On the way to the Jamie Lidell show, I was stuck in traffic on 395. I was running just on time for the show before it took me 45 minutes to drive 2.98 miles. No lie. We saw cop lights in the distance and as we neared the area where I was expecting extreme carnage, as what else would hold up hundreds of cars for an hour on the road? But all I saw this scene below: minor fender-benders and two lanes blocked off. Ridiculous and cruel. People were hopping out of their cars to piss on the side of the road. That's how long we were waiting.
So, when we finally got to the Beach, I parked easily and as I arrived at Heathrow Lounge, I noticed a line of people out front, and then a fire truck pulled up and three firemen went into the club as I stood wondering if I was going to miss the show. Apparently the fire alarm went off and the place was at capacity. Luckily I had tickets and a big mouth, and by the time we got in, we had only missed one song. The show was good, I thought, though a less impressed friend mentioned that she felt like she was at a Suenalo show. It was very "soulful," was the word she used, and to me this was a good thing, to her, not so much. I saw what she was getting at, but ultimately, the music was fun, and totally danceable. At one point Jamie Lidell offered the mike to the girl next to us, for her to sing into, and then, I guess because she didn't know the words, and she's obviously a nutcase drama queen, she fake fainted onto her friends. I didn't get a picture, but here's the bad coming off the stage:
I was determined to take a picture with one of the band members, so we attacked whomever exited the stage as we neared it, and it happened to be Jamie Lidell! I grabbed him and asked for a pic, and he was very cool about it. I love you, Jamie, you're cool.
In a non-related event, my brother was in town this weekend, and we spent a bunch of time in the sun. On Sunday, I went kayaking again, but this time, up at Morningside Park, which is only $5 per hour, per person. There are a few islands around there we paddled to, which were strewn with garbage. My friend and I felt the urge to clean up the earth, but instead we made our way over to the mansions, and attempted to peer into the windows.
We needed to clean the dirty bay water off of our bodies, so we went to South Beach for a dip. Let me tell you, it was the most beautiful beach day I've had in years. The sand was like baby powder, the water was just shallow enough and clear enough to see through. The waves were high, but not overwhelming. The water was warm, but not like kiddie urine. It was divine. There's Jimbo and Jesse basking in the beauty of Mother Earth, with a huge cruise ship, ploughing through the pristine nature, behind them.
Here are the many faces of Chongalicious. These chicks were two thumbs up, cute and funny. Here's John, Jessenia and I with the talented two. That last picture is just a gratuitous shot of that sock man. If you can, zoom into the crotch area. Something special.
I ended up attending both of my weekend suggestions. The Bar was mostly an uneventful five hours of evening drinking, which, as always, led to a long and eventful night. 
What does everyone think about the cover of The New Yorker? Nice, huh? Stereotypes are funny? Right? I guess Obama's people think this satire thing has gone too far, they're not too thrilled with The New Yorker right now. I think this is the craziest, ballsiest image I've ever seen on the cover of a national magazine. I mean, it beats any naked pregnant woman. 
I arrived late to the art walk, but I caught the end of a few things. Here is my friend Genevieve at Locust Projects, which is an ongoing piece by Jason Hedges, Lamb, about food. He roasted, wouldn't ya know, a lamb, and you can see the spit below. The Weather Channel said it'd be in the mid-70s, this was a cruel lie, it was 90 degrees, and the roasting fire made me feel like I was melting! But it was a lot of fun seeing street meat in a new way. Gen looks like she's really into that meat, huh? 
I stayed in on Friday night, hoping for a romp in the sweet MB waves the next morning, but Mother Earth wouldn't let me fully satisfy my water lust. I was in denial about the rain for about the first 5 hours after I woke up. I was certain that it'd clear up. I heard about $5 kayak rides at Morningside Park, and I drove up there, dodging lightning bolts, thinking, "it'll be sunny by the time I get there." Of course, it wasn't, there was nothing but dark hovering clouds and danger, so I ate like a ravenous wolf at Canela Cafe instead. Pictured here is the cafe Canela, which is yummy. It's like Starbucks, but good and not gross. Two of us ate a ton of food for only $26. I would order a soup from Canela for sure if I were you and I were eating there. I had about 20 rolls with the tasty garlic butter, which I scooped into my mouth on a spoon when no one was looking. 
audience.
DON'T FORGET: 2 Live Crew at Vagabond on Thursday night. This is some SERIOUS Miami shit. In fact, you will definitely have to pop your "coochie," and you may want to don a pair of daisy dukes (Repo Crew video linked here for costume ideas). I once saw Uncle Luke at a Get Out The Vote event four years ago and man, was I star struck. See ya there.
