of online. Cryptic, I know. Pictures later.

Saturday, Aiden Dillard will be premiering his film Death Print, featuring many locals - Otto, Jose El Rey, TM Sisters - showing at the Colony Theater. It'll be an event.  

Aug. 11, the very awesome In The Red Records is representing in Miami with Davila 666 and the Jacuzzi Boys. These dudes recently played at Hi-tone in Memphis, so they should be good. Please don't wear heels or flip flops to this show. There's a chance I will step on your feet if you do.