Monday, September 1, 2008

Alaska Family Values


Turns out, McCain running mate, K. Sarah Palin Walker's 17 year old is knocked up and single. I know this is sort of run of the mill in Alaska, but makes us city folk a bit nervous. Bristol Palin has "plans" to marry baby daddy, and also has a tragically unfortunate name. I think that I actually visited Bristol, Maine, and everyone there is unmarried and has a litter of dirty, uneducated children who breathe fossil fuels instead of oxygen. No lie. 
I guess McCain's really setting himself apart from those sexually responsible, condom totting, heathen Democrats. Remember, wasn't Chelsea such a fucking whore? No wait, that was her daddy. Chelsea's like a goddess, and she works like a slave in banking; she's a genius. Now Bristol... if mama were responsible enough to run a government, she would've brought you one of these many tools we use to prevent pregnancy, seen below. Or maybe have been nice enough to get another family member to drive you to Planned Parenthood of Alaska.  

1 comment:

cb said...

Bristol is also a NASCAR track, also fitting.